Trashin’ Up Sunset

Last time, in case you couldn’t tell where I the legacy is now, the Secksies were forced to move to Sunset Valley due to glitches and other fun stuff that makes me want to burn things.

“I hate this place.”

“I’M JOININ’ THE ARMY BASE HEER FUR THE TANKS”

So far, I LOVE it in Sunset Valley.  Not as rednecky as Twinbrook by far though, but the fact that the game just runs so smoothly now is wonderful!  Free will works like a top again, sims don’t stand around with their thumbs up their asses between all their actions, and I don’t have to three-speed through anything just to get them moving!  It’s paradise on sim earth right now.

Ok, now that that’s out of the way, time to show off the new house.

I didn’t move them to the big legacy lot on the hill between the Alvis and Landgraabs, or any other lot in between because, come on.  That’s just not the Secksie’s style.  The lot in front of the criminal warehouse worked just fine.  After sprucing rebuilding the house on the lot, the Secksie’s could finally call it home.

I didn’t build a very big house, pretty much because I hate building houses from scratch on this computer, it takes too long, and of course, big fancy houses just aren’t the redneck thing, you know?

This is the main house.  Mostly everything is in this building (except windows I just now noticed.  How plain.) with Dixie and Jay’s room being on the second floor, and Darrell and Virginia’s room off to the side downstairs.

Dale and Deborah live in a little tiny trailer in the front yard, just because Dale wanted to get out of his parents house, just not off their property so he doesn’t have to support anyone.

I have uncles and cousins like that.

The backyard, which is where Nascar is chained and fenced with a Beware Of Dog sign on the fence keeps his bed because I’ll build him a new garage later.

The main living room, the most furnished room on the lot.

“Complete with FOOTBAWL!  WOOOOOO!”

Go away and stop ruining my shots, Jay!

This is, on the other hand, Dale and Deborah’s living room.  It actually looks a lot like my mother’s living room now that I think about it…

And then there are bedrooms, which are pretty much just rooms with beds in them, like the name suggests.

I got impatient with furnishing the place, it’s not like they spend a whole lot of time in their rooms anyway.

And the rest of the house is bathrooms, the kitchen, just small 4×4 things to keep them from pissing and starving to death, like you actually want to see those boring things anyway, I’M MOVING ON ALREADY.

To keep the Secksie’s from feeling like they weren’t the only ones that were forcefully relocated to a new town, I also dropped in other Secksie spares, other sims (the hookers, etc), and new copies of the few simselves and legacy sims my computer hasn’t managed to reject yet.  Hopefully they will fucking breed more in Sunset or something.

As you can see, with the glitch-free free will, they are making names of themselves already.  Well kinda.

“God I hope your mother doesn’t find out I’m letting you do this son.  If she hears about this, she will set me on fire…”

“Oh don’t worry about her dad and just give the ho your credit card number!”

Ah, the ever classy Sunset.

“I hate our new hawse, Vurginyuh.  The walls aren’t completely painted, the railings upstairs are all busted out, ‘n thur’s a hole in our bedroom floor.  I wanna go back to Twinbrook…”

“Shut up Jay, n’ be happy we’re in a nice new town.  This is the first meal I’ve been able to eat in almost four days so I don’t wanna hear ur bitchin.”

OH, by the way, there was another glitch ruining me in the end over in Twinbrook that I forgot to mention.  The ages were getting messed up big time.  You remember when all the teens ages were all jumbled up incorrectly?  Well, it was doing that with everyone in town at the point where we moved.  So much so that Darrell and Virginia’s life stages kept getting reset, along with Deborah’s, Dixie’s, and Dale’s.  Jay not so much for god knows what reason he was spared.

So instead of reliving their adult stages for any longer than I need to, Virginia and Darrell were aged up to the age where they pretty much needed to be: elder.

“Wut?!  WAIT, I ain’t ready to get all old n’ shit yet!  I’m still too purdy to be saggin’!”

Just shut up and sparkle.

“I hate the world.”

“HAHA, my wife’s fartin’ sparkles all ovur the place, it’s so funny!”

“Not so funny wen ur fartin’ sparkles urself, isn’t it, Darrell dear?!  Happy fuckin’ burthday.”

“Oh, I think the sparkle fartin’ threw out mah back…”

Then on the first night where they slept in their new house, a robber came over.

“New legacy family, new suckers for me to steal from!  Hehehehe…”

“HOLY SHIT THIS FAMILY HAS AN ATTACK ROBOT!  FUCK THIS I’M OUTTA HERE!”

“An ATTACK ROBOT?!  WHERE?!”

Why the hell are you over here, VJ?

“Because I was smoking up in the backyard so dad didn’t see me and I came over to watch the robber now WHERE THE HELL IS THE ATTACK ROBOT, I JUST SHIT MYSELF”

He’s in the backyard dreaming about Veggie Tales, which is exactly where the robber cut through to get back to the warehouse.

“Zzzz… no Larry you stay out of my microwave wife… zzzz… bad cucumber…”

“MONSTER!  IT WANTS TO KILL ME”

The typical fearful reaction to poor Nascar.  It’s not just the people of Twinbrook apparently.

After watching the robber flee the lot with her pissed stained pants, I scrolled back to the front yard just to find that Deborah had gotten out of bed with the sole purpose to come to the front yard to insult VJ.

“Hah!  I bet the lil’ muslim boy was helpin’ the robber find our hawse in the first place!  Why don’t yew just go back to Iraquhbod ‘r Alpacastan befur I hit yew with our robot!”

And thus Deborah starts a Hick-American/Muslim-Descendant neighbor feud.  Gee, good job, you ignorant bitch.

“Now that was uncalled for lady!  I’ll have you know me and my dad and my brother are all americans and I don’t appreciate your comments!  I may be evil, but I ain’t a bitch like you!”

Afterwards, I made her apologize for her rudeness, but VJ rejected it.  And I don’t blame him.

“HAH.  That’ll show her.”

Sadly, it probably will since she’s such a closet neat freak and all.  Surely it will ruin Deborah’s day when she realized you knocked over her empty trash can.

“Damn, all this excitement tonight’s given me the munchies.”

No, I’m pretty sure that’s something else.

“I thought I told yew, yew needed a boob job woman!”

“But Fo-Twenny…”

“Nuh-uh, I ain’t foolin’ round wid yew til yew get this problem fixed!”

The only explanation on why they won’t woohoo.  Even with their relationship all the way up and both are in the green, they wouldn’t touch each other.  Dipshits.

Dale told Deborah to go wash clothes or something instead, because she did, and went to go nap in the backyard for whatever.

“Dang, why is the lil’ islawmic boy still on our yard?!  I thought our attack robot took care of yew!”

“I’m not islamic Mr. Secksie sir!  And I can’t go home right now, my dad will kill me if he finds out I was stoned again!  Please, just let me crash here for a few hours more!”

“Why the hell did you and your hick family have to come to our nice town and trash it up like this?!  Huh!?  We worked hard to keep our town nice and we don’t want you bringing your redneck ways to our Sunset!  Pack your trash and take that shit back to Twinbrook where it belongs!”

“Oh mah Gawd Nascar, who the fuck’s this guy n’ why’d yew let’im in the hawse?!”

“That’s my new best friend!  He’s so nice to me ‘n likes that I’m a robot!  I just met’em today!  We’re buddies :D”

Finally, after a quick romp through City Hall, Dale and Deborah finally made it work out, and a new baby is finally on the way!

“Time to do the pregnant dance, weeee!”

“Yeah baby!  *Hic* Shake what your mama *hic* gave you!”

“Uh…”

Nascar: “I slipped some JD in his Pepsi so he’d stop yellin’ at Dixie <_<”

“Dale baby, I haven’t seen yew since yesturday mawnin’ wen we were checkin’ out the back of the judge’s bench!  But I gawt gud news baby!  We may be able to save our relationship yet!  I’m pregnant!”

“*gasp* OH!….”

“…Say something!”

“… Do yew think this town has a bar?!”

*facepalm*

“Hey yew ole’ bitch, I thought the grim reaper took care of ur old ass.”

JAY!  That’s not a very nice thing to say!

“Well wut do ya want frum me?!  I was gonna go pee and then go to bed, but then she came in heer and now MY WHOLE NIGHT’S RUINED”

Oh screw you, Jay.

A ghost haunting in a ghost haunting?

Possession! 😀

Ok, no more bad inception meme jokes.

YAY!

Not really, that’s still gross.

“Aw, the mirror is all broken so now I can’t really see my cute little brooding face that so many people love me for…”

“Hey lil’ boy, do you like training balls?!”

OH JEEZ.  Where’s Chris Hansen when you need him?!

“Meh meh meh, I’m Dale ‘n I’m such a big fan of eminem n’ snoop dawg, but I can’t git a job n’ get outta my mommy’s place n’ support my baby mama ‘cuz I’m really a lil bitch”

Sinbad’s Portrait: “Yep, she’s my descendant, alright.”

“Bitch, don’t yew start talkin’ shit to me!  If yew ain’t happy wid the way I run my shit yew can get the fuck out n’ I can start over with any of these new town hoes, yew hear me?!”

“Oh Dale, ur so sexy wen ya scream at me.”

“I know baby, I’m so turned on too…”

They literally do this all the time now.  They fight, then they flirt.  Typical relationship I guess…

“Hey Dixie.  Since ur my best friend in the world, I guess yew gotta know that I’m havin’ ur brothur’s baby.  I hope ur ok wid’ this.”

“That’s ok, Deb’ruh.  I’m gonna have a baby too!  We can be baby buddies!”

Then they went and started all kinds of wishes to touch on and listen to each other’s tummies.  BFFs for life I suppose.

“Hey there lil’ baby!  I’m gonna be ur A’nt Dixie!”

“Aww, hello there!  I’m gonna be ur A’nt Deb’ruh!”

“An’ I’m the Cousin Adriane!  Where’s the waffles?”

“Screw yew, yew don’t count, purple lady.”

“Humph, I can’t believe mah gurlfrien’s pregnant n’ now I’m gonna be stuck wid’ some kid the rest of mah life n’ now I won’t have no money to spend on mahself…”

“Aw, now don’t think like that, Dale!  I said the same thing about Florence, and I regretted it for the rest of my life!  Children are joys, and I hope you learn that soon.”

“Oh screw yew Gudwin!  I don’t even know why I sed it wus ok fur yew to be my workout buddy.”

“OH MAH GAWD, OH MAH GAWD IT’S COMIN, IT’S COMIN…”

“ACHOO!”

Dammit, I’m not in the mood for your false alarms, Deborah.

“That’s ok ‘cus that sneeze triggurd’ the labur’ OH GOD BABY”

“WUT THE HELL, YEW CAN’T JUS’ LEAVE THESE DURTY DISHES IN THE LIVIN’ ROOM”

“Yew sure ur ok to drive, Deborah?”

“Oh sure, nothin’ like holdin’ a baby’s head frum slidin’ outta ur cervix while stuck behind an asshole onna’ bike on the way to the hospital, I got this shit”

“… somethin’ tells me ur bein’ sarcastic, dear.”

“OH GOD, WHY AM I AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN I KNEW THIS SHIT WAS GOING TO GO DOWN”

“Ugh, I hate it already.”

Actually, I was really thrilled about the new generation being born.  It wasn’t until Deborah brought it home and it started screaming about nothing did I really start hating the kid.

“Where the hell were you?!  Deborah already took the new baby home, and you’re just now arriving, you dipshit.”

“Naw man, I was busy doing stuff at the park.”

“Funny faces with Nick Alto aren’t as important as your first born, Dale.”

“Wutever, just listen to me, bitch.  I was thinkin’ bout my baby the whole time, I swear.  So it’s mah son, right?  ‘Wus thinkin’ bout namein’ mah new boy Lil Fo-Twenny, wut’cha think bout that?”

“NO, Dale.  No gangsta’ names for the infant.  I’m serious.”

“Wut?  Well how bout… Lil Twenny then?”

“No means NO, Dale.”

“Well shit… how bout Dale Jr?”

“Go HOME, Dale.”

And the new baby!  Meet Patriot, not really named after anyone really.  More like after the feeling that we still have over the whole Osama thing we still got going on.  Patriot is a brave virtuoso, which might make sense about the fact that he has the nerve to just scream and scream and scream about nothing.

“Practicin’ fur a heavy metal band one day.  Now give me ATTENTSHUN”

Patriot’s crib is set in the hallway outside of his parents bedroom, watched over by his great-great-grandpa Jed and great grandpa Jared.

“Because yew just can’t escape the incest, can yew?”

Shut up, at least I’m out of Twinbrook, that was roughly 95% Secksies in the end anyway!

And right after she had her baby, Deborah went back to being the house’s unofficial maid.

“Do yew SEE this stack of dishes?!  This is wut happens wen I git distracted by things like pregnancy!  Shit gets outta hand!”

For the record, Deborah is actually not a neat sim.  I never got around to introducing her traits either, didn’t I?

Deborah is a neurotic, mean-spirited, family-orientated, artistic, born saleswoman.  She wants to be a home design hotshot, which I should get her started on soon if she ever wants to see the end of that wish.

There are just so many things wrong in this photo.

“I agree!  Sunset just doesn’t have the wind to whip mah hair around ridin’ on this thing, and no one is lookin’ at how bad-ass I am on the Harley Beast!”

I was talking about how heavily pregnant you are while riding on it, but ok.

“Wow, dang!  Sunset really has such nice beaches compared to the puh’lluted waturs of Twinbrook!  This is so nice out heer!”

“Aw, wut a purdy lil butterfly, even though it just commited suicide impalin’ itself on mah hat like this.  Oh well, time to feed it to the fishies then.”

“OK, ENOUGH OF THIS NATURE SHIT, THE BABY’S COMIN OUT NOW”

“What the hell lady?!  Don’t go into labor on our beaches and splatter your uterus juices all over the public park!  People might want to sunbathe there in a future EP one day or something!  Think about the rest of us before you break out into labor, lady!”

“…Did she really just git all pissy ’bout my watur breakin’?! Does Dixie hav’ta choke a bitch?”

Oh Jesus, I keep forgetting how far this lot is to the rest of Sunset!  I’m so sorry Dixie for making you walk so far back to the road.

“It’s ok, I can tough it out, justta’ mattur of where I parked the motorcycle n’ ridin’ it to the hospital without the baby slippin’ out on the pavement ‘r somethin.”

Yeah, screw all that, if it were me, I’d call an ambulance to meet me at the beach.

“I have this sudden feelin’ I should be somewhere else… but I can’t put my finger on it.”

How about the hospital?

“Mmm, I don’t think so.  Maybe I’ll just go watch tv instead or somethin’.”

Seriously?  Are all the men in this generation this useless?

And, it’s another boy.  This one is Dallas, because I don’t know.  He loves the outdoors, and something else I don’t remember right now.

“Oh hell, I’m a married man now to Paulina, so I swear that that isn’t my baby!  I don’t know why the kid looks like me, but there is NO way it’s my kid!  I ain’t claiming it!”

It’s not your kid, Hank, but he is technically your grandson. Don’t be such a moron.

Aren’t you going to yell at Jay for missing the birth of his own son, Dixie?

“SHHH, nawt right now, football’s on”

The biggest distraction in a redneck’s life, why am I not suprised.

Next time, there may be a birthday or two, and who else did I pack into this new town with the Secksies?  Will Deborah ever reconcile her problem with VJ, or will she continue sterotyping the Alvi’s like the dumb hick she is deep down?  Will Gunther get the stick out of his butt about Twinbrook people coming through his idyllic Sunset?  Later.