Potato, Potato

Ah, we are back!  Good, very good.  Because after a little quarrel with an “error code 0”, I thought we were going to have problems.  Good job computer.  You about got yourself PUNCHED IN THE FACE.

ANYWAY, last time two little girls were born, Daisy Duke to Deborah, and Ronda to Edith.

Now, everyone knows how horrible of a baby Patriot was.  A crying, screaming mess of a happy toddler.  His little sister Daisy, however, is the complete opposite.

“Wudda gud lil baby!  Doesn’t scream, doesn’t cry… Deb’ruh, yew even sure this kid’s breathin’?!”

“Mmm, sure, we gonna be gud friendszzzzz…”

I spent the whole evening getting Ronda from Edith, and when I came back to the Secksie house, Daisy was stinky, starving, alone, and in the red.  And she wasn’t saying a thing.  I might like this kid.

“Papa, I still wanna be friends wid’yew, can’t we jus’ play a nice game ‘uh tag ‘r somethin’?!”

“Man, go play wid’ ur toys ‘r somethin.  Tag ain’t gangsta!”

Well, so much for you wanting to be friends with your father, Pat *clicks off wish*

“Yew know WUT, ole’ man?!  Fine!  I ain’t never wanna be friends wid’yew since I was born anyway!  Ur gonna regret the day yew ever double-crossed me yew old goat!”

“Plz yew lil’ shit, I brought yew in this world, ‘n I can sho’nuff take yew back out!”

And here I was thinking that you two were already enemies.  Shows what I know.

Meanwhile, in the house, Ronda grew up the morning after the day she was born, which for once I had nothing to do with.

“It’s cus’ da world will end stawtin’ widda wittlest!  We will evapowate frum da earf’ til onwy old people exist an no one will be weft to wepopulate!”

Stop preaching raptures, Ronda.  Really disappointed that she didn’t inherit her mother’s dyed hair, 4/5 of our heirs have been black haired sims D:

She did inherit Darrell’s eyes though.  That’s new.

Pat’s first field trip.  He was the only child taken, and he went with the childless, jobless Robbie Stormcaller to the fanciest restaurant in town.  Seems legit.

Sadly, Robbie was killed when the bus swung around and rolled him up in the tire and dismembered violently.

“Strange, I could have sworn I just got off of this bus…”

Shame.  He leaves behind his widow Holly.

Since Robbie was murdered, no one was around to tell Pat to put the knife down soooo…

God, I hope that’s not the knife.

“Wut the HELL’s Dale’s lil affair baby doin’ on mah carpet?!”

“I wove boats, boats boats boats la la la”

“Ok lil… thing!  Yew wait heer an’ in a few hours, some nice men in grey suits an’a nice big stinky truck will take yew to ur new home!”

…As you can see, Deborah isn’t really all that keen with Dale’s lovechild with Edith…

“Deb’ruh, sweetie wut’cha doin’ out heer at fur’ in the mawnin’ fur, huh?”

“Nothin… jus’ gonna go kill my ex n’ ur son fur stabbin’ me in the back, ‘n bringin’ dat woman’s unwelcome spawn’a satan into our hawse.”

She was actually on the way to insult him, but potato, potato.

“Deb, I think I need to have a talk wid’yew ’bout the lil’ Ronda kid, mmk?  Come sit wid’ me right quick.”

“Fine…”

“It’s jus’ nawt fair, Darr’ll!  I done everythang’ fur that man, ‘n he up ‘n runs off wid some whore from Twinbrook, knocks her up, now I’m stuck raisin’ three kids, one that ain’t even mine!  I don’t even know why I ain’t moved outta heer, prolly cus’ I ain’t got nowhere to go, ‘n I’m really tryin’ on my LTW…ya unda’stand where I’m comin’ from?”

“Oh I know what yew mean perfectly!  I went through almost the ‘xact same problem ur goin’ through righ’ now!”

“How can yew know wut I mean, yew ‘n Vurginyuh love the crap outta each other!  Well, until she forgot who yew were, ‘n I can’t see yew ‘r her ever cheatin’ on each other ever!”

“Little do yew know!  Did yew know that onna’ my kids ain’t my kid?  See, mah wife hadda baby befur’ we gawt married ya know!”

“Really?”

“Yeah!  Bet’cha didn’t know Dixie, ur best friend ‘n my favorite lil’ gurl in the world, ain’t even my own!”

“No way!  I didn’t know that ’bout her!”

“Sho’ nuff Deb’ruh!  ‘N believe yew me, I fell in love wid’ that lil baby ‘n adopted her, ‘n she was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.  Her real papa was a deadbeat chicken shit, but Dixie was the greatest child I ever had.”

“Really?  Yew have a favorite child?  Well wut ’bout Dale?”

“Pfft, my son’s a loser.”

“I can stand by that.”

“And the other three, uh, Dummy, Timmy, n Richy Pee?”

“Danica, Tammy ‘n Richard Petty?”

“Well how am I supposed to remembur who the hell they are if they ain’t even gonna call me?!”

“But I want yew to keep in mind wut I told yew, Deb’ruh.  Jus’ cus my son ‘n that woman ‘r scum of the earth to yew, yew shouldn’t really bring down that inna’cent child.  Nunna’ this is her fault ‘n she’s gonna need yew whether yew want to help her or nawt.”

“I’ll remember, Darrell.  But in no way I ain’t ever gonna accept that Ronda gurl as my own.  Ronda ain’t Dixie.”

“Jus’ remember to nawt punish the poor gurl fur livin’.  Mmk?”

“Fine.”

“Now that we gawt that outta the way, let’s look’it mah beautiful Stonewall Jackson!”

“Gawt’dang, she’s a gawgous’ car, Darr’ll.”

“Yew tellin’ me.”

Deborah spent the remainder of Ronda’s toddlerhood avoiding her (actually, she ignored all the children in favor of her career) and Nascar and Virginia were left caring and teaching the girls.

“Oh lawd Ronda!  Wassdat up in the sky?!  Is that… THE CLAW?!”

“OH HELL NO, IS SCAWY’ BECAUSE YEW WOBOT! WOBOTS WEALLY HAVE CLAWS”

Stop traumatizing the children, Nascar!

Daisy had a birthday, I don’t remember if I cared to give her a cake or not though.

I’m SAD, why more black hair?!  Damn you Amy Bull and your contagious black locks!

Daisy also has Darrell’s yellow eyes, so therefore Leroy’s green eyes will, for once, not be inherited by an heir this generation.

“I is a combo bweaker!”

“But wuk!  Yew wove me because I has THIS!”

My first imaginary friend.  His name is Bun Onion, named after my own teddy bear, named after nothing in particular really.

“Hmm… I’m afraid I can’t make it to work right now…”

YOU NEVER GO TO WORK DARRELL.

“Yeah well I can’t move, ‘r put clothes on, so I ain’t gonna make it in today *goes to eat waffles*”

OMG, USELESS.

Make things better, he tends to go around telling people that he’s a doctor.  I don’t know if lying comes in Generations, but Darrell is no doctor.

He isn’t even good enough at his job to even stay a talent scout!

*watches him get demoted over and over again to roadie*

Why do you SUCK Darrell

Speaking of wonky old people

Are you having one of your absent minded Alzheimer spells, Virginia?

And while I’m on the subject of dying people now…

DAMMIT DARRELL AND VIRGINIA, STOP RESETTING YOUR AGES

LET GO ALREADY

Of course the kitchen floor would be wet everywhere except in front of the dishwasher…

NO REASON THOUGH, REALLY… <_<

“DAMMIT, THAT LIL’ SHIT’S BEEN IN MAH BATHROOM AGAIN”

And we are back to emasculating Dale with pink, good choice Pat.

“WHY?!  Boom-Boom do not want to watch clunky tin men get it on in yard!  Boom-Boom is very sadface!”

Reaver and Invention Gnome #4: *rusty squeaking*

As usual, the gnomes have to bring my game down a peg.  As if it could get any lower

I found out that one of the strollers is named the Twinbrook Stroller or something, so that had to be added to someone’s inventory just for Twinbrook’s namesake.  Lol, I almost called it a pram for a second there 😀

“But we has strollurs ‘n ‘MERICA”

Yeah yeah, Dale. Potato, potato.  Why are we walking Ronda by the graveyard again?

“Oh… no reason really.”

*two minutes later*

“An’ TADA!  No more baby.”

…GO BACK UP THAT HILL AND GET THAT BABY BACK, DALE.

“That’s strange.  The doorbell’s ringin’.  We never get visitors though…”

Weird, no one called for a party or took anyone home from work or school…  I wonder who it could be *cocks shotgun*

Oh, it’s just Pilot Creeper.  What the crap are you doing at the Secksies at this hour, Pilot?

“Donny told me to come by and visit!”

I actually thought about drowned, dead Donny the other day, and remembered the Donnie Darko movie, then remembered the talking bunny rabbit that only he could see… maybe it’s just me though <_<

“I HATE YOUR HOUSE”

There is nothing wrong with the house, Pilot.

“But everything is made of WOOD.  I’M BORED.”

HEY, I thought it was a good theme for the living room, I’m aware that I suck with house design.

“Suddenly, GNOMES”

Oh crap, I’ve never seen so many gnomes gather in one place on their own before!

Aw, what’s that?

Aw, it’s a baby gnome!  Probably the proud offspring of Reaver and Invention Gnome #4.

I named him after Pilot, who about ran him over on his way to break BOTH OF THE SPRINKLERS in every outfit he owned, which I didn’t catch on camera because I was distracted by something else.

Daisy grew up at the top of the stairs, and became evil.  Probably because she only has one picture of her as a toddler.

Ronda grew up soon after, becoming a snob, and will probably take all of her genes from her father.  Go figure.

“Why did he just strip naked over there?”

Um… because it’s HIS house, Pilot.

“I have a new mem’ry!  I’ll always remembur dat’ creepy lil’ Creeper boy comin’ into my hawse ‘n NAWT LETTIN’ ME SLEEP”

“Oh cool, you about to take a bath?”

“…Well I WAS.”

What the CRAP, Pilot?  I mean, I know you are a Creeper, but JEEZ.

Ronda and Daisy actually remind me of these two dolls I got from my grandmothers one Christmas when I was four that were supposed to look like me.  Only they didn’t look like me.

“That’s only cus’ we ain’t gotten our makeovers yet, have we, Ronda?”

“Speak fur urself, DD.  I’m already lookin’ gud if I do say so myself.”

“Hey!  Is like yews the city mouse, ‘n I the country mouse!  This is so cute!”

“How come yew got the hat ‘n I didn’t?!”

For some reason, some hairs and clothes that showed up for Daisy’s makeover, didn’t show up at all for Ronda.  I don’t think my game likes her too well or something.

So anyway, next time, Pat should grow up or something, and until then, say bye, Pilot.

AND GET OUT OF DALE’S BED WTF

“ZZZZ… Ronda is a baby again zzz…”

Damn crashes, DAME ERROR CODE 0! D:<