If You Could Redo Your Past Over and Over

Before we begin, I would just like to say a few words about my game.  You see, ever since I started my rainbowcy, I haven’t had a single crash on that town since it started.  Ok, maybe one or two I don’t even remember, if I pushed my computer too hard (which isn’t really a lot to push), but virtually crashless anyway.

The timeline of this chapter by itself has seen eight crashes.  And counting.  Last chapter saw only two or so, but this is ridiculous now.  I can’t figure out what the hell is going on, and the events of this chapter have been repeated so many times I just want to pull out my own teeth or something less painful than this repetition.  I’m moving along.  Just at a very short pace.

So anyway, on to the chapter.

By the way, I “fixed” the problem last chapter where the toddlers couldn’t be interacted with.  All I have to do is restart the game every time it happens D| which doesn’t matter, it’s going to crash anyway.  Thank god for the swings.

HAHA, your mom died.

Oh wait…

“Yay, the cowplant killed grammaw!”

Someone is way too happy to see the death of the last maternal figure in the family…

“Are you riding on my offspring, little green urchin?!  Do you WANT to see your grandmother again or something?!”

“I’m getting off now :(”

Let’s see, some new simselves were added, oh, er, simself.  This is Puddin, and she got stuck in Hetty’s old cat house on the outskirts of town.  She would have had simself roomies, like Andy, or Mickey, or Sacha, or all the other simselves my game says it’s successfully “installed” for me, but is really shitting on all my hopes and wishes.

So she gets a Skyrim-ish orc roommate instead |D

I’ve gotten mad stupid.

“Ok horse.  I want to complete my LTW at some fricking point, and you have two race related wishes since your turning of age, so we have to try to at least put or differences behind us if we have any hopes for our goals.”

“Yeah fine, bring me a meaty offering and I will consider letting you ride me successfully, mortal human.”

“How about a carrot?”

“Fine.  We can be friends now.”

*CRASH*

“How about a carrot?”

“FUCK YOU KEN.”

Aw, look.  It wants to be a real girl!

Probably hell no.

“Hey Lady.  Look, I know you and your sister are probably suffering over the recent destruction and death of your grandmother but…”

“Wait, why would I care about Bella’s death?”

“Yeah pops, that’s wut I figgur’d.”

Dolly’s fairing a little better over Bella’s death.  Then again, she doesn’t have school to also focus her saddness on, seeing as Bella died on a friday night.  At least she did something right for once and died on the weekend.

“YAY, a happy childhood memory fur me!”

No memories in my game, Dolly.

“Ok… YAY I’m naked!”

“‘N now I’m sad again, ‘cus grammaw wus the only one who’d text me, see how my day wus goin’, how to creep up on cute guys in my gym class…”

Yeah, really good thing she’s gone now…

Dolly’s sad poopy death filled childhood soon came to an end, as she had a pretty good birthday surrounded by family and friends and Nascar.

“I am still distraught over the death of my love.”

You two bumped uglies only once Nascar, how could you even think you two were in love?!

“Oh wow!  A party guest actually found the front door in time fur my cakin’!  This really is a gud birthday fur me!”

AND THEN…

“…Oh crap Tater, PLEASE tell me our little girl is going to pop out of this in a second…”

“She should… any second now… ANY SECOND NOW…”

“Haha, that’s damn funny right thur.”

And finally, after what I was sure was going to be another crash, but wasn’t, thankfully, Dolly grew up right, and I have never been more pleased.

Even if she knows she’s pretty and all that now that she’s snobbish.  Proud trailer trash, yes.

“Well hello there pretty little lady!  Why, come here and give ole’ Rico a hug, I might even have some candy for you!”

“I’m so damn uncomfortable right now that I’m going to block the front door…”

“YAHOO HEADBUTT”

“OW what the HELL man!  I think you broke my skull!”

“You shall not creep on little children while I’m around, you freak!”

“Yeah, I saved that little girl.  I’m so proud of myself.”

“AH DUDE GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF MY SKULL, I’VE LEARNED MY LESSON”

The pervert somehow got away from the porch crowd and got in the house (please get away from him, Lady) and Dolly had hardly finished her cake when a prom announcement came up, which I find to be jumping the gun a bit, game.

“So papa, can I go?!  It sounds like so much fun from the five minutes I’ve been of age!”

“Hm… considerin’ that ur only 13ish or so… hell no.”

“Hey look!  I had a job, and no one knew it because I’ve been pregnant since the day I came here!”

Um… for what?

“I’m a music fan!”

In a sweater?

“Well, I can’t wear a torn white tee to a gospel choir.”

Oh, I see.

“Hello?  Oh Tal, I haven’t heard from YEW inna’ long time!  Wut yew been up to, man?  You had a kid?  With a woman?!  Oh gawd, please tell me she consented… she did?!  And she MARRIED YOU *crash* She’s still LIVING WITH YOU?!  A simself woman?!  Lucky sonuvabitch.  I mean, good for yew?  Me?  My lovelife?  …I gotta go man, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Sigh, I’m never gonna have a love life…”

You will, eventually!  I promise!

Um.  The party’s over Rico.  Please go away.

“But your horse has such a nice buttocks”

“PLEASE MAKE HIM GO AWAY”

“Hello!  Look at me!  I’m so cute and fluffy and you just want to bury your face in my fluff and talk about my ittle bittle feet, don’t you!  Won’t you adopt me?”

Oh I would!  I would adopt and love and rename you Flareon and recolor you and LOVE AND CUTENESS AND HAPPY RAINBOWS OF ADORABLE YOUR FACE

“NAWT IN MAH HOUSE YEW LIL LAPDOG”

And then half a second later Cletus reduced him to a limp rag and I cried myself to sleep that night.

IT’S THREE IN THE MORNING

GET THE FUCK OFF MY LOT

“But your youngest little girl!  I can hear her!  And I want to hold her and cuddle her”

RUN INTO AN ELECTRIC FENCE

“So papa!  I know it’s still a lil early fur me to go to prom, but I really want to go!  I know I’m 13, but I promise I’ll be safe, and stick with girlfriends, and avoid spiked drinks and will come in early that night!  Won’t yew let me go?”

“Now that yew put it that way, sure.”

*CRASH”

“Now that yew put it that way, sure.”

*CRASH*

“Dammit Dolly, I don’t care how safe yew think ur gonna be, yew are too damn young, in there are perverts out in this town-”

Rico: “LOL I’m still here”

“-and yew still don’t know anything about the datin’ scene, ‘n I ain’t gonna let my lil’ girl become some toy fur some 17 year old hop head wid’ a crotch rocket!  I hate those motorcycles.”

“Dad, that’s not fair at all now…”

“I just want to know why the little girl is crying”

OMG FALL IN A HOLE RICO but that is a good question.  Why is Sugar crying?

“WAAH MY UNCLE BEAR IS A DICK”

“Don’t luk’it me!  I didn’t do anything, I’m in here readin’ a lil’ night night story to Lady.”

Considering Dolly and Tater are fighting in the yard, and Nascar is asleep, with you being the only other person in the house, who else could it have been, Bear?!

“Sigh, we are running low on foods supply Bella… so get the hell out of my way.”

“I don’t THINK so, Lynyrd!  Ever hear of chivalry?  Ladies first, you jackass.”

“But I’m the oldest, and I should get the first dibs!  Back off, I called it!”

“GO SUCK ON THE COWPLANT, DIPTARD”

As I mentioned before, there have been all the crashes and stuff.  And seeing how there were a lot of the crashes around the time of Ora Mae and Dolly’s birthday, I thought that Ora was causing the crashes, with her glitchy grow up sequences that effected the whole household and the long drawn out age up animations that went on way too long.  So I killed her.

“Did it work?  Did killing me make the crashes go away?”

Didn’t even faze them.

“Then in that case, I’m glad to be back by your side, Dolly!”

“Sigh… git ur hand off me.”

“So Sheld’n!  I saw you at my second attempt at a birthday party ‘n I thought, ‘I’d like to talk to dat boy’ so I came over, ‘n now I wanna know wut’s ur sign?”

“Oh, um, I’nno, haha”

Le Sheldon’s proud parents:

“Dammit, all my kids are white as hell!  I swear that ho cheated on me, oh SOB”

“Um, Zac, Sheldon looks just like you in the face.  Why are you questioning your parentage still?!  Idiot…”

“Sheld’n, I think you are the cutest boy in this town so far.  Wanna come wid a gurl like me to the prom in a coupla’ days…?”

“Haha, sure, I’d love to!”

*CRASH*

“Why not, I have nothing better to do that night!”

*CRASH*

“I’d LOVE to!  This is going to be so much fun-”

*MOTHER FUCKING CRASH*

DAMMIT GAME, STOP FIGHTING ME

It took four trips to the Whipsnake’s house to notice that it’s called the Midden-Skehrer’s for a reason.

“Hello Mrs. Sarah.  I’ve had a burnin’ question I’ve been meanin’ to ask yew since I noticed yew lived here now.  How’s it feel knowin’ ya have 3-5 kids, ‘n none of them live here with yew ‘r ur husband?”

“Oh don’t worry about my kids, little lady!  I sure don’t!  Haha!”

.___.

I was curious, and looked around town for a bit trying to find all her kids, and only found two of them, both by her current husband, but instead of taking them with her when they got married, they are now living with Dan.  Poor Dan.  Forced to take care of Sarah’s babies by another man once again.  I think all the stress has caused him to grow chick hair, because that’s a style I don’t even have converted, Dan ._.

“It’s ok!  Because I’m looking for an orphanage as we speak!  But I’m looking for a good orphanage, one where the care takers will take care of them and let them grow up knowing that there’s love in the world, in a city without thieves to tempt them into a bad life… or dragons…”

You’re playing Skyrim, aren’t you?

“It may be in a window off to the side or something…”

Speaking of such, I tried giving Lady a fun childhood.

Here she is playing tag with the orc.

“I swear fur a split second she unshethed her sword…”

“Hey there papa!  I gawt somethin’ to tell yew.  Now, I know yew said I couldn’t go to the prom ‘cus I was too yung’n stuff, but I found a guy, and he’s real nice ‘n all, ‘n seein’ as I’ve talked to him at least four times by now, yew GOTTA let me go to the prom now, please?!”

“Sigh, did yew NAWT hear a word I said the other day yesterday probably five concecutive minutes ago ’bout that damn prom?!  Ur too young, too immature, and yew hardly know anyone from ur high school yet anyway!  I’d rather set mahself on fire than hear any more business ’bout this and that’s THAT, Dolly!”

“Ur nawt bein’ FAIR!  Grammaw told me ’bout the time YEW snuck out to ur prom!  If she were heer, she’d let me go to it!”

“Yeah ‘n I bet ur grammaw wouldn’t have a problem wid all dem lil hornytoads handsin’ all over ya either!  They never caught that Rico kid, Dolly!  They NEVER CAUGHT HIM!”

I don’t know, Tater might have a point there…

Speaking of young children…

Oh, there you are, still hanging out with the orc ._. I should really save the game when you get back to the house before a crash sends you back here with her or something.

I see the horses are finally out of feed altogether now.

“Mmm, newspaper.  Perfect source of fiber and political scandal.”

Aw Bear.  Why so grumpy?  I love gwumpy Bear.  Da so cute n gumpy gumpy HAPPY RAINBOWS

“I’m pissed off because yew won’t let me do mah fav’rite thing to do in this hawse.  Ur like a damn cell guard ’round this place these days.”

What the hell are you talking about, Bear?

Oh.

Yes, well.

NO, LEAVE HER ALONE D:<

Then I got tired of all the crashes.  Here’s Dolly getting taught to drive by Tater, and getting way too enthusiastic about it.

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DOLLY, BACK UP!  BACK UP OH FUGGIN HELL”

Actually technically the last thing that happened in the game was Lynyrd eating paper, so Dolly doesn’t know how to drive.  She will probably crash into the ice cream truck again next time, and probably one more time after that…  but how will she fair at prom (if we get to it)?!  How will the toddlers grow up (if we get to it)?!  Will Lady be corrupted by the orc and all that is Dovahkiin or will she finally come home (if we get to it)?!

Usually I’d play a little bit of sims after I post a chapter or so, kind of a after post celebration play.  But… because of all the crashes, I just don’t feel it tonight.

It’s so discouraging.

I’m going to go look up videos of cats now.

About missmiserie

I make sims legacies and update them once every other blood moon :)
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41 Responses to If You Could Redo Your Past Over and Over

  1. D: Crashes are a big pain in the ass! I’m sorry about all your trouble. :/

    Still, this chapter was freaking hilarious. And that telephone conversation with Tallahassee had me facepalming at myself again. Oh, simself.

    Lol, Bear has issues with the baby swing!

    I’ve got high hopes for the girls of this generation! Hopefully we won’t have any more Mt. Dews!

    Aw. Cat videos heal the cracks in the heart.

    I’m starting to sound like an old cat lady.

    • missmiserie says:

      If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Once this problem is solved, all sims will probably spontaneously combust or something.

      I think you an Tal were also due for another baby, but it might have been killed in a crash. Don’t know yet.

      I AM an old cat lady.

  2. Maybe you should make a new save file for them. That worked when I had those crazy crashes.

  3. Poor you. I’ve noticed my game crashing a lot lately as well, and the only thing that I’ve added is the cowplant. Maybe it’s retribution for abandoning them in Sims 2 with only Nervous Subject and the Curious brothers for company?!

    Hilarious as usual 🙂

    • missmiserie says:

      Oh poo, I hope it’s not the cowplant D: I don’t want to have to delete it… (of course if I do have to, its ok because I’ve already used it for what I wanted it for <_<

  4. sachaxbeswick says:

    I am making a new sim self now, CC free, except for the hair, which you can find here…. Hope fully it will show in game because of lack of CC 🙂
    oh, and I haven’t forgotten to put the link this time…. Im still making her, will have her to you in 30 mins ish 🙂
    xxx

  5. sachaxbeswick says:

    Okay, my simself is done, Here is the link, and I figured out why the old simself isn’t showing up in game.

    I was searching through my folders, and found 3 package files, all called hbdfvghjabdhab.package or whatever. Anyway, because of my private eye style detective skills, I traced them back to my old simself. So basically, the package I gave you was only a quarter of my simself. Lol

    This simself is only one package ( Thank god, I dont really do things like this, so it just confudged me) and although its a little too attractive to be me hahaha, its supposed to be me, so, here you go : http://www.mediafire.com/?pp23p4lba4zpwv5

    Thanks, hope to see her next chapter. I feel your pain about the crashes. I played sims on my laptop for a while, it ran like a dream for the first few weeks, but then computer said no and I basically had all the same problems as you. I retreated back to the family’s desktop, which runs a little better. 😦 I want a gaming laptop… too bad im broke.

    xxxxx

    • missmiserie says:

      Alright! Let’s try this again then…

      • sachaxbeswick says:

        YAY You replied hehehehe!!!! I’m sick with flu, so im kinda just playing sims etc.

        anyway, since you are online, does this mean a new update is nigh? 8D
        MuchLoveAndHugs 🙂
        Sacha
        xx

      • missmiserie says:

        Not sure yet about an update soon. I just got the town “working” again, and this week is going to be hell on my schedule 😦

      • Sachaxbeswick says:

        Awww. But no worries, if your busy, we’ll wait. At least your actually still checking up, haha, starsarah left without telling us for 3 months, but I recently received a message telling us she’d be back soon… I hope so xxx hahaha x

  6. Simsnewbie23 says:

    Sorry about the game borking on you. =( And for something funny, you should check out someecards.com, that has so really funny stuff!

  7. http://www.tigerdirect.com/applications/SearchTools/item-details.asp?EdpNo=1366238&Sku=T70-150045

    Tigerdirect is a good place to look for things like this. I know it’s hard on a college budget, but if the thing needs replaced, this might do it.

  8. StyxLady says:

    Gaaah all the crashes, I’m sorry. >< I hate them with a passion. Oh man, that Rico…talk about creepy! *shudder* I hope Dolly gets to go to prom!

  9. Gargantua says:

    For the love of Pat, someone feed the horses!! They are like termites. You stop giving them hay, then they move on to newspapers. You run out of newspapers, and they eat your wooden siding. Once that was all gone, you might be able to teach them to eat the town pervs, especially the ones that have been admiring their buttocks. 🙂

    Dolly is beautiful. Hopefully Tater will relent and let her go to the prom. But if she doesn’t get to go, hopefully someone will convince her it isn’t the end of the world and she commit suicide by ice cream truck.

    The first thing I thought of when I saw Ken in his cardigan sweater was Mr. Rogers. 🙂

    • missmiserie says:

      I hope she gets to go to prom too, after a couple more crashes I stopped seeing the “wanna go to prom with me” options, so I don’t know what’s going to happen on the game’s next tuesday 😦

      Well it wasn’t a lovely day in the neighborhood, I can say that XP

  10. Madcapp says:

    Poor Bear. I’ll make sure he has a lovelife in my game. Ooohhh yes I will. Mmmhmm, what a lovelife.
    Wait what? /looks guilty

    Jealous Cletus. 😀

    That pedo bear guy was scary though. LOL But awesome to see creeping your lot.. as wrong as that sounds.

    The poor horses, it’s the apocalypse! No more hay! They’ll have to eat the cowplant. 😀

    Is it just me or is Dolly CONSTANLY slouching?
    Also, I love the Skyrim orc. Her armor rocks!

    I hope you can sort out the crashing. 😦 That sucks.

  11. madlyeely says:

    Damn, Dolly got hot. I can see Tater’s eyes on her, what about the rest of her face?

    Sheldon is kind of scary-looking, as much as I like his paedo-stache. I hope Appaloosa has a bit more to offer up. Still, he totally has the family background for it, aging meth zombie hooker mother and whatnot.

    • missmiserie says:

      I think she has Ken’s nose, but the lips are a mystery. Considering no one on the Secksie sides has lips like hers, they have to be from Ken’s but Ken’s lips aren’t that full out either :\

      Sheldon is scary, but I oddly like him. Not really for prettacy material, but if this is the best the town has, I am willing to work with it. It would be sad if that is all this town has. There are a few more toddlers. I’m keeping my eyes open.

  12. Monkey Buns says:

    I feel your pain. Sort of… Not as bad… I just have to play from my last backed up save point. I also have to redownload all my shit. It really sucks I was starting to get you to be Gwen’s bitch 😀 Eman was like 90 days at the end of his bar. I hate him >_< I have no reason to hate him but I do… except for when he babysits on free will HE DOES NOTHING actually he plays chess and lets the kids scream. Your simself is a lesbo in my game. I really want your simself as Gwen's bitch… XD and your simself hates my children. Or at least she did I don't know what your status is in my old save. So fun fun I'm going to download all your legacy sims now…

    • missmiserie says:

      Oh dear XD

      My simself does hate children but I always have her pumping out kids anyway in my game ._. maybe it just goes to show you that’s my luck, she tends to attract them like flies to honey or something I donno lol

  13. Monkey Buns says:

    Ooo also can you give me a link to the orc woman to download I loves her…

  14. I always read your blog when I need a laugh 🙂
    Please if you get time check mine out.

  15. hey, its sacha
    I started a new prettacy today, its called the burg prettacy, would you mind checking it out?
    xxxx

  16. liezemies says:

    I loved the orc reading to Lady! So funny.

  17. Senny Paine says:

    So glad that I’m not the only one that looks at videos of cats when Sims 3 [or anything else] decides to be a bitch. My husband gets all “wtf” when I’m like “Well, time for the cat videos.” He doesn’t understand me. 😦

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