Tater Tot

I’m no good at these intros.

To the legacy it is then!

I added more simselves to town: Elissa, Mariah, Starla, and Dan.  Andie’s simself was going to be part of their little clan, but her simself HAS to be one of the things my game won’t take to.  UUUUGHSAKDLAJNVKJAES

Also, when I went to move them into Sunset, I missed the house I was going to put them in and put them in an empty lot next to it instead.  Oops.  I was wondering why it was so cheap…

“We are going to starve to death, aren’t we?”

Hopefully not.  I should go ahead and build them a house but eeeeh…

Moving on

Last time we said goodbye to Ronda, DD and Bun, and after Bella and Pat got married in the barn, they later had a little baby in the living room.

“Yo?  Yeah, I heard Imma granddaddy now!  Wut, naw, I ain’t doin’ anything important right now!  I’d love to talk ’bout mah new gram’baby!”

Just any excuse at this point for Dale, I’m sure of it.

Oh yeah, the baby.  We didn’t meet him last chapter.

“Oh look Pat!  It’s a baked potato!”

“…Bella dear?  That’sah baby.”

Doesn’t matter, it stuck, so now our generation 8 baby is named Tater.  I was actually driving down the road the other day and the word tater just popped into my head, , and I laughed, so that’s where it came from.

I think he’s a neurotic heavy sleeper, but don’t quote me on that.

Knowing full well that the gnomes weren’t going to stay in the house for very long, I went ahead and made Tater’s room gnome-themed, because I wanted to.  But after about the third time decorating his room, I gave up and half-assed it in the end.  As usual.

“My life is an endless torrent of pain and misery… I can’t get a girlfriend, my parents don’t understand me, and I can’t even cut myself because I’m made of porcelain.”

“You think you have it bad, Pilot?  My name is Buttmunch.  I don’t want to have to hear you whine about your life.”

Later on Pilot and Buttmunch stopped arguing about who has the worst life and went out to taunt Pat’s corn in the field.

“Wut the piss is this in mah livin’ room flur?!”

I’ll be honest, I don’t know, I just tuned in myself.

“That’ll teach mah great-grandawghtur to have babies wid mah great-great-great-grandsun.  Don’t yall bring me ’nuff shame as it is?!”

“OW GRAMMY WHY”

You probably started Deborah, so you probably deserved it.

“BITCH DON’T YEW COME BRINGIN’ DAT UP IN MAH HAWSE”

“Honey, the Shark guy is in heer too, do somethin’ bout him wen ur done wid her.”

So much family love going on right now.

“Oh Dale, thank you so much for being up our grammy fur me MUAH MUAH MUAH MMM”

“I’m soooo glad Ronda doesn’t act like you guys, this is disgraceful.”

“I don’t know, dude.  This is kinda turnin’ Shark on.”

No one invited either of you two, go away!

“Dale, I’m so turned on right now frum when you threw Grammy Amy outta the window jus’ now!  Let’s go find the nearest bed right now!  I can’t wait fur these feelin’s any longer!”

“Sweeeet!”

“Dammit!  Wut the hell man, I was gonna get laid heer!”

“Successful cockblock.”

“GTFO JED.”

“Oh hey Tater!  It’s mah birthday today!  WOOOO!”

I forgot about Pat’s birthday.  I’m so unused to them aging up right for once that it snuck up on me.

And WHO PUT THE BABY IN THE FIELD?!  Watch him for me, Bloaty.

“I smell TRUFFLES.”

Almost at the same time, Deborah grew up too, I guess because she didn’t want to be the same age as her son.

“I’m nawt all that comfurtable wid’ sparkles comin’ frum mah crotch.”

I took a picture of Deborah in her elder outfit, but the computer must have eaten it.  Eh, she’ll show up later.

Now we are just waiting on you to catch up with your aging… Dale… I thought you bathed with a full head of hair.

“I use’ta, but aftur all those hair dye pranks in tha’ shower, I kinna’ lost all mah hair wen I became an adult.  Mah son’s an ass.”

Not saying you didn’t deserve it.

…

Ok, when Bella wished to ‘meet new people’ I didn’t think this is what she ment.

“Ooh, I like to get to know a married man like you better.”

You aren’t allowed outside of the house ever again, Bella.

“…WELL?!  Are you going to finish the job you started or not?!  I didn’t let you in and leave my wife out in front of the mailbox for nothing you know!”

“You don’t have to be so mean about it!  You are about to make me cry now!”

Aw, she almost looks pitiful, if it wasn’t for her making hand gestures to a man not wearing pants just three seconds ago.

“POI BOI.”

“AUDIO.”

“POI BOI…”

“FIRE!!”

I figured Audio would have gotten kicked out after the Poi Boi/Skehrer wedding.  Then again, he is a Creeper.

“Hey!  Lukit’ wut I found crawlin’ towards the road!  A baby!  Is it urs, Audio?  How cute!”

“No, it’s just a little affair baby… I was just… taking it outside and showing him what a car looks like.”

“Um, Audio?  I kinna’ think that this ain’t the affair baby… Ginny is.”

“Whatever just put him next to the garbage can when you’re done with him, I’m going to go… find Poi Boi now…”

“Hey, I wus jus’ playin’ wid that baby… where’d he go?  He jus’ ‘vaporated outta my hands D:”

GAH!  After the clock struck twelve, little Luther Simself turned back into a pumpkin disappeared into thin air, and I was hoping he just poofed back into his house.

I checked anyway, and come to find out…

Of COURSE he wasn’t, WHY would I think it would be that simple.

Audio: “I’ve SUCCEEDED!  BWA HA HA, and now my ex girlfriend will be mine once again!”

Well, that’s what you would expect Audio to say anyway.

IT GETS WORSE.

Further investigation shows that Ginny no longer claims her parents and is now the only person in her family tree.  And I guess that gave Audio the idea to jump on that as quickly as he could.

“What can I say, I’m a lonely old man, and I don’t see a ‘daughter’ tag on that…”

I DON’T CARE, THAT’S YOUR DAUGHTER YOU IDIOT!

And I love how Skehrer can just sit right there in his relationship panel, not angry or in the red with him at all, nope, they are verging on friends while he… ‘courts’ their daughter… let’s go with that.

And I thought the Secksies had problems…

After Audio and Ginny ruined everything I ever thought was good about them, I detoxed the town of sims that weren’t doing me any good (AKA elderly women), replaced some simselves, etc etc.

Oh look, I found old Sabrina chatting it up with new Sabrina, how nice.

“Bitch, it’s YOUR fault this town keeps loosing all the babies it manages to have!  Go make yourself useful and jump off a sea side cliff!”

“HEY!  That isn’t no way to talk to your replacement!”

“REPLACEMENT?!  You ain’t replacing a DAMN THING!”

“Pfft, dumb bitch.”

After all that, I come back to the Seckies and have come to the theory that Story Progression only affects THEM.

No more than ten in game minutes could have gone by!  Whenever I did some in-town exploring, I pretty much kept pause on most of the time.  Yet, I come back to find Tater as a toddler, Pat quit his job as a gardener and joined the science career, and someone got their hands on an orange SUV.

“Hi there!  I’m your adorable, unexpectingly brunette Tater tot!”

Ok, you kinda creep me out.

“Oh gawd, that hurts SO GUD”

Dale managed to make something without blowing up!  I’m… proud of him?

“One fur future ref’rence, the stink potion makes ya stink.”

NO WAY SHERLOCK

YAY, Nascar finally got his final promotion as an astronaut!  So happy!  Can’t you tell by the smiley faces I doodled all over the place?!

“Now I can finally have my dream of going to space fufilled, and be amonst the stars ‘n toolboxes.”

Too bad NASA launched it’s last shuttle launch earlier this month.  Sucks for you, Nascar, HAH

“Hurray, Nascar was forced to retire because now he’s out of work, HURRAY”

“Don’t you have a fire to sit in, Dale?!”

*sad, slow self appause*

Retirement’s going to be a little hard on Nascar.

“Bloaty, let’s go on an ADVENTURE!  Amongst the stars!  Unlike Uncle Nascar!  Yay!”

Deborah: “Alright lil one!  Time fur yew to learn  ur skills!  Let’s go now!”

“NO!  NO NO NO!  Bubleagfadubbleckbaw”

“Sigh, I really don’t know why I wanna teach yew how’ta talk.”

I like to think that all my toddlers are like Stewie Griffin.  Only understood if it’s viable to the plot.

I wanted to take Deborah and Dale on a date (Generations keeps telling Deborah that Dale is still cheating on her.  UGH.) They wanted to both go to the graveyard, and we find Ronda there as well.  Small town.

“DADDY I’M PREGANT UGHAHHHH”

“THIS ISN’T HOW I WANTED TO FIND OUT, DEB’RUH GIT OVUR HEER ‘N DO SOMETHIN'”

“Can’t hear yew, nawt gonna help ur affair kid wid’ her kid, gonna go pee ‘n the bushes, la la la…”

Dale took Ronda to the hospital and she had a baby named Shanon.

“… It wus a really… wierd delivery.”

Oh really? I thought you were coming out after having to deal with a disaster that happened to be at the same time as Ronda’s labor.

“…There wus a disaster?”

SIGH… *sends Dale back in*

“Bella, don’t offer ur… services… to the kitchen furn’ture.”

“Oh come on Pat, I offer my services to EVERYTHING!”

Hard to beat an old habit, isn’t it Bella?

“Welp, that horror potion didn’t do shit.  All I gawt wus a lawsy’ horrified moodlet ‘n that’s nothing fur a man like me.  Screw this, I’m gonna go watch tv.”

…

“…’Pparently the hallucinations are worse than I thought…  WTF is wrong wid’ mah tv?!”

I don’t think this is the horror potion kicking in, but still, glitchy tv is creepy.

“Oh gawd, all I wanted to do wus luk up sum Lavender town Yewtube vid’yos to really work on mah horra’fyin’ day, but wen I gawt over heer, the computer clamped down on mah penis.  I really AM high, ain’t I?!

…I’m scared…”

No, you are just glitchy, just… go to work or something.

“Hey bb… git it, cuz ur names Bebe ‘n that’s funny ‘n there’s a couple’a beds upstairs…”

“Busy, working, trying to read a map without textures here, go away…”

Meanwhile Roman’s serious face scares me more than genitalia biting computers any day…

“YEW FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY AGAIN.”

To be fair, last time you grew up without my permission.  But yes, I did forget it this time.

“Well I hope ur happy!  I can’t poop in a toilet, so I hate art now!  Art is fur sissy gurls ‘n hippies, AIN’T THAT RIGHT BLOATEH”

“…I ate all the dolls, can I go to the vet now?”

Speaking of children, Bella’s pregnant again! 😀

“Why do you keep conveniently forgetting every time I’m knocked up over here?!”

I don’t know why I’ve been taking so few photos lately…

“I can’t believe I’m outta work now… a workaholic robot like me whose’ spent his whole life workin’ on bein’ an astronaut… all fur nothin.”

“Oh stop complainin’ and help me wid’ mah pitiful garden over heer.  Been needin’ good help fur a while now.”

“FINE, but if yew want me to be ur personal scarecrow or somethin’ yew can go blow it outta ur ass, Pat.”

“Mr. Dragonface!  Since none of mah distant relatives love me ’nuff to send me an imaginary friend, I declare YEW tuh be mah best friend frum now on!”

“I got a better idea kid.  Go get a life.”

“…Yew have made Prince Tater of Tot… very sad.”

Hi Bella!  How’s the baby?

“I’M HAVING IT NOW!”

Wow, that was quick.

“HOO HOO HAH HAH, WHERE’S MY HUSBAND THAT WANTED THIS THING?!”

I found him in the bathroom, who conveniently found the banjo I downloaded just for his virtuoso trait just as his wife was having the baby.

Bloaty: “You do know that your wife is having a baby in the next room, right?  Just across the hall, the screaming coming in through the walls…  you know, no rush.”

Pat: *chews on hat string*

Well damn, I missed the birth of the baby.  What a shame.

“OMG THIS ISN’T THE REFRIGERATOR!”

Go be an idiot somewhere else, Bella.

The baby is named Mountain Dew, shortened to Mt. Dew because nothin’ goes better wid’ some Tater tots than a gud ole’ Moun’n Dew, WOOYEAH I wouldn’t know I drink Fanta.

Maybe next chapter we can get a few more cute toddler photos of Mt. Dew than we did with Tater, I don’t know.

“Sooo… instead of a house, we get a ton of giant mushrooms on our lot?!  How is this going to substitute for shelter and food?!”

“I don’t know, maybe they are edible…”

“Don’t touch that, Starla.”