I’ve been meaning to post this chapter for a few days now, but every time I get on the game, it crashes, or I get destracted my CAS and/or my other legacy ideas, or the internet, or I get sick, or someone/thing else gets sick, or work, or the Sims 3 Pets comes to mind and then I don’t have the drive to play the puny little game I have until I get Pets…
Which by the way has a new trailer, anyone else seen it?
The unicorn? Yeah, that is a pretty cool animal to put in the game-
“Nawt dat damn thing! Er’body knows unicorns ain’t real, I’m talkin’ bout THIS!!”
Not quite sure what most people are really expecting from an NPC animal that will probably only give a sim a +5 moodlet, but I still want this in my game NOW.
“Pfft +5 moodlet, I’d jus’ be as happy if I can shoot it, or at least hit it wid’ the car jus’ fur something diff’rent to run over ‘sides old women ‘n kids on bikes.”
“Wut’cha doin’ there Tatur? Sum homework? Well dang, I’d join yew ‘n all this, but I plan on standin’ on the porch fur three hours aftur I put this juice box heer fur ya to clean up fur me.”
“See Dewie? That righ’ thur is why the family hates yew.”
It took two game restarts for him to return to normal but he’s fine now.
“Grandma, I was GETTIN on the bus before yew stopped me to yell at me, wut’s ur damn problem?!”
“MAH PROBLEM IS YEW LATE FUR SCHOOL, SECKSIES AREN’T LATE FUR ANYTHIN’ ‘N UR GROUNDED, NO PROM FUR YEW”
So full of craaaaap
“Wut, I’ve been baldin’ all my life, can’t a man bathe in a wig once ‘n a while?”
He then later went to the top of the barn, where he got burned in two minutes. He sucks at that thing.
“Yo man, w-what you gonna do with that fish net, h-huh?”
“Somethin’ I shoulda done a long time ago…”
“Haha, die fish die!”
(Actually, the pictures were accidentally uploaded in the wrong order showing that the fish was automatically replaced after the dying one was taken out, but I didn’t feel like reversing it by the time I noticed. Doesn’t matter, the new Sinbad IV died soon after this event anyway.)
“This is a safe surrender site.”
“Um, lady, this is a school, nawt ‘n orphanage.”
“I don’t see what you mean, DERP DERP.”
“Wut? Who’s this dumb bitch, n’ why is she lettin’ that baby starve on the ground?”
“Gud lawd, I hope to gawd dat wutever she’s lukin’ up at in the sky’s intrestin’.”
“Poor Dale. Kinna’ glad I didn’t accept his purposal… this is jus’ gonna break his lil’ heart…”
“Yeah yeah, yew were ripped off, come on already Death… befur Dale wakes up ‘n sees me gone!”
And just like Deborah wanted, Dale slept peacefully through her death, dreaming about her tasty fried chicken she was going to cook for dinner the following day (matter of fact, all the other Secksies on the lot slept through her death too. Lazy dipshits.)
“Deb-baby? Did’ja happen to find the newpaper dis mawnin’? I think I gotta fleetin’ suspecion that Edith’s obituar’ees gonna be in there ‘n… whoa wut’s this ash tray doin’ on the floor, I could’a tripped ovur this stupid thing ‘n broke mah neck!”
Poor Dale, if only you knew.
“Yes well I’m on mah way to scold yew fur a D in school! Ur right, this is a happy moment, at least for me!”
You are supposed to be cheering for her birthday, not making her life miserable!
ALL OF YOU GO AWAY AND LEAVE HER ALONE
“Jus’ come on ‘n say it, I’m UGLY!”
Nooo, not ugly… just not… what I was expecting this late in the legacy. She is going to need a makeover that’s going to take everything I got *breaks out toolbox*
(By the way, since she had such a traumatic childhood, she grew up a smoozer. I guess when she spent her whole childhood getting yelled at, the only way to make everyone happy with her is to suck up to them. Poor thing.)
The family got a gift, by the way, from the talented Sarah, which now hangs in both the trailer and the main house.
“I, personally, think this picture would look better in binary, especially that loser lookin’ guy wid the red hairOH HI Pat”
“Hmmm… remind me to kill yew later wid the hose.”
“Pa? Um… I don’t really know how to tell yew this… but ma’s dead…”
“Um, there there, papa… Uh, well mama knew she was gonna die fur a while now, I don’t think she wanted yew’ta worry ‘r be sad about it…”
“But I LOVED her Pat! I really did love ur mama! ‘N I really love yew too son!”
“Oh GAWD dad don’t say that… Nawt cus I don’t love yew (which is true, I don’t love yew), but it’s gonna be ok, papa.”
“Jus’ cause yew saw a similar outfit on someone at Walmart, doesn’t mean yew can stuff it on me D:<”
Yes the hell I can! At least Mt. Dew can rock the look, the person I saw at Walmart could… not.
“Jesus Tatur, I jus’ asked if I could bum a cigarette, no need to get touchy!”
“So long as yew understand who’s top dawg round heer. Now, on to a more surious mattur…”
“Yeah Bella, ur kid’s ‘r right, I think yew really need to git outta mah spot already.”
“Humph. You guys don’t know anything about the pain I’m going through right now, the traumatic mental torture I’m dealing with!”
“Mid life crisis, you whiney bitch?”
“YOU KNOW NOTHING OF MY PAIN!”
“Humph, Bella Secksie. I’m not SUPPOSED to be this little Bella Secksie-house-on-the-prairie-hillbilly-kitchen-farmer-wife! I’m supposed to be BELLA GOTH! Woman of every man’s wet dream! The rich bitch on the lane with every man at her beck ‘n call! Instead, I have to take care of a rotting house and a heard of rednecks! Mortimer was supposed to rescue me already! I’m so close to being an elder too, my wrinkles are starting to come in! I’m supposed to be with the aliens at this point, with the probes… those sweet probes… where the hell are the aliens already?!”
No need to go and ruin a perfectly good disney song.
“Not right now Pat! This is the time of night when all the ali-I MEAN the new stars come out! Don’t worry about me right now, I’ll be in there later.”
“Well, ok dear.”
“Mmhmm, that’s nice Pat.”
“Yew ain’t even payin’ attention to me!”
So Pat got angry at his wife’s uninterest in his playing and beat Bella in the head with his banjo.
Anyway, at some point or another, I felt that the Secksies need to throw another teen party since Tater’s first one sucked so hard, so Tater broke out the entertainment and opened the barn to the public!
Don’t worry about it, Mt. Dew. It’s not REALLY a teen party. The adults are still here, and they know about it.
“Great, another adult crashing this lame party. I’m uncomfortable attending a party in a run down barn as it is!”
(Lol, I swapped Styx’s hopeless romantic trait with the flirty trait. EVERYONE IN MY GAME GETS THE FLIRTY TRAIT LOLOLOL 8D)
“What are you talking about, this party SUCKS! I’d rather be home right now than at your lame ass party, Dewie!”
“Oh shut up Grady ‘n dance with someone already! Go dance wid my brothur, he has a tendency to punch people in the face that dance better than ‘im anyway. Speakin’ of Tatur, whur did he run off to?”
“Get your shoulder out of my shot Starla, I’m going to put these two on my youtube account. Giggity.”
“Oh mah gawd dad, git outta heer, ur embarassin’ me…”
“HOLY SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH HIS ARM AAHHHHH!”
“Oh, I’m so ‘asited to be heer wid’ yew Mack that I could jus’… jus’…”
“Now THIS is entertainment right here! Hey everyone! Dewie just pissed all over herself!”
“Girl pees on herself at party, now THIS is what should be on youtube, Styx!”
“Mmm, I don’t know, Starla. Not to this cheesy halfbaked soundtrack. You can dub a laughing track over it later, can’t you?”
“No it isn’t Dewie, you are with me! And I’m awesome :D”
“I’M SO SCREWED”
The party ended just fine and life moved on. Except Shanon I expect because I never saw her even leave the lot (Jesus, Pat how hard did you hit her?)
I suspect that it might be time for an heir poll. Why not, Mt. Dew does deserve a chance at this, even if in my opinion, she looks like a horse <_<
Yes yes, you are beautiful, whatever your parents have told you. (between scoldings probably)
As usual, poll is here unless you can’t go there for whatever reason, just say whatever in the comments (the poll pretty much just helps me keep track)
“Oh mah poor son! I guess I gave yew dem brittle bones ‘a urs ;_;”