The Triple Legacy Spooktacular Part 1

Check it out, long time no see, on this blog anyway.  I haven’t updated in 100 years!! (10 months) This is not a legacy update, per se, but instead, it’s a Halloween special, just like I had a couple years back!  I thought that thing needed a sequel, as all good things need sequels!  Lots and lots of sequels.  Sequels make the best movies.

This three part special will involve all my legacies up to date, and took almost two years planning (but only 4 days of actual work, heh, lame) None the less, sit back and I hope you enjoy this 3 part special that was almost 2spooky for theaters!

It takes place on a small, isolate stretch fall off in the hills.  Probably near Moonlight Falls.  Nowhere near Midnight Hollow because that would be too damn nice.

“I think everything’s set for this party.  Maybe it won’t be as much of a failure like it was the last time.  Honestly.  Who drives a Dodge through a living room?  Barbarians.”

“Ick, the guests should be arriving soon.  No crazies at this party this year, and nothing too important for them to destroy.  Not a hair out of place, everything in it’s proper location, though I will say this corset is crushing my left boob.”

“Oh what if I put out too many pumpkins?  This is too many damn pumpkins.  Is this why I don’t hold parties on a regular basis?”

“Yo, is this the Halloween Beach party?!  You’re Sabrina, right?”

“Ah, and you must be Gengar!  How is the Rainbowcy going?”

“Well, Shane’s actually a hard man to track down and spend time with.”

“Fantastic!  I think your costume is really nice!  Skeletons are always in fashion!”

“It wasn’t my first outfit of choice actually!  I had something else in mind, something much cooler!  But when I tried to get it, shit went down!  I think that damn outfit may have even caused all of Hidden Springs to want to disappear right off the map!  “Missing expansion pack data” my ass!  That’s the last time I order something off Ebay with less than 95% recommendation.”

“I am sorry to hear that.  Please enjoy the party though!”

“I swear if you lead me into the wrong person’s yard again and get us cussed out, I’m going to leave you here when I go back to Hidden Springs.  I’ll even ship your stupid little wife and kid here to stay with you.  Or I may just bake them into a pie, I don’t care which.”

“I promise!  The GPS has got it this time, I know we are at the right place this go around!”

“Ah, you two must be here for my party!”

“You’re Sabrina?  Cool.  This party doesn’t cost me anything right?  Because I’m not paying anyway.  We’ve come all this way for a free party, you hear?”

“I’m sure the party is free, Jealousy.  It would have listed a price or something on the invitations if it weren’t, you know?”

“Shut the hell up, Happiness.  What I don’t get is why have a party out here in the middle of an abandoned beach on short term.  Explain that to me, simself woman, because it would be just as easy to have one in my backyard.”

“Trust me, the beach is the safest place.  No houses to burn down, nothing to break, and no one is around to question what we are doing here.  Isolation is good.  I know it’s no Isla Paradiso like you probably want, but it does the job.”

“Fine, I’ll buy that.  It’s the only thing I’m buying.  That buffet table better have a mini bar.  This fucking dress is chaffing my armpit.”

“By the way, I think someone’s glitching out on their way to your party, or someone got over excited with the body paint.”

“Bear?  Is that you?!  I don’t think I’ve seen a toy soldier outfit as dedicated as yours is!”

“Huh?  We’ll I try ‘ta be a lil’ professional, I guess yew can say…”

“I saw that much green from down the street and I had a horrible flashback to when your mother was at the last party.  Never have I ever seen so much green worn on such a skank before.  But there’s no way you’re anything like Bella, ha ha ha!  Well I wouldn’t really mind if you wore a little something that was a little revealing, if you don’t mind me saying…”

“Ah, yew ain’t gotta worry about that.  I think my niece has the “revealing” part down fur us.”

“You gotta be kidding me.”

“Playboy bunny in the house!  Haha!  Sorry, this outfit wus a lil’ las’ minute, I found it in a trunk of great grandmam’s titled “Bella’s Fun-fits”, an’ I swear, I wore more clothin’ that one time I went streakin’ through my school’s cafeteria in nothin’ but ‘uh napkin than wut I’m wearin’ now!  But ya’ll gotta admit, I’m a damn fine chunka cheese in this git-up!”

“You’re a chunk of something, that’s for damn sure.”

“It’s alright, if I stand over here ‘n stare inna’ space long enough, I can almost block out what my niece is sayin’.”

“This is YOUR fault, Youtube!  If this damn computer would have that damn Seasons expansion installed, we could have a decent Spooky day celebration and a decent fall seasons than this half ass holiday rendition!”

“How the hell is that MY fault, Facebook?!  We just test the EPs, we don’t actually have anything do to with how they get on here!”

“Like hell you do!  You’re the computer nerd in the family, so why haven’t you gotten that fixed already?”

“What the hell is going on over here with you two?!”

“Facebook is saying your party sucks wienie.”

“I did not say anything of the sort.  Stop twisting my words, Youtube, you douche sack.  I said that this party sucks balls, and those are two different parts of the body.”

“Mmhmm.  So what are you two supposed to be?”

“Well I am Link, hero of time, savior of Hyrule and the Princess Zelda!  And I think my brother is supposed to be some sort of gay cowboy.”

“Aw come on!  You know exactly what I’m supposed to be!  I’m a member of the scouting legion from Attack on Titan!  Remember, I at least got you to watch the show with me!”

“Yeah, I wasn’t watching it, when you had it on.  I was too busy touching myself to Zelda nudes on my smartphone while you were playing that stuff.”

“What?!  DUDE!  I was RIGHT there!”

“The party doesn’t start until I pop every single one of these balloons!  Bwahaha!  There had better be some good rupees hidden in these things!”

“For someone who seems really keen on being Link for Halloween, nice sandals.”

“It’s a beach party you green asshole!  Link can be environmentally stylish too!”

*Proceeds to wipe boogers on the balloons*

“Aw, cut that out you nasty freak!  Balloons aren’t cheap!”

“If anything, you go wipe that mess on Happiness, like the hunk of garbage that he is!”

“Heeyy…”

“Aw, crap, my paint’s starting to crack off!  I don’t need this stuff to peel off so quickly, I have to go the rest of the night with this stuff on!”

“Well I’m fairly certain it will stay on a little better if you don’t bend your elbow at such an unnatural angle.  Just a tidbit that might be helpful, you know.”

“Yo, are we going to shoot these fireworks off or not?  Because I got to say, if we don’t, I’m probably going to steal at least one of them.  Or all of them.  They don’t look like they are worth a lot.  So I want them.”

“I’m not sure what to respond with for that.”

“Ah, sure we can, um… light these things… I don’t really like fireworks, I don’t really like loud flashy things at all really, um…” *Sets dress hem on fire*

“Uaaah!  Out of my way!  And you!  Go wash your hands already!”

“Fine!  I’m cleaning my hands off now”

“Wiping them on your pants doesn’t count, you dumbass.”

“Tell me when it’s over!  UGH!  Tell me when the loud noises are over!”

“DOES THIS MEAN THE FIREWORKS ARE GOING TO BE BAD?!”

“I think they are just regular fireworks, you green twit.  Calm your shit.”

“I thought they were supposed to be little pumpkin fireworks.  I don’t know what that’s supposed to be.”

“Maybe it’s an albino pumpkin.”

“Probably.”

“Now that that nightmare is over, let’s get down to the fun part, shall we!  Everyone line up!  We are going to take a trip through the Spooky House!  Everyone on board?!”

“I guess.  It’s not a Halloween without a haunted house tour after all.”

“Welcome to the Old Moonlight Falls Mausoleum.  It was built in 1788, but abandoned soon after, because they say it was built on cursed land.  Legend goes that the bodies here were not laid to rest properly, and at night, when you walk the beach, you can still hear their cries for a proper resting place.”

“Now we are getting somewhere!  This is the party I was hoping this party would be!”

“Actually I’m uncomfortable with this.  If this place is really that old, how safe is this going to be?”

“Don’t be a lameass, Bear.”

“Trust me, you are with me, and I can reassure you that this is the safest place in the county!  This mausoleum was built with a sturdy, multilevel basement, with indestructible steel walls.  This place is absolutely perfect.”

“Once we get inside, you will all see what horrors await you.  I will seal you all up, nice and tight, and that’s when the real fun begins for me.”

“For all of us, I mean!  Of course, you know, hahaha!”

“If you can call it fun for you…”

“Huh?  What was that?”

“Nothing Happiness…”

“Wait, something’s a little odd about this…”

“Come on, Happiness.  You’re thinking too hard.”

“I guess.”

“Well, where’s the horror?  All I see is an empty doorway and some stairs.”

“You have to be patient, Jealousy…”

“The horror is down the bottom of the stairs.  Follow me.”

“Oh shit, son.  I donno’ bout you guys, but that stairwell looks dark as sin.  This is nawtta’ gud idea at all.”

“You gonna be ok, Bear?  You aren’t scared of ghosts are you?”

“Him?  Scared of ghosts?  I donno’ bout yew, genie boy, but if there’s one thing mah Unca’ Bear ain’t scared of, it’s some ghosts.  That’s fur damn sure.”

“Well, I’m not waiting around for you pansies to make up your minds on whether or not you’re going through this haunted house or not.  I’m getting my damn money’s worth if it’s the last thing I do at this stupid party.”

“We didn’t spend money at this party, for the last time, Jealousy.”

“Can’t you shut the hell up for one minute, Happiness?”

“Alright, we all made it down here.  That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“I don’t know guys.  This doesn’t look like a mausoleum to me.  More like an old busted warehouse?”

“Yeah, this has storage building written all over it.”

“No Happiness, this is more of some sort of bomb shelter.  But who would build a bomb shelter on a beach?”

“Perhaps a bit of both?  Maybe all three?  A mausoleum-bunker-warehouse doesn’t sound that bad of an idea for a business, maybe!”

“It’s old, it’s grimy, and this sea air is making my underwear moist!  This was the lamest haunted house tour I’ve ever been on!  Nice try Sabrina, but it wasn’t a nice try!  Try not to be so lame next year, why don’t you?!”

“Why… I’ll be sure to tell Sabrina that the next time I see her…”

“WHOA, that creeped me the fuck out.  Hah… ha ha.  That was a good one Sabrina.  Don’t do that again.”

“Facebook, let go of my arm.  It was just some weird trick she did with her voice, that was all!  But why do I feel like there’s ice running down my spine all of a sudden…”

“You brainless peons really are more pathetic than you look, really.  I don’t even see why Sabrina even bothers to pay so much attention to you fucks.  Honestly, I’ve never wasted so much time to deal with a bunch of people who waste so much time.”

“What are you even talking about?  That was quite hurtful, you know.  You don’t have to talk to us like that.”

“Happiness is right, that was a little out of line.  If you are trying to scare us, it’s not really working.  Now come on, Sabrina.  Let’s do this haunted house thing or let’s go home, ok?”

“Haven’t you idiots figured it out, by now?!  I’m not Sabrina, I never was!”

“Yeah yeah.  If you aren’t her, then who are you, “Oh, Mysterious One”?”

“If you are so curious, allow me to show you who I really am!”

“Whoa this is a pretty good effect actually.”

“Fool!  This is no effect!  Behold, I am your bringer of Death…”

“For it is I!”

“I?”

“Yes, I.”

TO BE CONTINUED ON THE FISBI.