Yellow Eyes

It’s been an… interesting week for me, with everything being due and exams coming up and all that fun, exciting college stuff, but I got this under control.  Maybe.  No I don’t.

Here’s a chapter.

“Yeah, that’s right, come get it, big boy… you killed me, and I’m about to smack you with this fish.”

“Don’t mind me back here, being a loser and hanging out with my only friend… uh…this yard bench.  Yeah…”

I did manage to look up their traits.  He’s got a good sense of humor though.

“This bench keeps me in good spirits for being so forever alone.”

So he’s optimistic.  At least he has that.

“Come on Fancy… we’re gonna leave these crazy people ‘n find our own place in this crazy world, we don’t need no legacy family anymo’.  We’ll follow the train tracks to the big city ‘n find our destiny”

And so Tater and Fancy left and we never saw them again.

Nah, they just walked to this abandoned lot on the outskirts of Twinbrook.

I’ve seen it before, but it was an empty lot with no real name other than “community lot”, and I never see any sims come here.  It’s just an old warehouse no one uses other than midnight drug dealings and prostitution rings, I’m sure.

There isn’t anything even in the building, it’s just an empty shell I guess Twinbrook just happens to have for our tweaking pleasure.  I’ve never seen it utilized though, so how about we buy it and do something with this building.

So there, the family bought it, and it was turned into the Secksie Museum of Family History, which is where trinkets and items from the legacy were put on display.  For example, there’s a replica of the damn statue Leroy picked up and got stuck in the inventory of at least one person every generation since (Dolly is the current Keeper of the Statue),  Tater’s chair from the holloween event, Bear’s pet ghosts, various trophies and awards, what we are fairly certain was Dodge’s time machine, and Bloaty, dead and stuffed and on display with Lynyrd’s urn, along with his own little “ashbox” to call his own.

Hey, he was an old pig, ok?

The second floor is where the portraits hang, generations 1-9, in no real order, just however I could get them to fit on the wall really.

And finally, a photo booth for tourists and visitors to show family and friends back home.  Or in Dolly’s and Taylor’s case, a new sexy time place for baby making.  Yeah they are still trying.  I can’t seem to get the jingle going on this go around.

“OOOH, if Ken wus heer, he’d be so ashamed of his lil’ gurl taintin’ our new museum…”

“Are you kidding, Tater?  If he was here it would be YOU and him in that photobooth.”

“Sniff, ur right, taxurdurmized’ Bloateh.”

“Yeah… that’s a nice booty going on right there, Dolly… I think I’m gonna frame this and hang this over the bed in the bedroom…”

“…Or maybe not… Damn, I really got to get that third nipple removed already…”

After closing of the Museum, Cletus made his first appearance in his new home.  What do you think, Cletus?

“I think this is BS that I have to share a display with the pig.”

“Hey, I’m not all that pleased with randomly finding out that I’m stuffed and forced to entertain gawkers in an old warehouse either.”

But Cletus didn’t really enjoy hanging out at the museum, so he left.  Literally.  He just took off in a random direction and disappeared near the laundromat.

He hasn’t been seen since.

You remember when I said that the kids all had back-to-back-to-back-to-back birthdays over a span of four days?  My math was off, there was a day break between Eagle’s and Fancy’s birthday.

Since she was technically raised by the ghosts, Opal did the honors.

“UR HEAD’S LIGHTIN’ UP LIKE’A LAMP BULB”

“I don’t want to do the honors anymore.”

She picked this look out all on her own.  I’m so proud of her, I let her keep it as it was.

“Stylin’ n’ profilin’, hawney”

Sindney and Lady did the entertainment part of the party.  By arguing over the karaoke machine.

“Look Sindney, I love Ironman as much as the next gurl, but again?  We’ve done this four times already!”

“Shut it, green girl.  I’ll sing it again if I damn well please and there’s nothing you, or my drunken state of mind, are going to do about it.”

“Caveman HUNGRY!  Caveman bash!  Caveman EAT HORSE!”

“But… why?  I thought we were friends, Kentucky… why would you want to hurt me?”

Aw, come on little cave man dude, don’t hit the poor little precious horsie…

“BE FRIENDS WITH ME FOREVER, KENTUCKY”

…Nevermind Kentucky, bash it.  Bash it quickly!

“WHOA, it’s dark in here.  I wonder why… I mean, I’d turn on a lamp or something, but I really REALLY want to play football with this kid for some reason.”

Dammit Garret, don’t you have enough mental problems as it is.  With you dating your mother and all that?

“UUugh, why would you do that, bladder?  You couldn’t wait until later until after I get my game on?!  I know it’s 3 in the morning, but you could have held it until I got home.”

What a jem of a man.  Rochelle must be very proud to call you son and boyfriend.

“Aw, lookit’ dis daddy.  I’m havin’ one more kid for yew to love and cherish, and raise for me.”

“Zzzz… mmhmm, I’ll wait until the movie comes out, zzz…”

Strangely enough, Tater has been sleeping in the laundry room ever since Ken died.  No one has slept in their bed since then.  It’s so sad.

“Ah, gud mawnin’ ugly lil’ pencil holder, how’s ur… wait, why is there pee in my floor… WAIT, WHY is there a government official standin’ over my bed?!”

“Oh, didn’t mean to spook you, but I just really wanted to play 😦 But about the same time my boss tried to call me into work, I realized that I’m kinda stuck to your floor… all the pee got sticky and I’m stuck.  Can you call my mommy and tell her I’m going to be late in tonight?”

Please don’t come back, Garret.

“La la la, I’m feelin’ gud, feelin’ gud… really Bear?  Yew see me heer doin’ somethin’ important fur mah health and mah baby.  Why yew gotta get all up in mah business like this?”

“Sorry Dolly, I’ve lost something very important and kinda need to check the washing machine for it…”

“AH, there you are!  Dammit Egret, get out of there!  I don’t care if you are made out of water, the washin’ machine is no place for a little ghost baby to play in!”

So that’s where she’s been all this time.

“GAH, Unca Bear, do somethin’ bout this thing yew call a son!  He’s freakin’ stuck floatin’ in my bed and he won’t go away!  GIT OUTTA MY BED, YOU FREAK”

“I’m sorry Fancy, he’s just attracted to it because the color makes him feel better about himself.”

“;(”

“Oh, well howdy doo, lil IF.  I didn’t know I had yew.  I wonder how I’m gonna git rid of ya, but I do enjoy ur comp’nay more than that purple twirp stuck in my bed.”

After about 4800 of those things in a couple generations, I want a sure-fire way to get rid of them too sometimes.

“I would like to get rid of those things too… they’ve been taking the children away from us for one EP too many.”

Oh?

“Sometimes, I just want to light a match and burn them into ash.”

Oh dear, please back away from the camera please…

“Dammit Bear.  I jus’ wanna wash the dishes, did you really have’ta go backin’ me up in to the corner somewhere where I git mah hand cut off by the stove?!”

“I need ur attention though D: we are friends.”

“Nawt at this rate we ain’t, boy.”

“Well dern, this motherin’ thang ain’t all that bad.  Ok lil’ gurl now this is how ya take a radiatur outta a 1972 El Camino, ‘n case yew ever gotta do that ‘n yew ain’t got no man to do it for ya yet…”

“But mama, we were readin’ To Killa’ Mawkin’ burd…”

“Aw, she’s kinda sweet when she ain’t givin’ us all that mean death glare she gawt from her daddy.  It took no time to bore her to sleep with this car manual.  Now, to sneak out and let her sleep peacefully in the laundry room…”

“UGH NO, NOT MY UTERUS”

“Really mama.  Really?!”

“I had jus’ fallen asleep, ‘n ur gonna break out in labor like this?!  I ain’t givin’ you this bed to birth in, so yew better keep them short lil’ britches on, mother dearest.”

It was then I noticed something very strange about Fancy that I should have noticed before.

“Say a damn thing about how my nose stretches weirdly with I glower, ‘n I’ll slap ur face.”

No, it’s her eyes.  They are yellow, and no one in the direct family line have ever had yellow eyes.  Dolly and Taylor are both really dark eyed, and when I went to check the grandparents, they all have dark eyes as well, on both sides of the family.

Checking the family tree, the only person I can find with this eye color was Sam, and that’s way out in left field.

“Well my daddy better be mah daddy if ur sayin’ wut I think ur sayin’.”

Trust me, Taylor is her daddy.  No surprise mama-daddy drama this generation, I promise that.

“MY BIRTH CANAL IS SPLITTIN’ N I’M BIRTHIN’ A WATERMEL’N OF A CHILD AND YEW WANNA LUK AT EYE COLORS”

“I am special, mother dearest.”

“I had a baby.  Guys?  Guys.  Don’t crop my head off in this photo, GEEZ”

“I have seen some shit.”

This is the last baby this generation, our very own little Honey Boo, named after our most loved southern baby beauty pagent competitor.  Sadly, I couldn’t fit Honey Boo Boo all in there, and Honey Boob was too tempting.  She is good and easily impressed.  I hope she’s good and impressive.  I’m calling this the last baby even if I get another face clone, PLEASE DON’T BE A FACE CLONE

“~IIII, wanna rock n roll all niiiiiight, and party every day, AH”

You got school in the morning you little shit, go to bed already.

Next day is Egret’s turn to grow up.  Fancy, you are supposed to pee AFTER the caking, you jumped the gun too soon dear.

“I COULDN’T STOOOOOOP”

Absolutely precious.  She takes after her father, definitely.

“I’m unlucky.”

It is unlucky that you are so cute.  I’m never going to leave you alone now.

Afterwards, the kids went to the park to go play and have fun and junk.

“Me ‘n you are best friends, Beau!  Right?!  Right?!”

“Don’t stand so close to me Eagle.  People will think we traveled together or something *obviously slides over and tries to inconspicuously dust off pants*”

“Why does no one like me?!”

Wait a minute…

…Beau?  What the fuck?

“Dern, mah bawtox’s failin”

EVERYTHING ON YOUR FACE IS FAILING D:

*Tries to push all his features back in the right places on his face*

“My brother’s a goober.”

“I am better… and I am beautiful…”

What is it lately, Everyone Just Creep Up On The Camera Week?!  Back up, already.

“So uh… wanna play chess or somethin’?”

“Wassup wid all these damn ghosts lately?!  I thought Unca’ Bear killed yall all already.”

“But… that’s my dad…”

Meanwhile, the only one actually enjoying herself.

“Aw, they tickle!  And they are sooo pretty!”

“Yeaaah… all the bitches wanna peace of this.”

“Git bent, yew sister screwer, we ain’t interested in ur scrawny ass at all.”

“Besides, you are standing on the hedgehog.  Move along, please.”

Ah, it’s nice to see Mt. Dew Sundrop is still alive. Well, maybe not anymore.

“Oh NOOOO, a ghost!!”

Also, I think that snake is poisonous.  Say goodbye to Sundrop.

“So, yew didn’t wanna play chess with Eagle, but ur playin’ chess…”

“Yeah, I wanted to play chess, jus’ nawt wid’em.  First off, I don’t really know how.  I need a car jack by the way.  I’m trapt in the chess table.”

“Well, speakin’ of Eagle, where did he run off to?”

“Oh IF doll #76, yew will be my friend, even if yew really don’t have a choice against it… and heer, hidin’ in the bathroom, no one can see me be alone playin’ with dolls…”

“Oh so this is what the boy’s bathroom looks like…”

Wrapping this chapter up with a little simself news.  Starting with Sacha and Lenny, causing his and Renee’s divorce since 2010.

OH

OK, TAL STILL ISN’T DEAD YET, APPARENTLY HE’S GETTIN’ SOME NEW SIMSELF BOOTY

Alright, I checked the remainder of my photos and this is the last thing he did when he was alive.  Hannah got out lucky this time.

Alright then, NOW R.I.P. Tal.  About time.

My simself/simself daughter is currently dating Juan.  Making me proud, obviously.

Finally, Lucy and Sinbad keep going back on their enemy rivalry they had as children, even if they are now in a relationship.

Ok, now they aren’t.  Aw.  My OTP ended itself…  I’m heartbroken now too.

There’s always other Twinbrooks with dead baby Lees in it somewhere.

Now, I will go back to schoolwork, since in the past two hours it took to write this I could have been smart and work on other things.

Like the ISBI I plan on starting to post tomorrow.

OR my schoolwork.  Yeah that.