The Glitch That Killed Twinbrook

Alright ladies and germs, we got some serious shit goin’ down in this chapter!

Ok, maybe not really.  I thought it was pretty important though.  I don’t know.

First off, we start with… Virginia wanting to sex up a maid chick?

Damn Darrell, when did you have time for a sex change?!

“I’m a lil’ uncomfurtabul wid’ my dawghtur’s boyfrien’ sittin’ on our bedroom couch in his skivvies.  I just had this couch cleaned.”

“Hey, I’m just as uncomfurtabul that ur really a chick now under all that clothin’.  Weirdo.”

After Darrell and Jay finally got off their butts, Dixie organized a wedding, and everyone headed over to the never used amphitheater on the outskirts of town.

Really?!

“YEAH son!  Gotta wear mah biggest bling to my sistuh’s weddin!  Gotta REPRUHSENT”

Not YOU, I was talking about the gaping hole in the ground behind you.  Thanks a lot Dodge.

“Well hey, I bought the entertainment!  Time to git sum Beastie Boys up in heer!”

*Turns on classical*

“Hey Vurginyuh!  I haven’t talked to yew personally since ur fathur chased me out of the haws-uh, well, nice day fur our dawghtur’s weddin’ don’t cha think?”

“Haha!  I have no idea who yew are mistur.”

“Um, me, Sheldon?  Dixie’s burth fathur?”

“Yeah, wut are ya supposed to be my romantic interest on the side, right?  I really have no recollectshun of who yew are…Get to know action!”

Way to forget completely about him, Virginia.

“Oh, I’ll git yew to remembur me, Vurginyuh…”

Just go somewhere else you creepy fuck.

“Must nawt starve on my dawghtur’s weddin’ day…”

Meanwhile, R.P. didn’t even come in his formal, the fat slack ass.

“Dude, yew should really see a doctur’ bout the hole in ur chest!  Yew can stick ur hole arm through it!”

“Meh, it’s just botfly holes.”

“Those are botfly holes?!”

Good God, you two are gross.

“I, the mother of the groom, Paulina, do not approve of my son’s wedding outfit.”

Why, what’s wrong with it?

OH.  Dammit, I thought I fixed that!

“Yay, I don’t know why I’m so excited bout seein’ my best friend’s penis!”

Probably because you don’t have one yourself or deep down you are Warren reincarnate.

Dammit Virginia, I thought you were going to put pants on him!

“But he wanted a kilt fur his weddin’!”

But that’s not a kilt… oh never mind.

Damn Tammy, you slimmed down reasonably well.

“Wut can I say, soon after movin’ out I realized that I wanna have a healthy fit life, n’ now I work out every day to a music workout reguh’min.”

Well, good for you.

Her sister Danica, on the other hand, still can’t lay off the cobbler.

“Can’t… make it… gone… five minutes… without moon pie… need… buffet tabul…”

“Ok everyone, me and Jay are gettin’ married now… uh dad, stop grindin’ up against A’nt Jurry, that’s so wrong…”

“OMG CHESS IS SO GANGSTA”

Happy little wedding shot, which would have been absolutely perfect in every way if Nascar’s ringing butt wasn’t ruining the shot.

“Just gonna pretend my cell phone’s nawt ruinin’ a weddin’ at all, just gonna let it ring, la de da…”

“OH SHIT PAULINA IS HERE HIDE THE HOT GUYS”

“As am I, old Poi Boi, still crashing all the parties, hell yeah”

“Alright, now that my dawghtur’s all grown up, found happiness, and had the best weddin’ this family’s ever seen, I’m off to work.”

“Really dude?!  That’s not cool!  It’s your daughter’s own wedding and you’re just going to bale right after the ceremony?!  What’s wrong with you?!”

Shut up Darrell-clone, at least he stayed to watch his daughter get married!  Guess who decided to leave not long after arriving though?!  That’s right, Sheldon, her own father!  So screw you, at least Darrell had the balls not to bale on her when she really needed her, unlike that prick Sheldon!

“Oh gawd, there she is, right across the yard.  I gotta go ovur there, n’ impress her…”

“Hey baby, did yew know that I recently had a birthday?!”

“Oh mah gawd, so amazing”

Needless to say, Dale had his birthday ages ago.  I have no idea why he still insists on announcing that to everyone.

“I wanna fork yew.”

“Ooh, so romantic.”

Not subtle at all, are you, Dale.

“Oh yeah, I’m soooo gonna get laid tonight.”

Meanwhile, the party ended with Virginia falling in the hole, because the death of the mother-in-law really ruins everyone’s mood for a wedding.

“I’m nawt dead though!”

Just ruins it.

“I can’t believe I’m sneakin’ off wid my best friend’s brothur… she’ll kill me if she finds out where I’m goin’…”

“Yo bitch, I ain’t got all night fur yew to get in my truck, hurry the hell up”

“So, yew ready to start baby makin’, Jay?!”

“Yew bet I am, gurl!  I’ve been practicin’ this all my life, wid pillows!  Ain’t that right, lil buddy?”

“… please don’t tell me yew hump our pillows…”

Meanwhile, while Jay was ruining it for Dixie, someone else was getting their freak on down the hall.

“OHMAHGAW THIS IS BETTUR THAN WUT IT LOOKS LIKE ON CINEMAX”

I went back to the amphitheater while everyone was porking at the house, because watching sims sex each other is a little weird to begin with, and guess who’s still here.

“What a beautiful wedding and what a lovely outdoor party”

Poi Boi, the party ended HOURS ago!  Go home already, damn.

I really do love Jay.  He laughs at everything where ever he goes.  So jolly and cheerful and sometimes so stupid

“Haha, the tv’s busted and brokun to shit LOLOLOLOL”

“So, last night was GREAT, Fo-Twenny!  Can’t yew tell I’m ready fur a lil’ mawnin’ action as well?  Why else do yew think I stayed way past my visitin’ hour!  Let’s do it again!”

“No!”

“Wut?”

“I ain’t ur purformin’ pig, I won’t just go fur yew whenever yew fell like it!”

“But Fo-Twenny…”

“NO bitch, go make me a sammich ‘r somethin’.”

You’ll never impress her with that kind of attitude Dale.

OH MY GOD.  DON’T TELL ME THAT YOU’RE…

“Fat?  Yeah, I grew up still purdy chunky.  Why, don’t tell me yew thought I wus pregnant!  Jeez!  I mean, the only guy I know is my own brother, ‘n yew know that didn’t happen.”

Thank GOD.  Because if you and Richard Petty got together somehow… you know what, I’m leaving this alone.

“Yep, she’s just fat.  Jus’ luk at these rolls under her arms.  Bitch could be hidin’ Jimmy Hoffa in there.”

“Suriously Dale, fuck off.  I’m fat, I get it.”

Well that’s just lovely.

That’s even lovelier.

“What?  Nudists in Twinbrook?!  Ugh, I can’t believe I refuse to die for this shit.”

“Hey!  Edith baby!  Ur all grown up now!  Damn gurl, ur even hotter than I remember!”

“Thanks Dale.  I managed to avoid ur mothur n’ her green flower pattern of death, n’ I was tryin’ fur an artsy luk!  Wut do ya think?”

“Oh gurl.  Ur so beautiful.”

“Yew really think so, Dale?”

“Yew bet doll face!  I wouldn’t even look at any other gurl wid a hot gurlfrien’ like yew!”

…Whore.

“Don’t judge me ok?!  Man’s got needs.”

…Whore.

Oh yeah, Deborah got a makeover, because since she’s technically part of the family now, I can’t have her running around with the same pattern as Virginia.  You would think I wouldn’t get those two confused, but I do <_<

A nice little outfit fit for a hooker

“*snicker* How much you think she goes for, Zooey?!”

“Be nice Francis.  Not all prostitutes can afford nice clothing.”

“The broken sink’s all her fault!”

It is not, I sat here and watched you break the sink.

“ALL HER FAULT I TELL YA!  FUCK HER!”

Jeez Deborah, anger managment much.

Oh, did you know that Virginia’s name is glitched?  I figured I should mention this.

Yeah, no matter how many times I change her name back to Secksie, it goes back to the name Darrell gave her when they married.  And I’ve fixed it numerous times.  And it’s not any crashes before saves that are messing me all up, because all the kids names stayed changed as Secksie.  Just Virginia, the last Adair in the house.  If anyone downloads her, tell me if her name is still Adair there too, because she won’t stay a Secksie.

Now, while I’m on the topic of glitches, might as well mention the big glitch that tried to screw me out of my own legacy.

“This couch is digging into my legs”

So, I got what I think was the same glitch Adriane pretty much died of on the porch.  Only this time, it affected everyone in the legacy.

“Yeah, I’ve been standin’ heer fur about two days now… Kinda starvin’ and shit…”

Reset sims stopped working a long time ago, the clipboard trick would only work for a few seconds, and moving them out all together and then back in wasn’t doing squat.

My legacy was finally dying.

So I said, “you know what, FUCK Twinbrook.”

“Wakin’ in the mawnin’ feelin’ like P Did… wait a damn minute… This isn’t my bed… this isn’t my room either.”

“Wut the- this isn’t my living room!  Wut the hell’s goin’ on here?!”

“This… this isn’t my front yard!”

“This isn’t my hawse!”

“This isn’t my neighbur’hood!”

“This isn’t even my town!  WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!”