This chapter is early because Thanksgiving is coming up and I figured it would be a good holiday present if I did one early. That and I might go to the river Thursday. Drown or something there. I don’t know.
You’ll be fine Bear…
“I killed a lotta my own kind fur this kinda fame.”
ALSO, another reason I wanted to update early, is while I was working on this chapter, I realized that it has been one year since yesterday that Tater and Ken got married! That means it’s their one year anniversary! WOO! Now how many sims can say they have made it that long in a legacy? Seriously, I have no idea.
What should the loving couple do for their paper anniversary~
“Well, I’ll be damned. Maybe I can slip on peacefully without waking Tater up…”
“Well, so much for that, sorry Tater…”
“Oh hey there Lynyrd! It’s not anything, just dying here…”
“Well, I want to be there for you Ken! You were my best friend!”
“Not righ’ now, Dolly. Ur papa is dyin, can’t you see that?!”
“Not right now, you pink haired freak. I know you didn’t like me in life, but don’t you come up in here ‘n glare at me like that! I’ll *chews hole through wall*”
Tater: *Proceeds to cry through Opal’s boobs*
“What the crap is this shit?! The horse can fly through walls and transcend floors without the use of stairs or anything, but I can’t get over three wooden rails?! I’m an idiot!”
Afterwards, Lynyrd took the stairs out, just like any normal horse would. Well, as normal as a horse can… take stairs…
You know what, he didn’t take the stairs very well at all.
Sim logic. Sim logic forever.
“Eh… wut ’bout that Dead guy out on the balcony, ya don’t think we should try to git him off befur we git our hanky panky on?”
“Gah, don’t worry about him, I’m sure he’s seen worse anyway. He’s Death and all, you know?”
“NO! HELP! I DON’T WANT TO WATCH THIS GO DOWN! 911! ANYONE! I NEED AN ADULT!”
“And I will go on to work to avoid my father frum seein’ mah shitty haircut, seein’ as I gawt mah hands on a pair of scissurs when he said to not cut my hair ‘gain!”
What am I supposed to do with you, Sugar.
“Dammit brain, I have a hot wife and a great life. WHY the HELL would I want to wish to know Renee’s sign?! DAMMIT.”
“Wowie! I think we are compatible!”
Ok Taylor, let’s go before you start rolling more stupid wants for her.
“So Fancy is my little granddaughter wid’ Dolly ‘n her husband, and she’s the sweetest lil’ thing, even if she worries us and kinda creeps us out wid her constant “arson” talk. But I think she’ll grow up to be a fine kid! How ’bout yew, CT? Yew ‘n that husban’ of urs talkin’ bout havin’ me sum grambabies yet? Aside from that white lil’ blonde thing that ur genes shouldn’a made together givin’ yall’s genes…”
“Dammit dad! If yall actually came and spent more time wid’ us, yall’d know that my husband DID have ur special lil’ grandbaby that yew always wanted! It was horrible on my husband! He had to pop the little brat outta a hole THIS BIG!”
“Oh no! Nawt a hole THAT big!”
“Why yes I had a decent day at school… no I didn’t want to come home and find all that out about my birth, thanks for asking.”
“Sergio’s shirt could choke a bitch.”
“Mom, how much longer do I have to put up with this?”
“Don’t worry son, Grandpa will soon be dead too, I’m sure.”
“Oh hey Luther. Thanks fur ur concern man, yeah… Ken’s obituary was in the paper this mawnin’… it has been hard on me, I haven’t had my heart broken this hard befur… Well I’m glad to hear that ur still here fur me… that’s great to know.
You know, if ya ain’t doing anything right now, wanna go meet up somewhere and hang out? I’d like to keep my mind off of things and I haven’t seen ya in so long.”
He actually had to call him back, and then call him back two hours later because Luther suddenly had “things to do”. Go figure.
“Oh damn man… I’m so sorry! I really wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, I can’t even fathom the idea of losing a loved one like that! I just want you to know I’m here for you, ok?”
“I hope the grandkids don’t take it too hard. I know it can be tough for the kids since they don’t know what’s going on.”
“True. ‘N Dolly and Taylor and Bear and Opal took the easy way out ‘n sapped all the bad moodlets away, but I jus’ didn’t think it was right if I did that fur me. I mean, I loved Ken too much fur him to jus’ be a “two day feelin'”.”
“Yew do know we are the only two people on the lot, not countin’ the proprietor, right? Oh gawd, I hope I didn’t look that stupid when I was with Ken the other day durin’ that similar SimFest. Ur over there lookin’ like a crazy man, Luther.”
“Woo! So much talent, so many youngin’s wid’ so much potential…”
“Thanks for spendin’ the evenin’ wid meh, Luther. I know I’m gonna be grievin’ fur my husband fur a long time, he was the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, but you’ve been a great help, bud. I don’t know what I would do without ya.”
“No seriously. Thanks fur bein’ my best friend, Luther.”
The next morning was the first day in a series of four days where each kid ended up getting their own birthday! First day was Beau’s, and then the next day was supposed to be Eagle’s birthday. The day after was supposed to be Fancy’s, and then last but not least, the game said Egret’s was supposed to be the day after that.
So I set up a small little party area that was supposed to stay up for those four days.
“Dammit Goodwin, I already told you once, this is NOT a wedding, it’s my cousin’s birthday party!”
HEY LOOK, Tal is still alive in this chapter! Well darn, I jumped the gun too early last chapter. Maybe he died after this party? I should keep my facts together better.
“HONORS IN WUT?! PISSIN’ MAHSELF? THAT AIN’T HONORABLE!”
It’s ok kid, you grow to accept it as the norm over time.
“Alright! Who’s ready to ROCK!”
“Get OFF the singin’ box, Unca’ Bear, yew SUCK!”
“Yew guys made me cry and feel shame about my singing voice, but woo! Go Dolly and Beau, this is fun!”
Dolly, don’t inhale that microphone.
Next morning was Eagle’s birthday party, and everyone was so excited for it that they decided to skip it altogether apparently, leaving just his parents to give a shit and actually come outside and see this spectacle.
Ok, even they didn’t care.
“Aw. This is a sad day.”
“Yeah! We gon’ be better than One Direction, Brooks ‘n Dunn, and even the Pussycat Dolls!”
“Nothing beats the Pussycat Dolls, Eagle.”
“Oh yeah, you’re right…”
“UGH, you’re singing is terrible! I’ve put up with a lot of things in my life, but you two’s voices are literally killing me!”
“But I didn’t shoot the deputieeee~”
“HEY, I’m not a freak, and I don’t hate the horses…”
“Go away stray dog. We aren’t in the mood right now.”
“I know, this suc-WOOOO IT’S MY BIRTHDAY TIME!”
Atta’ boy, Taylor.
“I don’t just wanna be a rock star! I want to be a ROCK GOD”
Yeah, good luck with that, kid.