I wonder if anyone anticipated me doing a Fourth of July special here
Because, haha, nope
“‘Bout fuckin’ time.”
But considering that he was Bear’s only friend, and being friendless is so much sadder, I made him go make up with Tal 😀
Bear is still suffering some kind of weird, I-don’t-have-romantic-social-options bullshit, which, despite the fact that I’m not setting him up with anyone yet, is really concerning me. I blame his unflirty trait, even though he still can’t even flirt with his bestest of best friends (AKA Tal), and I might trade it out for Diva or Loves the Outdoors or Bitch or something later.
“I’m nawt really sure how I’m crossin’ mah legs successfully in this dress, but as lawng’ as it ain’t obstuctin’ my ability to watch TV, I don’t care.”
“Yew broke the TV, girl?! That wus onna’ my only friends in this house!! *headlock*”
I think Nascar is just looking for any excuse for violence now.
“I’d enjoy this more if those damn horses’ stop backin’ their asses onto the back of my head!”
“Please do take a bath after this, Sugar.”
Oh no Mariah, that makes you look crazy, sweetie.
“BAW, that sounds like how <insert manface’s name> used to keep me waiting, oh SOB!”
“Aw, flowers! You shouldn’t have, Lady!”
“WHAT THE FU-“
“Ah, boyfrien’ who left me standin’ at the prom doors wid no date last week, I’m happy to see you are still able to show ur face in town after that stunt! But I furgive yew, ‘n heer’s a gift to show it, I promise it won’t explode ‘r anythin’ when you try to open it :)”
“Um, ok, thanks?”
At least CT knows how to put her foot down in relationships better than Lady does.
Yeah yeah, Tal, get out of the way, important milestone going down over here.
“I just wish to age gracefully, because you’re wasting your wishes, Tater!”
“Wut?! I thought we had decided to make this a family tradition!”
“Well it’ll probably be better than the snuff you keep spitting everywhere.”
“NO BLADDER! I will NAWT go to the bathroom fur yew! It’s my boyfrien’s birthday ‘n by hell’r high water I ain’t missin’ it fur a piss break!”
“It’s tradition! I ain’t ashamed of it!”
“Am I… standing in robot piss?!”
Yes, it’s one of Gracie’s ugly neanderthal kids 😀
“Caveman get pretty woman now?!”
I regret nothing!
“That’s cool, because I wasn’t going to explain anything anyway.”
“What, of COURSE I’d show up, Lady, and I promise I wasn’t plannin’ on doin’ anything to this horse’s butt, no sir’ee!”
“Really?! Even after I was, oh nevermind! Oh Lady, I will!”
Bella: *farts and ruins photo*
“I… didn’t want to hear that.”
“Yeah um, Marvin… no one wants to hear about that, ok?”
“I don’t want her, man! Stop screaming at me!”
“I am gonna cry now.”
I’m not sure how they are cousin’s either.
“I’d say control your cousin, Taylor, but I’ve been standing in my cousin’s pee all day so…”
“Caveman happy pretty woman like caveman! Does caveman get mating dance now?!”
“Yew will sweetie, I promise!
“Can yall please nawt talk ’bout this junk in the kitchen guys?! I wus eatin’ in here.”
“Still in the shot, still don’t wanna hear all this…”
“Yay fur us then!”
“Still photobombin’, in case anyone’s furgotten, I’M the damn heiress, nawt her ‘r Lady…”
Yes Dolly, your time will come.
“‘N I think it’s time well spent.”
So I just moved her out for the elbow room. I will miss her, she was pretty, but she was boring too. Maybe she’ll find some one out there to date or something.
“… Well then yew ain’t no grandson of mine then!”
That’s sad because it’s true XD
Who doesn’t want to get married in their living room?
“What’s the matter my sweethearts?”
“Our grooms are missin’! Tay didn’t even show up during the invitations, and we can’t find CT’s stupid caveman anywhere!”
That’s getting to be a massive pain in the ass and plan ruiner
Nascar: *bitch slaps cowplant with a fish*
“Um, no? I’m married.”
Maybe because you have four kids with four different men?! Yeah, I think that’s the reason.
“Daddy, CT won’t stop bein’ inappropriate.”
“Not really a shocker, Dolly.”
“‘N now that my own fiance has finally refound the lot, me and Tay shall git married now! Yay!”
“What’s wrong Lady? Are you that happy to get married to me?”
“It’s nawt that, it’s that yew didn’t wear the cute little tuxedo I picked out for yew! This is kinda ruinin’ mah weddin’ Tay!”
Nascar: “Yeah because gettin’ married in the livin’ room is ur big idea fur a fancy weddin’, I’m sure, Lady.”
“Well most of them, Tater, seeing as Sugar won’t leave the TV alone to talk to anyone else.”
“It’s cool man, at least yew showed up, seein’ as Mack lives right fuckin’ next door and can’t get off his ass to accept our invitation to mah sister’s weddin’s.”
“How strange, I hate outside too! That’s so neat, Taylor!”
“Hey Tater, our daughter Dolly is talking to that cute little pink haired boy! Maybe she’s already decided on someone! Yay! I really like this kid!”
“Daddy, oh mah gawd, be nice!”
“Jeez sir! Calm down! I haven’t really done anything to get this kinda treatment :(“
“Yeah, thanks old timer, like I wanted to be reminded that my hair is made out of cotton candy >:I”
“I’m sorry sweetie, they do that all the time. That’s just the kind of weird stuff you have to get used to ’round here.”
“Hey Dolly, want some cake?!”
“Um, no Lady, I’m good.”
“Don’t yew have anything better to do than to CONSTANTLY get in my way, Lady?!”
Lady, CT, Tay, and Marvin were kicked out right after the party. They all went to live with Sugar and her television, and hopefully they will start popping out youngin’s soon.
“Yeah… weddings were nice, Tater…”
“Not in the mood Bella… Can’t you see I’m depressed as it is? I’m going to bed.”
“So? How about you do something nice for the old guy, and break that cycle of depression, Tater? Be the hero Nascar needs and help him out a bit, you think?”
“Yeah I guess so. I did see a nice lookin’ blender in the wanted ads he can make friends with…”
“I’m talking about a SERIOUS relationship for the robot, Tater!”
“OK, OK, FINE. Go git mah cellphone.”
“Oh shut it, yew ole’ tin can. Me ‘n Ken decided to do something nice fur ya and we gawt ya something… it should be here any second now actually…”
“I think you’re really going to like it, Nascar.”
*Stray dog ruining my shots by sleeping on the porch, what’s with all the photobombing lately?!*
“Hello! Is this 31 Spooner St? Haha, get it, that’s a Family Guy reference. I actually don’t watch that show! But anyway, I’m your new housemate! Which one of you nice gents called up for a robot companion?”
“UM, UM, UH…”
“Come on, Tater, let’s go on to bed now, I’m sure Nascar can show our new friend around ;)”
“Sure thing, Ken!”
“UM, UH, BUH BUH BUH…”
“What’s the matter, rust got your tongue?! Ha ha, get it because we are simbots! I get rust all the time.”
And we leave this chapter on this note, until next time…