Daisy and Ronda

Oh look, we are back to the Secksies!  That didn’t take long at all, did it?

Not a lot happens in this chapter, just a couple of pregnant women and a little bit of  Generation spam.

This was very first thing I did in the Secksie’s world with Generations installed.  Rub Deborah’s wounds with salt.

“I’m so sorry babe, that that crazy bitch ‘ttacked yew like that!  Hurr, have sum flowers I pulled outta my butt”

“Oh Fo-Twenny!  Yew’ve never given me flowers before, they are so purdy!”

“Aww, why’d he never give me flowers before?!  That’s nawt fair!”

Don’t feel bad, Deborah, he probably would have if Generations came earlier D:

Oh hi guys, I forgot you came to Sunset as well.  Glad to see you are taking after your sister and losing the weight as well, Danica/TJ/I don’t really know.

“Are yew kiddin?  I’m jus’ drivin’ RP ovur heer ‘cuz I hear they have an open bar!  I gotta go check that out now!”

“I’m so TIRED of gainin’ all this weight!  Why can’t I jus’ lose it all and KEEP it lost?!”

I sort of feel sorry for RP and his weight problem.  Not really.

“OH SOB!  I can’t believe this crap’s gotta happen to me!  I really do love her ‘n all, I miss my angry lil hummingburd!  Why did I have to cheat on her?!  WHY?!”

“I really don’t care about your life problems sir, can you please stop blubbering to me about it and leave me be?!”

“Come on RP, you’s my brothur!  Help me, I don’t know wut to do widdout my Deb’ruh!  I really do feel so guilty!”

“Dammit Dale, if yew really loved Deb’ruh yew wouldn’t have slept with the other chick!  It’s that simple!”

“But… I love Edith too!  I don’t know wut to do ’bout her either!  Help me RP!”

“… Jus’ go away, Dale.”

Meanwhile, Deborah has been staying with her friend Dixie to avoid going home and having to look at Dale.  Can’t blame her I guess.

“Aunt Deb’ruh?  Why are you stayin’ at our house ‘gain?”

“Well you see Dallas, when a man ‘n a woman love each other, they make a baby, but wen that man can’t keep it in his pants wid’ other ladies, then the first woman has to keep her urges to kill the man she loved by stayin’ wid’ people she knows loves her ‘n understand her, ‘n that’s yew and ur mama and papa!”

“Well, next time he doesn’t want to keep it in his pants, tell him to use a tissue.  Remember Aunt Deb’ruh, tissues prevent issues!”

“… Who’s been teachin’ this kid this stuff?”

Oh, and Virginia is still around.

“Why have yew been ignorin’ me all this time!  I’m nawt dead yet!  Yew make me sad!”

I felt bad for forgetting about Virginia.  So I gave her a cane.

“Um, yew DO know that I work in the athletic career… right?”

You’ll be FINE, Virginia.

Unlike Darrell.

It’s really sad, because this is kinda true.  He loves skipping work and getting demotions :\

Patriot got a little Generations makeover!

AW, PAT, YOU LOOK SO CUTE!!

“I’m dead on the inside ‘cuz my parents are id’jits”

SO CUTE

His room also got a little bit of an upgrade.

“Nothin’ in this room knows wut I feel on the inside”

He likes it 😀

“Hey, I saw ur mama sleepin’ onna bench in town today.  Yew know anythin’ ’bout that, Pat?”

“REALLY don’t wanna talk ’bout it, gramma.”

Um, Dale…

“This gon’ be awesum”

GET OUT OF YOUR SON’S BED.

“This’ll teach my papa to cheat on mama ‘n sleep in mah bed in his yellow tightie whities.  That ole’ assface.”

I’m still getting a kick out of the pranks!

“…Wut the FUCK?!  I jus’ came in heer to wash my new manly chest hair, ‘n now I’m PINK?!  Pink ain’t gangsta at all!”

I like how he managed to avoid getting pink in his sideburns though.

“Haha, I didn’t go to school today.”

That’s just something you don’t brag to your mother the second she gets home from staying gone for two days.

“I’m gone fur only two days ‘n I come back to find my son has become a deliq’ant?!  Oh hell no boy, wut’s ‘rong wid yew?!”

“I’m so sorry mama, I’ve jus’ been so depressed the past few days, I’m sorry!”

Oh, forgive the boy Deborah, it’s not his fault.

“Fine, but you have to beat me in a match.”

“Um, a match of wut?”

A pillow fighting match!  Aw, so cute!

“Be gentle boy, I don’t wanna have to go inna’ labur right heer ‘n now!”

“My water brok- oh crap, I jus’ peed mahself instead!  Don’t luk at me boy!  Don’t luk at my SHAME!”

“I won’t mama *covers eyes*”

Isn’t he just the sweetest thing?

Deborah then went to read Pat a bedtime story, but I guess she couldn’t make it up his loftbed as pregnant as she was, so Pat curled up in his grandparents bed instead.

“Now don’t tell ur grandparents that I let yew do this.”

“Yes mama.”

OMG PAT’S CUTENESS RAFLEAJBFVFJEWVOFDSK

What kind of bedtime story is that?!

“Now remember son, the next time yew go pullin’ a prank on ur father’s shower, remember to take  a screwdriver ‘n loosin’ the head heer ‘n heer.  That way, not only does he turn ‘nother color, but the head’ll come off ‘n punch ’em in his fat, stupid face!”

“That’s so neat!  I love spendin’ time wid’ yew mama!”

“Alright, now that my sweet, precious son is finally… sound… asleep…”

 

“MY UTERUS IS EXPLODIN’ WTF’S GOIN’ ON AAAHHHHHH”

“Ok mama, I’m awake now, wut’s goin’ on?”

“Dammit, I just had him finally asleep too…”

“WUT WUT WUT?!  WUT THA HELL’S GOIN’ ON IN HEER?!”

“The baby, Vurginyuh’  it’s the baby-”

“NAWT THE DAMN BABY, GURL!  THE BOY!  WUT’S HE DOIN’ ON MY BED?!  HE’LL GET GREASE ON MY SHEETS!”

Eventually, Virginia stopped thinking about herself and took Deborah to the hospital.  And by that, I mean Deborah drove while Virginia took all the time in the world to get to the driveway.

“Come ON, Virginia, at this rate, I’ll have this baby IN the car!”

“I’m COMIN’, jeez,  I’m almost… *hobble hobble*… there…”

“I’m so proud she had such a purdy lil’ baby.  I’m such a proud grandmother…”

“…Now wut wus I doin’?”

Your absent-mindedness is only going to get worse with old age, Virginia.

Deborah’s little baby shared her crib in Deborah’s room with her and… Deborah?  Did you line the crib with newspaper?

“AND carpet scraps!  I’m nawt that heartless!”

Anyway, meet Daisy Duke Secksie.  Named after the cousin on The Dukes of Hazzard (I recently had to watch the movie again, so it seemed to fit)

I forgot her traits, nor do I care.

At the same time Deborah had her baby, Edith had hers.  Ronda seems like a good name I guess.

I actually half expected Deborah to run into her at the hospital, but she didn’t, so I had Dale go over to Edith’s to meet his other new child.

“Dammit Papa Lawnie!  Fur the last time, that damn thing ur wearin’ makes yew luk lika’ light bulb!”

“And I, fur the last time, Edith, am tellin’ yew!  This is my natural hair!  Git ovur it!”

New baby Ronda: “Hey… are yall gonna eat ‘dem waffles?”

“Bwahahah!  Only I know that my gurl Edith will be part of an evil plan in the near future!”

“How conveen’ent, she wus gonna be part of my evil plan too!”

Evil morons.

“OHMAHGAWD wut is that squirmin’ on my carpet?!”

“Is that… mah new baby?”

“Bwahaha!  That’s MAH baby!  She shall be part of my plot two!”

“Oh the evils I will do wid’ this new child!  Bwahaha!”

Bianca: “ISBI.”

Eventually though, Dale stopped being an ass and eventually picked up his child for the first time.

“Oh… my little Ronda…  I have never felt love like this befur…”

Um… your two children with Deborah?  Pat?!

“Oh Edith.  Yew made such a purdy lil’ gurl.  I love her so much, and I’m so proud of yew ‘n her.”

“I’m so happy to hear that, Dale!  Because I’m puttin’ her in ur custody!”

“Um… say wut?”

“Well yeah, yew really think I want my precious baby heer in the same house wid my papa?  Papa Lawnie tried to put me in the dryer every night for 14 years, I really don’t think I need to be keepin’ my own little baby around a nutcase like him!”

“Ugh, damn kids!  Git off my lawn!  Befur I call ur parents!”

Flowers: *silent*

“Wut the cra- EDITH, BIANCA!  The helmet’s back on my head again!  QUICK!  Git the bolt cutters!”

Um, didn’t you just have a conversation with Edith about that… oh nevermind.

“But Edith!  I can’t take care of no cryin’ baby!  That’s a woman’s job anyway!  Jus’ move ur dad outta ur hawse ‘n yew’ll be fine!”

“Yew really think I’m kickin’ my own dad outta the hawse fur a baby YEW could be taken care of.  Ur so stupid.”

“Also Dale, wid that crazy sistur of urs tryina kill me ‘n all, I really don’t think it’s a safe idea to leave the baby wid’ me.  She might do somethin’ to my dawghtur’ an’ I don’t want nothin’ to happen to our lil Ronda!”

“But yew don’t understand, Edith!  I’m a terrible father!  And Deb’ruh’s nawt mah sister, and she lives in my-”

“Oh nonsense, ur gonna be a great father!  Now on yew two go, ‘n expect my first child support check in the mail at the end of the month.”

“Oh gawd, ‘nother mouth to feed.  Man, this ain’t gangsta at all :(”

Because that’s what you should worry about right now, Dale.

“Goodbye my baby… my sweet only child…”

“Is that brat gone yet?”

“Yeah papa Lawnie, ‘n bout time too.  I thought that brat would never shut up.”

Something tells me that Ronda would have become one of the children found in the bottom of the pool before too long <_<

“Oh gawd, a new baby… wut’s Deb’ruh gonna say wen she sees her… wut am I gonna say?!  Oh man, wut should I do now?!  Where is Deb’ruh anyway?”

“Huh, I could have sworn I heard someone come in a second ago… Oh well.   HELLO WALL”

These sims sure do love their walls…

“Jeez mama, yew really are an id’jit.”

Aw Pat, even watching you read the newspaper is so cute!

“Well someone’s gotta be the man of the hawse.  It sho’ ain’t gonna be my papa.”

Ooh, burn.

 

About missmiserie

I make sims legacies and update them once every other blood moon :)
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25 Responses to Daisy and Ronda

  1. geritwag says:

    I think that the newspapers will give that baby a head start in life. Hell, he’ll be able to read by the time he’s 6 months old!

  2. skehrer says:

    LOVE the newspaper in the crib! Such easy clean up when baby makes a mess! I love how Dale keeps trying to be a gangsta even though he fails at it. And having to bring baby Rhonda home to be raised – I didn’t see that one coming! Great post!

  3. uggles says:

    Lol agreed, the newspaper patterned crib is genius. Great update, Dale drama does the Secksie’s proud. He’s going to be awesome as an old man still tryin’ to be gangsta. 😀

  4. lol The newspaper crib is awesome! The reading to sleep option is so cute ;A; Did you get the mastercontroller, so they really will get child support? I always found it amusing when someone I moved in randomly had to pay it, cause they had some random baby before I moved them in.

    • missmiserie says:

      Nooo, ashamed to say I did not v_v I had mastercontroller for a little bit, but after one game, I came back and it no longer worked. Messed up the colors though. Besides, Dale wouldn’t have gotten that child support anyway!

  5. Simsnewbie23 says:

    You are right, Pat is adorable!

  6. rainyopal says:

    What drama! I must say, I wasn’t expecting Edith to give up her baby so easily.

    Poor Dale, there are babies coming out of his ears (though I can’t say he didn’t get what was coming to him)!

    • missmiserie says:

      Well when you are being hunted by the crazy ex of your baby daddy, your kid has to go somewhere <o<

      Oh, don't feel sorry for Dale, he had this coming and besides, he needed to breed anyway XD

  7. Tree says:

    OMG I LOVE PAT AND HIS NEW ROOM. SO CUTE. and wait… why is Edith calling Lonnie her Papa? Isn’t Nick her dad? IS THE FAMILY TREE LYING TO ME? Because if Lonnie is actually her dad… that would make them first cousins… o_O I guess I shouldn’t put it passed them.

    • missmiserie says:

      Yeah but Nick and Gwen didn’t make it, and since Lonnie raised the girls, it only seemed right for them to call them their papa. He’s done more for them than Nick has, that’s for sure.

  8. Mira says:

    I LOVE the evil morons 😀

  9. spongeb0berz says:

    Awwww Pat ❤ He really is adorable. He looks so much like his mother. Ahaha, I literally laughed SO hard when Deb was behind the door, staring at a wall. LMAO xD

    • missmiserie says:

      He’ll start looking more like his father when he grows up, promise. That’s what they do, the second they all come home. Turn around and stare at the wall for an hour, if they have nothing to do.

      • spongeb0berz says:

        I know what you mean, my sims do it too. It was just the way it all happened. So freaking hilarious xD Sims just try to amuse themselves with the stupiest things. I also find it annyoing that when they go to make a phone call they have to find a nice corner to stand in to chat… so retarded. lol

  10. Gargantua says:

    Wow! There is a newspaper pattern in Generations? I hadn’t even seen it – but I will check it out now! I can imagine little Daisy Duke with the business section rubbed off on the back of her swaddle. On the front side you can take care of a baby. Flip her over and its time to check your stock portfolios – or in the Secksies case, the winning lottery numbers. 🙂

    Nice twist with Dale having to take care of his offspring. I look forward to seeing what consequences that will have. And yes, Pat is absolutely adorable. My only complaint about the “read to sleep” interaction is that if the child climbs into a bed that is not his own, the game assigns him that bed. So now if you hit the go to sleep moodlet, he will automatically head from Grandma’s bed. But still, cutest interaction ever!

    • missmiserie says:

      I think they have two newspaper patterns, one in themes and one in fabrics, or something like that. I wouldn’t know what you would want with two of them, but yeah. Daisy doesn’t spend enough time in the crib for the newspapers to rub off, Nascar hasn’t put her down since he noticed her D8

      Yeah, it does get annoying. I usually just click on their beds though since they will stand around and whine about being tired until I do something about it. Since I installed generations, so much for free will.

  11. SimBlip says:

    Yay! Newspapwers in a crib! Is someone in this family going to be talk to dark coloured people for the first time?

  12. Aww pat is too cute ^o^
    and oh dear dale what have you gotten yourself into *facepalm*
    i honestly looove this legacy so much i wanna make a redneck legacy of my own!
    and being the goody two shoes i am im gonna ask you for permission to do something similar to this! ._.
    i totally will link your legacy in the description 😀
    Thank yew ^o^

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