What Robots Smell Like

I think Dolly is cute in her little work outfit.  Just a cute little science geek :3

Sucks her co-worker is Tal, who’s just a big nerd.

“Welcome to the world of science, Bear’s neice!”

“Oh, go run inna’ ‘lectric fence, will ya?”

“Oh Veronica, these past few sim hours have been fabulous!  I’m so glad I got to meet ya and got to know ya!  It’s so nice havin’ another simbot around, you have no idea how I longed for a fellow bot to be with!”

“Aw, and I’m glad to be here with you, Nascar!  You are such a sweet guy who doesn’t deserve the five generations of neglect you’ve been getting!”

I haven’t been neglecting him!  Yeah sure I ignored him almost 100% of the time the past generation or two, and he’s been the portrait slave for the family since Virginia’s time, but I treat my Nascar good…

“Now how ’bout it, Veronica?  Wanna go on a date with me today?  I know an awesome place not to far from here!”

“Sure!”

“You took me to a junkyard, Nascar?!  This… this is… the greatest place I have ever been to!  Thank you!”

“Nothing but the best for my simbot baby!  Now wait right there, as I fashion a delicious bouquet out of bloody ole’ pipes over here!”

“Hello ma’am.  Can I help you?”

“BOOO Nascar!  Talking to some other chick!  That chick ain’t even fly like me!  You SUCK and she SUCKS too, Nascar!”

Overly attached girlfriend material, I think.

“Aw, no, I think that’s sweet, Veronica!  You were jealous of some meatsack streetwalker like that!  I’m so touched to have a girlfriend who wants my affections like you do!”

“Did… he just call me a meatsack streetwalker?!  How embarrassing!”

“Do you really think of me as your girlfriend, Nascar?”

“If… you wanna be.  Only if you wanna be, Veronica.”

“…I do.”

I actually think this is the quickest set up between sims I have ever had in game.

“Is this how people kiss, Nascar?”

“I think so… just get really close to each other and take a deep whiff of their faces.  That’s kissing!”

Several centuries of witnessing weddings and other relationships and a one time fling with Bella and Nascar still doesn’t know a damn thing about making out apparently.

Wait, who?  Who the hell is going to get hurt from this?!

Um, NO

JEEZ, Bella can sleep with a ghost, a robot, and the wall paneling and not get a bad rep, but the second Nascar gets a girlfriend after his last fling DIES YEARS BEFORE, he get’s this shit?!

WHERE’S YOUR SENSE OF ROMANCE, GAME?!

“AHH GHOST NO AHH! Help us other ghost man, we scared of ghosts!”

“Hahaha… oh how I’m startin’ enjoy my job.  I’m startin’ to feel jus’ like the next Beetlejuice or somethin’!”

Back at the house, weird things started happening with Nascar.  First, he got a Grungy moodlet, which makes no sense seeing as his hygiene should be locked down, just as it’s always been.

I figured after the two hour time limit ran up he’d pop back to normal or something… but that just wouldn’t be logic in my game, now would it…

“Nascar!  What did you roll in?!  I know we went dumpster diving yesterday, but you stink!  And you know it’s bad when I’M saying something about it!  My nose doesn’t even really work!”

“I think it’s the side effects of falling in love dear!  Why else would I start stinkin’ like one of Tater’s socks jus’ the day after meetin’ you?!”

“I don’t think this is a love side effect, Nascar.  More like you have a roadkill skunk in your storage department.  Now go to the bathroom, clean that up, or I won’t be interfacing with your hard drive until you do!”

“Oh dear… ok, I’ll get right on that!”

“Ok, Nascar ole’ boy, you can do this… you’ve cleaned hundreds of tubs before, it’s just like that, only you are going to be sittin’ in the tub… with it full of water…”

Don’t worry Nascar, I got full faith in you!

*saves game, backs up town, backs up save file, hides behind couch*

“Well now, this ain’t so bad.  It’s soothin’!  Kinda like a nice gentle warm current flowing through my motherboard….”

“Gah, because it IS a current flowing through my motherboKWAIHGADJSKLFJIJAIGKL”

Well the after effect could have been worse.

“Dammit Nascar, when I said to get it cleaned up, I expected you to wipe it down with some Windex, not dunk yourself in that old deathtrap!  Haha, get it because Windex fixes everything.”

“WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME, NASCAR, WAS IT MY BAD MOVIE REFERENCE JOKEWALTHEAFJSKDAL”

Probably.

“Oh damn, that was a frightening experience!  I ain’t ever doin’ that again!”

“Yes well, you still stink Nascar!  What are you planning on doing about that?!  I didn’t even think it was possible to smell worse afterwards either, but I think you do!”

“Wait Veronica!  I have been thinking, while trapped within my own mind during my short out… life is too short you know?”

“Not really because we are simbots!  Haha get it?!  Oh, we are never going to die.”

“Yes well, if I ever get sprayed with a hose again, it might be it for me!  And this stink cloud  could do me in for all I know, seeing how strangely coincidental that it popped up suddenly after meeting you… but I don’t want to go any longer without you by my side, good or bad the next little bit of time I may or may not have left…”

“Veronica, will you marry me?!”

“Oh Nascar!  Is this 100% real cubic zirconia!  Why I’m 46% cubic zirconia myself!”

“Actually no, it’s old plastic.  But it’s been passed down from my father Dodge, who told me to give it to the woman I love, after he won it for me in a coin machine.”

“I accept anyway!”

“Yew heard ’em, Dolly!  Now even the robots are togetha’ now so yew better be gettin’ on the ball ‘n findin’ yew a man!”

“Daddy, can’t yew see I’m already on that?!”

“Taylor, wat’cha think ’bout these flowers?  Purdy huh?!  Purdy like me, right?!”

“Oh they are lovely, Dolly!”

“Yeah Dolly!  I like this boy.  Those neon purple flowers’ll look great next to his bright ass hair color :D”

“And once again, there goes my self insecurity :\”

“Oh don’t let my ole’ man get ya down like that, Taylor!  He likes ur hair!  I like ur hair!  It’s a lovely shade of strawberry blonde, jus’ without all the blonde.”

“Well thank you, Dolly!  I like your hair too.  It’s beautiful, just like you…”

“Sorry to pop in unannounced, but PEACE LOVE AND DRUGS BABY”

“Peace love ‘n drugs, daddy.”

“Damn HIPPIES.”

Huh, well I didn’t know that.

Well I expected it to happen soon, but I didn’t know when.  Mack’s old.

“Oh hi, you got through the newest dead bolt again.  Fine.  Say what you want to say, keep your hands where I can see them, and if my dragonborn wife comes in, don’t kick and scream too much when she chunks you through the window.”

“Well that’s the thing, sweetie, I came over to tell ya that I’m kinda gonna end things with ya, Mack.  You’re too hard to flirt with, seein’ as ur so damn loyal to a wife ya hate, ‘n well, now ur old!  As cute as yew were, I think I’ll pass on sleepin’ wid an old wrinkly skin sack who’s hips’ll break just tryina’ get into the bed wid me!”

“…I don’t know if I should be happy now or offended.”

“Besides yew have several great kids out there somewhere that yew already abandoned!  I on other other hand will be going after a nice younger man than urself.  Sexy, pink hair, a hatred fur them damn left wing hippies, a love of BBQ and four-wheelin’…”

“Just get it over with and go home, lady.”

For some reason, pregnant Lady was standing in their yard, so I let Dolly say hi and stuff.  I’d like for their relationship to be back up since they’ve kinda hated each other since Dolly’s backlash at her in the backyard ages ago.

“Aw, Lady!  It sounds disgusting.  Just like yew! :D”

“I… guess I can take that as a complement.  Somehow.”

“Soo… it’s nawt really cotton candy?  That’s… strange.”

“Big word, strange, coming out of the mouth of an all blue ghost! >:I”

“Ain’t he a charmer, Bear?!  I really like this guy!”

Yeah, I’m starting to think Tater REALLY likes Taylor.

“Yo baby, gimme dat sign hot stuff!”

“What”

Tater, no, go to bed with your husband please.

“Haha, Taylor, my older brother totally wants to tap dat ass ‘a urs!”

“I know right, he so crazy and old!  Hahaha!”

“Oooh, but yew better be careful ’round Bear too, Taylor!  He’s been without love so long, Bear’s willin’ just about to tap almost ANYONE’S ass!”

“Haha!  Eh, he’s kinda right, I’m desperate.”

“OH UM”

And just like that, their budding bromance was all but quickly stomped out, but for reasons other than Bear’s desperate horniness.

“Art, huh?!  ‘N I thought yew said yew hated hippies too, yew lyin’ priss!  Go cut off an ear ‘r somethin’, yew art farter!”

“HEY, you’re just mad because no one has had the need to paint your portrait, ghost boy!  Who wants to paint a stupid water puddle like you?!”

“Art portrait?!  Did someone call for a painter?!  Is it my time to shine once again?!  *still stinks*”

Um…

ok then.

“Why if it ain’t my adurable lil’ cousin, Samuel!  How ya doin’ sweetheart ‘n wut brings yew this close to my workplace at this time of evenin’?”

“Oh, I was just walkin’ by… checkin’ out these badly cut ‘n paste potatoes EA must have gotten off of front-page Google the day before the EP’s release!  Seriously, wut are those?!”

“Oh don’t let EA’s bad potatoes git ya in a miff, sweetie!  Come, give ole’ sweet Dolly a hug!”

“But… we’re COUSINS!”

“Yeah, so?”

Actually, he’s pissy because he already has a girlfriend.  PFFT, not for long.

Am I kinda bouncing around a lot this chapter.  I think so.

“What the hell is, like, wrong with your dad, Eris?!  Why does he, like, think he can just walk up in the salon like this with his dangler hanging out like that!  That’s gross!”

“I’m sorry, my dad is a big embarrassment in our family right now…”

“Speak for yourself Eris!  I can’t keep you off your brother for more than five minutes!  I knew I shouldn’t have let you kids bathe together when you were younger.  Or now-a-days.”

Not sure what to think about you riding the horse into town without clothes on Tater.

“Wat, I’m jus’ goin’ into town fur some Skoal, GAWD”

“Hee hee, nawt sure wut I’m doin’, n’ I think I’m lettin’ the horse eat gravel.”

I actually like this place in town.  The best part of AP, and it’s not even a legit lot.

They even went so far as to add cool things in the abandoned building here!  Which is more than I can say for the store’s potatoes.

I wish I spent more time in this area before.

Bear, please don’t tell me you stood on this porch all night.

“Well it’s haunted, so I just didn’t give a fuck..”

Yeah, and?

“It’s Tal’s house.”

OOOH.  Atta’ boy, Bear.  Know your customer.  Tal deserves his ghosts >:)

“Bleh bleh bleh, POP suddenly I am here and bleh bleh bleh!”

“Haha, ur old ‘n I’m still beautiful ‘n young!”

“Haha, I have a wife, you don’t!”

And they are friends.

Sugar finally found something… in Taylor’s father.  Out of all the other guys in town too, Sugar, really.

In case you couldn’t tell before from looking at Taylor, or if you are just now noticing the Simphony name, yes, Taylor is Starla’s simself’s kid.  Actually, I if I remember correctly, I think Starla is actually the “father” of Taylor.

Just a tidbit.

“Oh, that horse is so awesome 😦 oh sob, sniff”

Dolly doesn’t even have the coward trait or anything like it… and I have seen her and several other sims on occasion act like that around Lynard.  I don’t know why.

“Daddy Ken useta’ tell us that that horse was pure evil!  I still believe him.  We all do!”

“Daddy, I’ve been thinking lately, that as the last heir of this legacy challenge, I would like to move to a new town, if that’s alright with ya.”

“That actually sounds like a swell idear, sweetie.  Wut do yew have in mind?”

“Well, seein’ as this legacy is almost over, I thought we could all go back to where it started, back to Twinbrook, to our lil’ own motherland in the bayou!  Wut’cha think about goin’ home, daddy?”

“That would be nice, Dolly… but papa used to tell us stories about the demise of that town, and wasn’t it hinted at once or twice that the town was destroyed in a flood of biblical purportshuns’?”

“Oh daddy, this is the sims, think rationally!”

“Ok fine!  I got a plan!  We take onna’ Dodge’s old time machines, and go back in time to the gud’ ole days when Twinbrook was still a place!  Back to the moonshinin’, rifle fightin’, 1980 Ford Fiesta drivin’ days!  Trust me, wut can go wrong?!”

“Yew know, that sounds almost crazy enough to actually work!”

“‘N Dolly, when we move, which onna’ dem boys yew gonna take with us to Twinbrook?  Surely yew ain’t gonna dump ur love interests and leave them behind, are ya?  Which have yew decided on who ur gonna make babies wid?”

“Oh daddy.  Who said I was decidin’ on one of them?!”

“Hee hee Taylor.  Gears.”

“Did you actually take that hit Dolly gave yew, Sam?!”

“Wutcha’ doin’, ghost?”

“Spyin’ on chicks bathin’, Lynard.  Wishin’ I had somethin’ to say to git down their bras.”

“Yeah well, we are packin’ and gettin’ ready to move back to Twinbrook, git off that stupid thing and go get packed *drags Bear by the hair to go get his stuff*”

Before leaving, Dolly went to go pick up the family portraits at the museum.  Oh, well, kinda.

“These ain’t my glasses!”

Finally, everything was packed, Taylor and Sam were stuffed into an oversized duffel back kicking, screaming, and presumably drugged up, and the family gathered around the time machine.

They lined up one after another, as straight of a line as free will was going to let them have -_-, and they hopped in…

And said goodbye to Appaloosa.

To Twinbrook!  Oh man, I haven’t been there in over a year D: