Til Death Do Us Part

I’m going to update rather than do school assignments.  College is back in session for me, and uuughhn, can’t adjust to it right now.

“YEW!  Yew piece of cow shit, tell me one gud reason I shouldn’t stomp a good sized mud hole in your ass righ’ bout now!  Yew missed our WEDDIN’, Taylor!  Our weddin’, to GIT A JOB CUTTIN’ PEOPLE’S HAIR!  Wen I’m done wid’ yew, ur gonna wish I had left yew behind in horse-fuck Appawloosuh’ Plains ‘n married mah cousin instead!  Yew dumb shit!”

“I’m so sorry, Dolly!  Honestly, I don’t know what came over me!  I thought you’d like it better if your husband got a job to support the family, but I didn’t think they were going to make me work the second I walked in! Ain’t my fault 8 skill points for fashion suddenly popped out of my ass and made me a valued worker in the salon!”

“I better see yew at the alter tomorruh at dusk Taylor.  Or I’m breakin’ off them lil’ stylin’ scissors off in ur pee hole.  Luk at my face ‘n tell me I ain’t serious either!  LUK AT IT”

“Yes dear D:”

After Taylor was sent back to the house crying like usual, Gargantua fixed Dolly’s tattoos finally.

“Lookin’ gud!”

“I know, considering I’m actually putting a tattoo on this arm as well!  How nice!”

NO WAY

He had ONLY been with her ALL DAY

“I enjoyed our date today Opal!  Kinda sucks we had to meet at my neice’s fail wedding, but I think this has probably been one of the best days of my life!”

“I’m happy to have spent the day with you too, Bear.  You are such a sweet gentleman, and I’m glad I came along when I did.”

“I know we just met, but, I really like you Opal.  Can I see you again soon?”

“Sure!  I would love that!”

These two hit it off fast, that’s good 😀

Of course though, back at the house, Bear got his weekly call from his BFF Tal, but this time, he’s not the one left sulking during their conversation.

“What’s that, Tal?  You’re still upset about leaving your wife in AP?!  Alone forever you say?!”

“Well guess what, Tal!  I got me a girlfriend now!  She’s beautiful, fun, AND she likes me back!  Haha!  Also, I’m stuck in a wall while I’m talking to you, can you come over and help pull me out right quick?”

“Oh.  Well congrats on finding someone Bear.  As for my wife, look, I did find her again, you know… but… *sob*… not in the way I wanted to find her ;___;”

No

NO

ROCHELLE

THAT’S YOUR SIM SON WITH TAL

ROCHELLE STOP THAT

“I’m so glad to be back in the house after the shit I pulled today.  I thought Dolly was gonna make me sleep in the pig house, but Ken slipped her some weed and she’s been chill all afternoon!  I’m gonna make her a snack and be a good fiance now :D”

You better be.  After that little stunt he pulled, I almost considered kicking Taylor out, and bringing Sam back, because Dolly didn’t need that crap.

BUT since I moved him out, I haven’t seen Sam since.  He vanished completely when he left, no move into any of the other houses, no longer in the relationship panels, no where.  I think he’s scared of Opal now, but damn.

Oh, and Ken finally got bucked off Bella after getting on her last chapter.  About time.

Stop trying to ruin your good suit, Ken.

“Alright Taylor.  This is your last chance.  Show up to the weddin’ today, or I’ll have a new Sam made fur me and have him shipped back here on Overnight Express.  Don’t test me, boy.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that!  I’m going to go to that damn wedding, come hell or high water, and I’m going to marry the fuck out of you!”

“Excellent.  Exactly wut I wanted to hear.”

“I’m going to be the best fucking groom I can be.  Oh hell yes.”

“Don’t mind me back here guys, just making sure my little Opal is safe and can bathe safely while her bathroom curtains are open like they are… making sure no peepin’ toms are watching her while she’s doing so… yes…”

Meanwhile, this is going on in front of them.  Frisky robots!

“You better get that hard drive formatted baby, I need a recharge in my USB port!”

“Oh Veronica, you naughty thing!”

“Oh wait, did you make sure to turn on your spam blocker dear?!”

“Oh SHIT!  I forgot!  Close browser!  CLOSE BROWSER!”

“Sigh… I’ll just back up my files later…”

“Aw Ken!  I’m sad now.  I wanted to hug ya ‘n celebrate our daughter’s weddin’ day, but then this prick got between us.”

“I know, I hate this little asshole too, Ken.”

“BOOO! Robot man is confusing to simple Cave man!  Do not understand technology!  BOOO!”

“Alright Taylor, ready to say our vows?”

“Like, right now?  But Dusty was just starting to play some guit-“

“Yew give me an lame-ass excuse to nawt meet me at that arch right now ‘n I’ll cut off ur ba-“

“Ok dear, I’m sorry!  Going now!”

“Oh Taylor Riffin!  My sweet hubbie to be!  Do yew take mah hand in ever-lovin’ matrimonin’ fureveh?”

“Only if you let me keep my job.  Can I still work, Dolly?”

“Sigh, fine, if this is gonna git a ring on ur finger any quicker.”

And so, Dolly and Taylor finally wed, and it only took my sanity.

The gazebo was a little small for a wedding party, but other than a little overcrowding (and Tal just being a dick in the corner, seriously, why do I keep inviting him to family affairs) it was good this time.

However I noticed two important guests where missing, and I found the fathers of the bride skipped out on the wedding and came home.  Lame.

“Wasn’t there somewhere we were supposed to be, Ken?”

“Uuuuuuuuuh…. maybe?  Uhhuhhuhhuhhuh *channels some Butthead*”

“THERE you are, Opal!  I skulked through the whole neighborhood in town mode lookin’ for you just now!  I’m not stalking you or anything!  For the record!  But I didn’t see you at Dolly’s wedding and came looking for you!”

“Your neice finally got married?! WOOOOOOOOOO! CONGRATS FOR HER!  LOVE ME A DAMN GOOD WEDDING!”

“That’s… good?”

“Here you go, Opal!  I caught the boquet for you!  Well… actually Dolly’s aim was off, and it flew straight into my sternum and got stuck in my ghostly form.  That’s why they are a little damp.  Sorry about that.  But I accepted them, and thought you might like them!”

“Aw Bear, these are so pretty.  Thank you so much!  And I guess this means you’re the next to get married then, haha!”

“Actually, Opal, I’ve been thinking about that.  I know you only really met me a day ago… but I feel like technically, I’ve known you for years.  Opal, I love you.  I’ve always loved you.”

“As creepy as that sounds in a different scenerio, I actually feel the same way Bear.  Like I’ve met you in another life…  I guess that’s what they call fate or something.”

“You’re so important to me, Opal.  I’ve thought about you everyday, every minute, every second I’ve known you.  You are the same Sunset Opal I know, as strange as that sounds to you I’m sure, and we are soulmates, you and I.  We were destined to come back together one way, and we did!  Opal, I really, truly love you.”

“I love you too Bear.  There is something special about you.  I can sense it.  And if I am the same Opal you talk about, and whatever we had before, I believe I would love to have it again with you.”

“I’m so glad, Opal!  I can’t wait any longer!  We are destined to be together, so Opal Surley, will you finally become my wife?!”

“OOOH BEAR!”

“I will!”

“I would cry, but it’s physically impossible for me to do so!”

“Don’t worry, I think I will for you anyway!”

Aww, mushy couple, finally together forever and ever.

Back at the house, some baby making was finally underway.

“Yew ’bout ready for me to rock ur world, Taylor?”

“I’m so nervous, I might cry!”

NO MORE CRYING GUYS

Ah

the baby lullaby of the first of the final generation!  So excited!

Actually, I was so excited, that after the baby making was said and done, and that inital thrill passed, I heard something in the background on the lot.  A sound that causes my heart to drop clear to my butt when I hear it and don’t know what’s going on.

See, Bear invited Opal over after their engagement for some celebratory hanky panky, but I got distracted with Taylor and Dolly, and then, I hear the sound of someone interacting with the cowplant for it’s cake…

AND THEN I PAN OVER AND FIND THIS

I DON’T EVEN

“I’m sorry, mother and father… I didn’t even get to avenge your deaths yet…”

NO, OPAL, WHY

YOU DIDN’T EVEN GET TO JOIN THE FUCKING FAMILY YET

“…But… I don’t understand why this has to happen to me… my poor Opal… I had just g-gotten her to say yes to my wedding p-purpos-“

“WAAAAAAAH!!!”

“Wut the crap’s goin’ on out here Unca’ Bear?  Who was that woman?”

“Yeah, and why do we have to get up at 4 in the morning to check it out?!  I had a good post-coitus sleep going on too :(“

I really didn’t expect that to happen!  Jeez.  I DID consider at one point though, sometime later on, I would drown Opal and bring her back to her original blue ghost form, so she and Bear would be a cute matching set again, but I wasn’t sure at the time… but I didn’t expect THIS in the slightest.  Good god.

“Oh don’t you worry about a thing Bear!  I can bring her back!”

“R-REALLY?  You are able to pull Opal back out of the cowplant?!”

“Well no.  But when Lynyrd died, I got the Oh My Ghost!  opportunity, and had been saving it for a moment like this just in case.  I figured I would have to use it IF it was ever decided that Opal would be drowned for you, but good thing I have it now, right?!”

“What?!  DROWNING OPAL?!”

“Um, uh, uh, I’ll be on my way with her gravestone now, nevermind what I just said…”

“Oh my, my sweet hubby is so generous :(“

Of course, Opal couldn’t be added, because even though the amount of sims I can have on a lot was boosted up, and there are only 7 sims in a house (one horse, still) Opal couldn’t be added.

So I took the opportunity to move Veronica and Nascar out to live their own lives.  They deserve their freedom now anyway.  Nascar has been the family’s portrait slave for half of the legacy, and he should go out and enjoy his life with his wife now.  Don’t worry, they’ll be around still!

And then, Opal was returned to the land of the living.  Kinda.

“It’s good to be back.  A little strange to be light as air, but I can get used to this.”

“That’s good to know.  Now, don’t you have a fiance to go back to?  I’m sure he’s still sobbing around in the back yard now, anyway.”

Actually, after the grim reaper left, and all morning, Bear took the opportunity to scold the cowplant over and over again.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say he was super pissed.

“Fucking plant!  I take you in my home, give you to my father, and this is how you repay me!  You can take my mother, but I’ll be DAMNED if you can just take my fiance!  Why, I’d set you on fire if my watery fingers didn’t put out every damn match I light!”

“I sowwie…”

“You better damn well be sorr… oh hell, you look so sad.  Aw, how can I be mad at a sweet little thing like you… Actually, yeah I can *continues to queue ‘scold cowplant’ three more times*”

And then Dolly comes trotting over and proceeds to drink Opal on her own.  What.

“Mmmm, digested people juice!  I hear it takes just like a sweet Bud Light!”

“REALLY, Dolly?!  My DEAD fiance!”

“WOOOO-EEE!  I feel fit as a fiddle!  Why, I’m so jacked up, I can fly!”

“DOLLY!  THAT WAS MY OPAL!  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!  WHY WOULD EITHER OF YOU DO THIS TO ME?!  WHY DOES NO ONE LOVE ME?!”

“Hello Bear.”

“Not right now, Opal, can’t you see I’m storming off to my room to cry about you dyi… Opal?  Is that really you?!”

“Yeah Bear.  It’s me!  I’m back, and please don’t cry.  You know you can’t really cry anyway.”

“Oh… Opal!  I can’t express how happy I am right now!”

“Yep, just another day saving the romance between two forlorn lovers.  I know I’m awesome.”

Yes you are, Ken.

We will end this chapter with the usual screenshots.

My dogs from the Pets test play chapters FINALLY died.  I don’t remember how old they were at this point (60ish I think?) but they were the same ones from AP, and it makes me sad that their game counterparts finally passed away.  I’d cuddle them for comfort in real life, but Flick’s grounded for playing in the highway and W.D. still lives with my mother 😦

Also, I didn’t even know these two were together!  Kinda makes me sad, since all the effort I put in Sidney’s and Godric’s relationship went to waste.

Godric also got him a little simself action, but I think they are still together.

The last simself to get her some is Megan, who for some reason, wants Bill.  Poor girl.