Slumber Parties Giveth and Taketh Away

Hello and I’m back again, done with the poll and ready to move on with the Secksies.  The poll announced Tater as our winner for this generation, beating out Mt. Dew pretty badly, and more or less leaving her heart broken about her pitiful looks.

“Sabrina, why is Sarah Jessica Parker asleep on our couch?”

“Oh, let her sleep Sabrian, she’s had it hard lately.  No one loves her right now and she looked so pitiful standing and crying in our knocked over trashcan trash, so I let her in the house.  And don’t diss Sarah Jessica Parker, I thought she was awesome in Hocus Pocus.”

Anyway, I would just like to say that it was on this day one year ago I started my first Secksie chapter 😀  So this is kind of like a little anniversary chapter!  (Someone asked me if I was going to do a 9/11 decade anniversary chapter, but it had completely slipped my mind to do something Secksie related for the occasion.  Oops.  Oh well, I went to a picnic.)

To be honest though, this isn’t really a special chapter because of the anniversery, but instead, it’s supposed to be more of a character chapter.  For Bear.

I felt that he needed some attention anyway.  After all, I wanted him, but then like a python that got too big for it’s owner to handle, I released him within three miles of a chicken farm started ignoring him.  Hell, even Mt. Dew got more attention than he did.

So while we wait for our heir Tater to spend the rest of his teen years sucking face with Luther, and while Mt. Dew stands in a corner, Bella looks for aliens, Pat works on his crappy garden, and Dale continuously blows himself up in the barn, we spend at least a little time with our little ghost buddy.  At least for a little while.

Before a certain SOMEONE derails the whole chapter in the end.

Annnnyway, as figured, Bear didn’t have friends his own age.  The only kid he knew was Lee, and after wishing for a slumber party for his whole childhood, he had one the day before his birthday.

Lee spent the whole night beating the crap out of him with a pillow.

“Yew don’t play fair at all!  Wut’yew got in dat pilla’ of urs, bricks?!”

“Hey, what can I say, I’m the son of an evil prick.”

He did have one friend, his papa Pat, which I found really ironic and sad.

“G’nite, mah poor unfurtunate son… if I could jus’ go back in time ‘n make yew wid’ normerl’ people genes so yew could have friends, I would :(”

Stop depressing me, Pat!

Which might explain why a while before the slumber party happened, Pat went out and got his son a gift.

“Bear!  Jus’ the lil buddy I wanted to see befur’ yew went to bed.  Pops thought ’bout yew havin’ a hard time makin’ friends at school, so I went out ‘n used my seldom mentioned klepter’mainyac powers to git yew a lil buddy wid the same problem yew gawt!”

“…Yew stole me a dead person?”

“Yeah, now ain’t dat gonna be cute!  Yall gonna be a matchin’ set!”

“…”

*Shakes box*

“Pops, this ain’t no corpse!  This is dat Jeff Fawxwurthy bug Great-Great-Gramma Ambur caught a hundred years ago!”

“Yeah well the game seems to have a problem wid’ people giftin’ dead children to other people, so heer’s a prop gift while I sneak this kid into your inventory.”

“Um, gee… thanks pops.”

The gifting actually happened a while ago, and it took almost Bear’s whole childhood for his “friend” to make an appearance.

Opal didn’t appear until the night of the slumber party.  Thanks for taking your sweet time Opal, Shark has regenerated at least three times before you even showed up.

“Hi, I’m Bear!  I’ve been sleepin’ in a tree hawse every night waitin’ fur the night yew’d finally come outta hidin’!”

“Oh… dear, wow, that sounds exactly like what Tragic Clown told me before he held me down under that pool ._.”

“Way to make our first meetin’ depressin’.”

“Damn, you have a nice house though!”

“Thanks!  It’s a double wide cuz we fancy like dat!”

While they spent five good hours playing a game of Ghost Tag (trust me, it’s boring and slow to watch with one ghost playing, much less two floating around) Tallahassee, Bear’s IF couldn’t figure out what was going on with his best friend.

“I don’t understand, he left me alone with that Lee kid in the living room… to play a game with someone else who isn’t me?  What’s going on here and why am I left out of it?”

Oh stop that Tal, it’s YOUNG LOVE

“Well I don’t like it >:I”

“NINJA KICK!  WOOOYAH BUDDY”

Then he broke his arm or something like that.  I don’t know.  This is the first time I caught a sim floating around with that thing.

“Bitch please, yew want floating, I’ll give it too ya!  Check me out, I’m like onna dem possessed chicks frum the movies!  Don’t ya jus’ love me yet?!”

Mt. Dew, you are really trying too damn hard.

“8(”

“Da fuck’s goin’ on in my livin’ room boy?!”

“Calm down pops, I’m just tellin’ my new friend a ghost story.  To us it’s just an autobiography wid’ flashlights.”

“LOL.  Auto-mo-bio-biles.  Wait, those ARE cars right?”

“Yo, wat up?”

“Oh, is it the science peoples calling to make me a functioning person in society?  I’m so tired of floating around in this glitch keeping me from going back to my grave :(”

Ha, the glitch is what helped me get Bella and Shark together 😀  I hate that glitch though D:<

“Well, is it Bear?!  Is it, is it, is it is it isitisitisitisitISIT?!”

“Gurl shut up, man’s on the phone now, damn!”

“Yep, that’s my grandson, alright!”  (LOL no he isn’t.)

And then Bear got cake.

“YAAAAY”

And then Opal proceeded to freak the fuck out over the damn cake too.

“WHAT!  B-B-BIRTHDAY CAKE?!  NO!  I was KILLED at a birthday party!  Over a damn cake too!  HISTORY WILL REPEAT ITSELF AND THERE WILL BE BLOOD!”

“Um, naw, I think it’s chocolate.”

“And I, Bear’s faithful friend that has never left his side, is also growing up!  Over here guys!”

“…”

“Um, well, you will notice me growing up, right Mt. Dew?”

“…”

“Hold it, why’s there a damn tella’tubby standin’ in my kitchen?!”

“What the crap man, you aren’t supposed to be able to see me!”

“Kid, there was a ‘gas leak’ in the barn earlier today.  I can see EVERYTHANG right now.”

“HAH, I love to walk into the room wid cake jus’ to watch her do that!”

And you really can’t be mad at him because of that puppy dog look of his.  STOP THAT TATER

“NOOO, MY BIRTHDAY KILLED MY ONLY FRIEND!  WHY GAWD WHY?!”

Chill man, she’s just tired.

“Chapter one of ‘Do I Exist?’ I was floatin’ through a field of flowers ‘n clouds ‘n could hear my mother callin’ me in the distance…”

“Usually kids are read happier books like finger painting 101 or Special Snowflake.”

“Trust me Opal.  Grampy Shark liked to get aholda’ smut ‘n read it too us.  This is way better than the story ’bout the whale hunter’s dawghter…”

When Bear kissed Opal goodnight, I squealed from the cuteness.   Then I told myself, “…That’s a little creepy.”  I don’t know, I’m borderlining here.

It’s cuter than what Mt. Dew does, YOUR ACT IS GETTING OLD DEWIE

“But!  The hawse!  I can’t get to it ‘n I blame mah gramma Debbie back there!”

Deborah: “Whua?”

“Oh hi there Bella!  I’ve come for the child support!”

“Meh, I don’t claim them things, go get it from Shark or something.”

“But… Shark’s not the babies daddy, I checked!”

“Don’t you have a mushroom to sleep on or something somewhere?”

Needless to say, Rochelle stomped off the property before Bella could even get her dumbass off the telescope.

“Wee!  Isn’t this fun?  I like this, Opal, you play nice!  I’m so excited that I grew a horn!”

“WHAT”

“Outta mah hair.”

“Oh Opal, did I ever mention to you, my imaginary friend Tallahassee?”

“Yes… you’ve mentioned that… CLOWNISH thing to me before…”

“Whoa wait, what was that bitch?!  I’ll drop kick you!”

“Oh gawd, I’m so sorry Opal, I furgot how much you hate clown things!  I promise I won’t bring up Tallhassee ever again!  Can yew ever forgive me?”

“Hm, I GUESS I can forgive you just this once, so long as you get rid of him already.”

“Oooh, sounds like someone’s gettin’ replaced…”

“SHUT UP MT. DEW YOU DIDN’T EVEN WIN HEIRSHIP”

“8(”

“So what, that’s it?!  You just going to give up on our friendship just like that?!  All those years I spent with you, by your side, when those kids bullied you and teased you and I was the only one who cared, and THIS is how you are going to end it?!”

“…”

“FINE.  I see how it is, Bear.”

It was no surprise when this soon showed up in notifications afterwards.

And then Bear got the Oh my Ghost!  Opportunity.  About time someone did, after all, Shark is friends with EVERYONE except Dale, so I don’t know why I didn’t even see it sooner.  HOWEVER, as a lazy slacker I am, I’m trained to cancel them out as soon as they show up because they are usually nothing I’m intrested in.

AND SO I DIDN’T GET IT

And so fustrated, I grew Opal up in the armchair.

“That’s ok!  This way I don’t get a birthday party.  This is so much better!  I love this!  Yippee!”

Bloaty: “…N-no cake scraps for MEEEE? D:”

What the piss Mt. Dew?!  What the hell prompted you to even stand NEAR the outhouse?

“I don’t know, but those flowers are in my way… I jus’ guess the bus is gonna have’ta go widout me today too…”

GREAT, WE ARE BACK TO THIS CRAP, DEWIE.  ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF?!

“Why can’t anyone understand it’s nawt mah fault…”

“Ew.  Gross.  I do nawt approve of the boy’s infatuation wid the lil’ blue gurl.  Can yew imagine the woohoo?  It’ll be all blue ‘n watery ‘n they’ll keep floatin’ the wrong body parts into each other…”

Dammit Shark, don’t talk about teenage woohoo, it’s not happening >:I  And you are such a butt nugget anyway, so who cares about your opinion.

Bear’s FATHER actually thinks it’s very sweet of them.

“I think my son findin’ love wid the lil’ friend I gave him is damn near ‘dorable.  And to think I set them up.  I’m bout as proud of this as I am groundin’ Dewie.”

“And I have a tongue piercin’, Opal… if yew had one, think the same princa’ple applies?”

“I want to find out, but at the same time, I don’t want to?”

And then Tater threw a last teen slumber party before his birthday the next day.  Everything was good before I was torn away from watching the kids render their sleeping bag textures to see this horror in the trailer’s kitchen…

“I’m jus’ tired of this world!  No one loves me, I’m neglected ‘n treated like shit.  I’ve decided to kill myself ‘n end this misery.”

WHAT?!  No, don’t do it Mt. Dew!  You have so much to live for!  You were going to grow up, and marry Elissa’s son Mack and your babies were supposed to be cuter than Tater’s and I was going to get pissed off, and THIS ISN’T FAIR!  You can’t go now!!  The SHOWER!  HEAD TOWARDS THE LIGHT… IN THE BATHROOM!

“WHOA WHOA WHOA!  Where did all these GHOSTS come from!  This is NAWT helpin’ mah cowardice trait!  I don’t WANNA die with fire AND shit in mah draw’rs!”

FORGET THE DAMN GHOSTS!  BATHROOM!  NOW YOUNG LADY!

“CAN’T!  The ghosts have scared me to the FOUNDATSHUN!  ‘N no ‘mount of resettin’s gonna fix this shit!”

OH GOD SOMEONE PUT HER OUT

WHY IS EVERYONE STANDING OUTSIIIIIIIIIDDDEEE

“Dammit Tater, your boyfriend is blocking the doorway to your sisters only hope of survival!”

NOOOOOOO

“Nooooo… I didn’t want to die burnin’ and drownin’ on Shark ass at the same time…”

I SWORE THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN

STOP DYING NOW, DEWIE!  I FORBID IT!

“OH NO!  My sister is burning to death!  I’ll save you, Dewie!”

It’s too late, Bear!  You are too damn stupid and too damn slow and too damn late… Dewie’s gone…

But on the bright side, HAH at where Bear’s extinquisher’s hose is coming from XD

Tallahassee: “I’m coming to join you Mt. Dew…”

LIKE HELL YOU ARE.

“Hey Dale, weren’t you a firefighter once too?”

“Yeah, and?”

“Bet you $40 this guy’s a worst firefighter than you were.”

“Ooh, I’ll take that bet.”

THEY ARE GHOSTS

WALK THROUGH THEM

ARRRUGHHHHHATGJOIJBIEASKFLSJD

“Oh no Tater, I’m so SO sorry your sister and my only daughter is dead now…”

“Oh, uh, sniff, I know…”

“If you ever need me dear… I’ll be outside on the telescope, k?”

“Sniff, ok mommy :(”

“Oh man Tater.  I’m sorry that you lost your sister… Is there anything I can do for you?  Anything you need from me, babe?”

“ARE YEW KIDDIN’?! THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT OF MAH LIFE!  My only rival to the hawse is finally GONE!  I’m so damn HAPPPYYY!! 😀 😀 😀 :D”

“…I’m dating such a heartless asshole.”

“That was the greatest damn slumber party ever!  We will remember this party for the rest of our lives!”

“I do agree brother!  Once our parents hears about the demise of their neice, they’ll flip their shit! :D”

Remind me to never have anything to do with you two ever again.

Well, so much for the all-Bear chapter.  This is NOT how I wanted this chapter to end AT ALL.  Surely ruined everyone’s happy place.

Well maybe not Tater.

“I can’t wait fur Pets!  I’m gonna git a cat like dis lil statue Mrs. Skehrer sent us ‘n name him Mr. Tubberboon ‘n he’s gonna kick so much ass!”

No, we are getting a dog and a horse.  That’s what I’m planning for for you guys.

“…I WANNA DAMN CAT.”

NO.  We get a dog and a horse and you be happy I’m even considering letting you HAVE animals.  THE END, TATER.

“But… I wanna wittle kitty cat…”

DON’T USE THE PUPPY DOG LOOK ON ME TATER.  STOP THAT NOW.

And as for that, I end this chapter for now.  As for the next chapter, I’m planning on waiting until Tater grows up and then move everyone to the new town Pets comes with when Pets comes out (BECAUSE PETS 8D).  I also want to see what kind of sexy meat we can find and add to our Secksies (LOL poor Luther).  It’s only a month or so away now.  I can survive a month.

JUST ONE MONTH GUYS

AAARRUUUGHHHH