Photobombers

I wonder if anyone anticipated me doing a Fourth of July special here

Because, haha, nope

Finally, as expected, Tal and Bear grew so far apart that they finally lost the friendship between the two of them.

“‘Bout fuckin’ time.”

But considering that he was Bear’s only friend, and being friendless is so much sadder, I made him go make up with Tal 😀

“WHAT”

“Ah, would you look at that.  This damn bike is finally a pain in the ass obstacle!”

GAH

“All by mysellllf… dun’ wanna be, all by mysellllf…“

Bear is still suffering some kind of weird, I-don’t-have-romantic-social-options bullshit, which, despite the fact that I’m not setting him up with anyone yet, is really concerning me.  I blame his unflirty trait, even though he still can’t even flirt with his bestest of best friends (AKA Tal), and I might trade it out for Diva or Loves the Outdoors or Bitch or something later.

This picture was taken for the sole purpose of pointing out that Sugar looks like a naked lettuce wrap in that dress.

“I’m nawt really sure how I’m crossin’ mah legs successfully in this dress, but as lawng’ as it ain’t obstuctin’ my ability to watch TV, I don’t care.”

“AHH!  I broke the TV!  Someone help me, wut am I gonna do all evenin’ now?!”

“Yew broke the TV, girl?!  That wus onna’ my only friends in this house!! *headlock*”

I think Nascar is just looking for any excuse for violence now.

Sugar was then sent outside to socialize with people, namely Uncle Bear and CT while they play with their new domino set thing.

“I’d enjoy this more if those damn horses’ stop backin’ their asses onto the back of my head!”

“Please do take a bath after this, Sugar.”

“I’m so glad Tay finally accepted my many phone calls to meet’im somewhere.  I think we’re gonna have a grand ole’ time together heer at this park ‘n… wut the hell’s that in the bushes?”

“What, can’t an old woman sob to herself about the loss of her boyfriend in the shrubbery in peace?”

Oh no Mariah, that makes you look crazy, sweetie.

“TAY!  I called yew to meet me heer this MAWNIN’!  It’s almost nighttime heer!  Wut the HELL kept yew, man?!”

“BAW, that sounds like how <insert manface’s name> used to keep me waiting, oh SOB!”

“Sorry, Lady!  I had to graduate!  You know how long that takes!  I came as soon as the crowd got out of my way!”

“Well then, here’s a graduation gift frum me to yew, Tay.  Sorry fur snappin’, I hope you like them!”

“Aw, flowers!  You shouldn’t have, Lady!”

“Really, you shouldn’t have, because I don’t have time for this kinda datin’ stuff right now, standin’ in a crowd all day made me tired.  Later, Lady!”

“WHAT THE FU-“

“Ah, boyfrien’ who left me standin’ at the prom doors wid no date last week, I’m happy to see you are still able to show ur face in town after that stunt!  But I furgive yew, ‘n heer’s a gift to show it, I promise it won’t explode ‘r anythin’ when you try to open it :)”

“Um, ok, thanks?”

“‘N now that yew accepted my gift, we gonna be together FOREVER!  RIGHT?! RIGHT?!”

“UM…”

At least CT knows how to put her foot down in relationships better than Lady does.

“Ah, back in the house!  I miss this place you know!  I know I’m only allowed back in during parties and stuff, but I miss you guys!”

Yeah yeah, Tal, get out of the way, important milestone going down over here.

“I wonder if it would be too big of a hassel to wish to just stay young furever!”

“I just wish to age gracefully, because you’re wasting your wishes, Tater!”

And I wished that sims would stop pissing themselves during birthdays, but I guess that would be too much of a hassel.

“Wut?!  I thought we had decided to make this a family tradition!”

“Gross, I’m old, saggy and I’m no longer sexy any more!  I could just CRY *takes smoking back up again*”

“Well it’ll probably be better than the snuff you keep spitting everywhere.”

While I was at it, I aged up CT’s boyfriend too because teen years take a while to wait for.

“NO BLADDER!  I will NAWT go to the bathroom fur yew!  It’s my boyfrien’s birthday ‘n by hell’r high water I ain’t missin’ it fur a piss break!”

Oh how she regretted it, I’m sure.

“It’s tradition!  I ain’t ashamed of it!”

“Am I… standing in robot piss?!”

Now that I think about it, I haven’t given anyone a good luck at CT’s boyfriend have I?

Yes, it’s one of Gracie’s ugly neanderthal kids 😀

“Caveman get pretty woman now?!”

I regret nothing!

“Wut… yew know wut, I ain’t askin’.”

“That’s cool, because I wasn’t going to explain anything anyway.”

“Oh, there yew are, Tay!  I figgured that since ur bullshit yesterday, yew’d never even show up today!”

“What, of COURSE I’d show up, Lady, and I promise I wasn’t plannin’ on doin’ anything to this horse’s butt, no sir’ee!”

…

“I’m gonna pretend to nawt hear anythin’ yew said relating to my horse’s butt, ‘n ask yew to marry me, Tay!”

“Really?!  Even after I was, oh nevermind! Oh Lady, I will!”

Bella: *farts and ruins photo*

“Oh Dolly.  I’mma ’bout to go take my boyfrien’ ‘n ride that train to downtown Pound Town, alrigh’!”

“I… didn’t want to hear that.”

“Caveman have pretty woman!  Pretty woman love caveman!  Caveman get mating dance tonight~”

“Yeah um, Marvin… no one wants to hear about that, ok?”

“CAVEMAN SEXES PRETTY WOMAN!  CAVEMAN SEXES PRETTY WOMAN!  MY PRETTY WOMAN, NOT PUNY LITTLE COUSIN OF CAVEMAN’S!  MINE!”

“I don’t want her, man!  Stop screaming at me!”

“GOOD.  CAVEMAN’S PRETTY WOMAN.”

“I am gonna cry now.”

I’m not sure how they are cousin’s either.

“PRETTY WOMAN!  WE GO DO MATING DANCE NOW!”

“I’d say control your cousin, Taylor, but I’ve been standing in my cousin’s pee all day so…”

“Oh Marvin.  I think it’s so cute when you throw a little sex deprived tantrum like that!”

“Caveman happy pretty woman like caveman!  Does caveman get mating dance now?!”

“Yew will sweetie, I promise!

“Can yall please nawt talk ’bout this junk in the kitchen guys?!  I wus eatin’ in here.”

“Marvin, if you accept my wedding proposal, you will get all the matin’ dances from me that you could ever want!”

“Still in the shot, still don’t wanna hear all this…”

“Caveman accept pretty rock as mate chooser!  Caveman happy!  Very happy!”

“Yay fur us then!”

“Still photobombin’, in case anyone’s furgotten, I’M the damn heiress, nawt her ‘r Lady…”

Yes Dolly, your time will come.

Sugar on the other hand, has no one she’s looking at, considering she spent all her time in front of the television, and she knows no one outside of her family.

“‘N I think it’s time well spent.”

So I just moved her out for the elbow room.  I will miss her, she was pretty, but she was boring too.  Maybe she’ll find some one out there to date or something.

“Grandpa Dale!  Long time no see!  Guess what, I lost my will to flirt with other people ever again!”

“… Well then yew ain’t no grandson of mine then!”

That’s sad because it’s true XD

Later on, there was a living room wedding set up, uh, setted up, for Lady and Marvin and Tay and CT.

Who doesn’t want to get married in their living room?

“Daddy, we gotta problem!”

“What’s the matter my sweethearts?”

“Our grooms are missin’!  Tay didn’t even show up during the invitations, and we can’t find CT’s stupid caveman anywhere!”

Marvin was in the backyard, wanting to ruin the whole wedding by wanting to take off to the graduation place and graduate.

That’s getting to be a massive pain in the ass and plan ruiner

Nascar: *bitch slaps cowplant with a fish*

“Flowers?!”

“Um, no?  I’m married.”

“Why does no one want my flowers!  I’m so sad!  What’s wrong with me and why does no one want my advances?!”

Maybe because you have four kids with four different men?!  Yeah, I think that’s the reason.

“I’m ready to git married, Marvin!  I’m gonna ride it like a stallion afterwards all night lawng!”

“Daddy, CT won’t stop bein’ inappropriate.”

“Not really a shocker, Dolly.”

“Wid’ ur pink hair and my green skin, we stand a chance of makin’ sum really funky lookin’ babies!”

“Hells yeah!”

Then CT cut the cake herself because Marvin really sucks actually.

“‘N now that my own fiance has finally refound the lot, me and Tay shall git married now!  Yay!”

“Oh SOB!”

“What’s wrong Lady?  Are you that happy to get married to me?”

“It’s nawt that, it’s that yew didn’t wear the cute little tuxedo I picked out for yew!  This is kinda ruinin’ mah weddin’ Tay!”

Nascar: “Yeah because gettin’ married in the livin’ room is ur big idea fur a fancy weddin’, I’m sure, Lady.”

“Oh Ken, two of our lil’ angels are married now.  Now if only Dolly can decide on who she wants, all our kids will finally have love!”

“Well most of them, Tater, seeing as Sugar won’t leave the TV alone to talk to anyone else.”

“Sorry I’m late, I think I had school to go to or something.  I don’t know.”

“It’s cool man, at least yew showed up, seein’ as Mack lives right fuckin’ next door and can’t get off his ass to accept our invitation to mah sister’s weddin’s.”

“I’m glad you’ve decided to hold this event in your house.  I hate standing outside with my albino complexion.  I burn.”

“How strange, I hate outside too!  That’s so neat, Taylor!”

“Hey Tater, our daughter Dolly is talking to that cute little pink haired boy!  Maybe she’s already decided on someone!  Yay!  I really like this kid!”

“Which is good because BOOOO other Dolly’s option!  You can’t even show up in formal to my little girl’s big day, SCREW YOU!”

“Daddy, oh mah gawd, be nice!”

“I agree!  BOOOO!  Since I have no other real reason to hate yew, yew lil’ shit!”

“Jeez sir!  Calm down!  I haven’t really done anything to get this kinda treatment :(“

“Besides I like Taylor.  His hair is my exact favorite color.”

“Yeah, thanks old timer, like I wanted to be reminded that my hair is made out of cotton candy >:I”

“Dolly, ur dad’s are being mean to me.  Can you get them to stop booing and heckling me already?”

“I’m sorry sweetie, they do that all the time.  That’s just the kind of weird stuff you have to get used to ’round here.”

“Hey Dolly, want some cake?!”

“Um, no Lady, I’m good.”

“Sure you don’t want any of this cake?  It’s good cake, my weddin’ cake, yew know, because I’m already happily married, and yew, yew know, ain’t…”

“Don’t yew have anything better to do than to CONSTANTLY get in my way, Lady?!”

Lady, CT, Tay, and Marvin were kicked out right after the party.  They all went to live with Sugar and her television, and hopefully they will start popping out youngin’s soon.

“Two weddings in one day, Nascar.  It was so lovely to see my little ones find love and get the hell out of my house.”

“Yeah… weddings were nice, Tater…”

“You wanna a little sexy time with ole’ Bella here, Nascar? 😉 For old times sake, I’m opeeeen~“

“Not in the mood Bella… Can’t you see I’m depressed as it is?  I’m going to bed.”

“Tater, you have got to do something about Nascar.  The girl’s getting married has made him sad, and I’m thinking he’s getting a little lonely himself.”

“Bah, that’s jus’ wut ole’ Nascar’s always done, since I wus a baby, ‘n since my daddy wus a baby, ‘n so on.  He’s always done that, ‘n he’ll always git over it.  Don’t worry ’bout him.”

“So?  How about you do something nice for the old guy, and break that cycle of depression, Tater?  Be the hero Nascar needs and help him out a bit, you think?”

“Yeah I guess so.  I did see a nice lookin’ blender in the wanted ads he can make friends with…”

“I’m talking about a SERIOUS relationship for the robot, Tater!”

“OK, OK, FINE.  Go git mah cellphone.”

“Why did yew two old farts wake me up at two in the morning and want me out on the porch for?!  Actually, I’m scared to know, so don’t answer that.”

“Oh shut it, yew ole’ tin can.  Me ‘n Ken decided to do something nice fur ya and we gawt ya something… it should be here any second now actually…”

“I think you’re really going to like it, Nascar.”

*Stray dog ruining my shots by sleeping on the porch, what’s with all the photobombing lately?!*

“Hello!  Is this 31 Spooner St?  Haha, get it, that’s a Family Guy reference.  I actually don’t watch that show!  But anyway, I’m your new housemate!  Which one of you nice gents called up for a robot companion?”

“UM, UM, UH…”

“Come on, Tater, let’s go on to bed now, I’m sure Nascar can show our new friend around ;)”

“Sure thing, Ken!”

“Nascar, huh?  that’s a strange name!  I’m Veronica, and it’s so nice to meet another simbot like you around!  It’s been so long since I’ve seen a friendly face!”

“UM, UH, BUH BUH BUH…”

“What’s the matter, rust got your tongue?!  Ha ha, get it because we are simbots!  I get rust all the time.”

“D8”

And we leave this chapter on this note, until next time…