Love and Marriage

Daw, purdy lady thinks Leroy is handsome.

Too bad she’s such a tease.  The prettacy was stalling because of this skank and her refusal to kiss, much less marry, Leroy.  I know Leroy is no prince, but….

Ok, I got nothing.

“Check out dat hooker!  I wonder what she does for $10…”

Um, NO.  Leroy, I think this one is a teenager.  What did I say about dating little girls?!

“But, she has a purdy mouth…”

HOME. NOW.

“OMG, it’s the elephantman’s son!  Oh man, can I have your autograph?!”

Yeah, he’s still living on his porch.  Leroy is broke as shit right now, so I thought it was time to get him off his lazy ass and get at least part time or something.  I don’t know why I put that off for so long.

Since Leroy spends a quarter of his time collecting bloody pipes, I thought that there was no better job for a poor redneck man than that of a backyard inventor.  When he starts raking in that money, I thought that building him a small backyard garage would be the greatest thing for him to work in.  Plus, I could use a serv-I MEAN simbot.  Whatever.

After finally having some sort of currency coming in, it was time that Leroy tried his hand at proposing again.  So he took a bath, and invited Amy down by the river.  He was going to make this as nice and romantic as fucking possible.  She wasn’t going to deny him this time.

“Oh Leroy.  Like, I don’t know if it’s the lovely stars out tonight, or the fumes radiating from the pollution dumped in the river from all the septic tanks, but SURE, I would love to be married to you!”

“Then let’s get married RIGHT NOW, and that little kid will be our witness to this union!”

“Sniff… I can’t find my ‘paw…”

Leroy married her RIGHT after proposing, just in case she later decided to be a bitch and start saying no again.  So there she is, Amy Secksie.

Leroy then spent his honeymoon (since I don’t have world adventures) doing this…

“Oh trash can… you have no idea how much I’ve been waiting to do this all day…”

More scavenging.  Might be looking for a nice wedding gift to his new bride or more clues to solve the mystery of Twinbrook’s bloody past, who knows.

“Who’s that man that followed you?”

“What are you talking about, I got off work and came straight here.”

“Um… I’m going to inch over to the phone and call the cops right quick, that ok with you?”

Amy brought in enough money for me to finish the walls and carpet and build them their own little room and kitchen.

I also gave Amy a makeover, because her eyesore of an outfit was making my eyes vomit.  Like she’s going to be spending a whole lot of time in her pants.

“I’m gonna’ get laid tonight!”

Uh, anyway. She’s absent minded (how could I NOT see that one coming), excitable, clumsy (does not sound like a good combination), artistic, and charasmatic.  She wants to be a fashion phenomenon, which down here means to run a salon in the local Walmart.

I know said I changed her everyday outfit, but I left everything else alone, pretty much because my graphics card wanted to explode on me.  So the majority of her outfits are still her original clothes, such as her PJs here.

Really, you put glasses ON to go to bed? What kind of fashion sense is that?!

“Ooh, gettin’ all dolled up in fancy law’ngerie, you didn’t have to.”

“Uh, no, this is my formal outfit dear.  This would have been my wedding dress if we had a formal wedding like I wanted.”

I am SO glad it was a quick private wedding now.

“So… gonna join me in bed now baby?”

“Ugh…. do I REALLY have to?”

“Well we should really get crackin’ on makin’ babies now.”

“Fine, but keep your nose away from my hooch.  Wait, on second thought….”

*shudder*

Amy isn’t a bad housewife, but uh, she’s not really smart.

“I’m SOOOO hungry!  Suriously!  Liek, why is there a sink in the bathroom?! I can’t put my burnt waffles in the sink!  Ohmahgaw!”

Anyway, Leroy wasn’t making enough money with his inventor career.  Matter of fact, he wasn’t making anything.  So Amy went downtown to get her own little job standing in front of a wardrobe booth all day for hours on end.

Just like my grandmother did.

My grandmother also had to get both her knees replaced later in life because of that too.

“WUUUUUUT-”

HAVE FUN AT WORK AMY!

Shouldn’t you where a mask while doing that, Leroy?

“Are you kiddin’?!  That’s what I’m welding right now!”

After my friend killed off several of his sims while working on the inventors career on his sims game, I decided that this inventor’s desk was going to have to wait.  Last thing I needed was Leroy catching his ass on fire before he even fertilized Amy’s flower pot.

If you know what I mean.

And so, Leroy is making no money until he maxes inventing or has his children, whatever comes first.

While he was studying, I sent Amy over to her best friend Jenni’s to see her new baby.  I leave her alone playing with the toddler and go check and see why Leroy pissed on the floor or something.

I return and find Amy trying to FLIRT with her best friend’s dad!

Oh wait.  This is the south we are talking about.  Why am I surprised?

“You see why I filed for divorce?  It hasn’t been a month and he’s already trying to hop down another woman’s pants.  The man is a whore, I swear.  Dammit, I need a cigarette.”

Stop bitching mom, if you hate him so much, why haven’t you moved out already?  And BETTER yet, is that a pregnancy shirt?

“This family is more dysfunctional than a sack of catfish, I tell you wut.”

Anyway, I’m not too worried about this, because remember, Leroy’s want is to have ten girlfriends.  It’s only a matter of time before Amy get’s her just desserts…

To help Amy with her salon career, I got her an art table thing with the last bit of money this family had.  We now have $20.  You better get cracking if you want to eat.

“But, liek, it’s so hard to focus on work right now!  I just got married!  I’m like, sigh, so happy!”

Glad you got happy, but that was a while ago dear.  We are WAY past the wedding and working on the baby making right now, which you BETTER get working on.

“Don’t worry, I’m way ahead of you.  BLARGHFGIWKERGJNDSKLFKAGSM.”

“That’s it.  I know I’m not gonna eat your cooking anymore.  I’m gonna make a run over to burger king.  Later.”

So that’s it really.  Amy finally started getting nauseous, and I don’t think it’s because of her crappy cooking.  So in the next chapter, will she be pregnant? Will it be a boy or a girl?  Will the Jones-Browns get their shit together!?  Find out in the next chapter of the Southern Prettacy!

“Ick.  I have this creepy feeling that I’m being watched by a man wearing groucho glasses or something.”

No, that’s his real nose.  Ask Amy, she’ll tell you.