The Wrath of Bun Onion

“Now this is a story, all about how, my life got herp-derped upside down

And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called-”

Jay: “SUNSET?!”

Edamame: “OMG YOU RUINED HIS RAP, SHUT UP”

Dallas: “Hmm, the textures are finally back.”

Dixie: “HOLY HELL MY HUSBAND IS OLD”

Edamame: “Yep, that’s what 40 years of smoking will do to you.”

In other news, I was overly thrilled with the Secksie’s neighbors anonymously telling ghost stories.

But back at the house, I only updated the other day, but I really can’t recall what happened.  Something something, Pilot came over and wouldn’t go home.

“BWAHAHAHA, oh the things I’m gonna do to’em…”

You know what, I don’t what to know.

There isn’t a real big reason on why I took this photo.  Just to show everyone how cute they are right now XD

Ronda: “Yeah, and after this yew ain’t ever gonna show me again D:<”

That’s not true…  Ronda will show up… sometimes…

“Who’s the freak widda’ crew cut?”

I didn’t know, at first I thought he was a weirdo Alvi spawn.

Until I scrolled over his face.

I didn’t think the imaginary friends would show up as people until you gave them the potion or something.

Nice to know that DD’s imaginary friend looks something like Darrell ._.

Oh no!  Mathew!  Your hair, you cut it all off!

“Wut?  Oh yeah, that, I felt like it wus time I needed to git’round to doin’ that, especially since I gotta work wid’ the robot, ‘n it kep’ wantin’ to git stuck in his gears ‘n stuff.”

Genny: “Robot?!  WHERE?!”

Pauline: “Robot?  Ooh… where?”

Pat’s birthday.  And if you can’t tell, Genny and Mathew are standing in the same spot.

Pat: “They really gonna do that in our livin’ room at my burthday?”

DD: “Yeah.  Disgraceful.”

Holy crap, he looks EXACTLY like one of my coworkers, but when red hair and a green thumb.  But he’s frickin adorable anyway.

Except, if you look really close at his face…

His NOSE.  What the crap happened to his nose?!

It looks like some extreme throwback from Leroy, but he I’m guessing that he got his mother’s small bridge and Dale’s nostrils.

Because he’s a growing boy, and DD was sleeping in the same bed as her mother for I don’t know how long, I thought it would be better for Pat and Deborah to swap rooms and Pat and DD could share.  There is more space here than the old room anyway, so there you go.

“But I dun’ WANNA share a room wid’ mah lil’ sister!”

Oh, go have your mood swing somewhere else.

Pat and DD still got a better deal than Ronda.  She’s still living in the trailer with her father, and instead of upgrading it like a good sim player I’m supposed to be, Ronda sleeps pretty much anywhere she wants.  Poor Nascar.

“And this’s wut gud chess form luks like, ‘n always remember that the queen goes on her own color.”

Not what I think a good bedtime story would be like.  But it can’t be any worse than Deborah teaching Pat about the mechanics of a shower head, and it’s better than the smut you would think Dale WOULD read to Ronda.

“Papa, ur story sucked, I ain’t gonna go to sleep on that crap!  Now I’m jus’ BORED”

“Wen’s her mama supposed to do somethin’ wid her again?!”

Ah, there we go, Bun Onion’s “fixed”.  YAY!

“Wut the CRAP’s that supposed to be?!  I don’t like him!”

Oh Nascar, don’t get jealous.

“Ur REPLACIN’ me wid’ him, AIN’T YA?!”

YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE HIM, WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING

“I can TOO see him!  He’s RIGHT THERE!  BLOCKING MY WAY OUT THE DOOR!  I can see him on my SENSORS!”

“Oh… THE ROBOT CAN SEE ME!  ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION”

“…”

I can’t remember who told me that I should marry Bella into the Secksie family.  But the Bachelors had long moved out of Sunset (after bouncing all over town like a pack of gypsies).

But the more I thought about it, and the more she whored herself around in my Sinbad/Lucy game, the more I realized that I needed her in this household.  So I yanked her out of that game and plopped her here.  Originally, the Bachelors were placed in their original house, but two days later, I find that they moved to the Landgraabs old place.  Because they are SOOO SPECIAL like that.  Uppity Bachelors.  NEED TO BRING THEM DOWN A PEG

I tried to give Bella a nice girl outfit, so she won’t come off so slutty with the Secksies.

BUT as soon as Pat goes over to introduce himself to her, she does THIS

“New guy?  Handjob??”

“…Wut?!”

Simis, you just going to stand there and let your daughter do this?!  I thought you said you raised her better than this!

“But… the mailbox!  Why is my fancy mailbox all grey and ugly?!”

“Uuuuuuuuh… zombie want happy endinnnnng…”

OH GOD PAT STEP AWAY FROM HER

“Lol, I better now!”

“Oh… thank gawd…  Well anyway, my name’s Pat, ‘n I was wondrin’ if yew wanna go to prom wid’ me cuz yew is so purdy-”

“Aw, how sweet.  However, I don’t know you, and you just aren’t my type, so I’m going to have to say no.”

“I’m SORRY… lemme axe’ yew ‘gain.  Do yew want to go to prom wid’ me?”

“OMG THEY ARE SO PRETTY!  Yes, I would LOVE TO GO to prom with you!”

Actually, she said this.

Ok Bella, you got to stop turning to the aliens to get you out of stuff.  They aren’t going to be getting you out of your problems forever >:\

Lovely guys.  Let’s pillow fight while the sickly old people finally get their first sleep in two nights.  That’s mature.

“Holy chiz, I had no idea you got a tattoo on your back!”

“… I DO?!”

Oh wow, I completely forgot about that.  Deborah got it when she first moved in out of remembrance for her Pipaw.  I can’t believe I over looked that.

“Just like yew overlooked my entire cute routine of playin’ on the kitchen chair?!”

Oh man, I’m sorry Ronda, I bet you were adorable.

“Yeah right, yew BET.  Screw yew, I’m goin’ to bed now.  Bitch.”

In other news, is it bad that the imaginary friend talks to himself?

“… So I’m tellin’ yew all now.  If yall even lay a HAND on my precious DD, I’ll rip every stitch out of ur poorly sewn together bodies!”

Stuffed animals: *fear in silence*

Well that’s nice Dallas, stand on your cousin’s head and break his neck, that will get the attention you crave, surely.

“Aw man, I busted a hole in mah sleepin’ bag!  This SUCKS”

“Wut the hell woman!  That luks NOTHIN’ like me!  Who taught yew to paint, a braindead ‘possum?!”

“I’m ignorin’ yew cus I can’t SEE YEW IN THE FIRST PLACE”

“Oh microwave… there’s no one in this hawse that’s gonna stop our love fur each other… nawt even those discustin’ grey hotdogs on the counter ovur thur”

I can’t leave you alone for ten minutes, can I Nascar?

Dale, who I’ve kinda over looked since the girls were born, one day out of the blue wished to become a firefighter.  Being the only noble wish I have ever seen him roll, I let him get that job, pretty much because I haven’t had a firefighter yet, and he might get out of this bum state he is in.

“So, I wus thinkin’ Bun Onion!  Yew is mah best friend in the whole wide world!”

“Thanks, DD.  I also can’t imagine a greater friend than ye-”

Nascar: *bust opens the door* “I KNOW HE’S IN HEER, GIT AWAY FRUM HIM DD, HE’S EVIL”

Virginia: “…”

“That…  ROBOT!  How DARE he upset the WRATH OF BUN ONION”

Oh hell, Nascar done gone start some shit NOW

Lol my photos are just bouncing around all over the place this chapter, aren’t they?

I DON’T CARE LALALA

Anyway, Ronda and Daisy successfully completed the fusion dance, and became one ultimate being, Rondy, complete with a BADASS hairstyle that really should be in the game.

On the other side of town, Dale starts his first day at work, finally.  There he started rolling all kinds of naughty wants with Bebe who was all but impressed when she finally got fed up with him and sent him to stop his first fire.

“Oh NO!  My kitchen!  Please, hurry and save my house before my daughter and my girlfriend and her boyfriend get home and see what I’ve done!”

“Aw man, I can’t believe I had to stop talkin’ to the hot chick for this shit…”

“But dude, my KITCHEN!  Please save my kitchen!”

“Did yew say kitchen?  Oh man, I’m so hungry!”

Needless to day, Audio lost everything in his kitchen ._.

Back to the graveyard.  This isn’t really a picture taken to show that the girls are sleeping here, but if you look closely, you can see the statue of the grim reaper being haunted.  Makes you wonder who is still up at 3 in the AFTERNOON.

“Oh, it was just me, Madison, because I’m secretly Shadowcat!”

Well then that would mean you are the worst superhero I’ve ever seen.  But seeing as there are small water droplets dripping behind you, I can guess at who was really moving the statue…

“I’m still very depressed about being killed in a murder/suicide with the Tragic Clown.”

Yeah, come on, I can’t be the only one thinking that there was some fowl play between Opal and the Clown.  Why else would a little girl with face paint be buried next to a clinically depressed clown of the same cause of death?  That’s just morbid, EA.

Speaking of ghosts

ABOUT FUCKING TIME

“Why is my white ghost so black?”

I don’t know, why is the shower still so grey

FUCK MY TEXTURES, SERIOUSLY.

“This ain’t fair… he took all my prom date’s attention away from me, 30 minutes befur prom!”

I know, why couldn’t Darrell think about someone besides himself for once, amirite?! GOSH.

“Please, I don’t want to die yet, death!  There are things I still need to do!”

“Like what?”

“Well, I’m hungry fur one-”

“GET IN THE URN”

RIP Darrell Secksie.  He didn’t complete his LTW, pretty much because he didn’t even have the drive in him to even go to work, and he leaves behind kids, a wife, and his beloved Stonewall Jackson.

“I still can’t believe mah grammpaw took my date away frum me…”

And I still can’t believe I made you that tux.  Seriously, it was tacky on my class’s valedictorian, and it’s even tackier now.

Aw, so sweet.

Too bad this happened before Bella even got to prom, as you can see, there she is in the background, thinking of trash, not even wearing the prom dress I gave her to wear D:<

So this opens the question up: Who the hell was Pat dancing with?!

I’M ENDING THIS CHAPTER NOW.

So next time, what will Pat/Bella be like?  Will Bun Onion and Nascar resolve their problem with each other?  Will there be an heir poll despite all my love for Pat?  Will I stop with these chapter ending questions?!

“I hate ghost tag.  The ghosts never wanna git into the game like I do.”

“That’s because my life was a miserable short woe, my heart is broken and I’m too preoccupied with my saddness to get wrapped up in your game of TAG”

“Oh shuddup an’ run already.”