The Little Mermaid Fight Club

You know why I love wordpress?  Because I finally finished uploading these final pictures for the last chapters weeks ago, and I’ve always put the pictures together in a chapter one by one.  Every single one, and that’s at least 5000 pictures.

Now they just recently came out with an update on wordpress where I can insert multiple pictures, or whole chapters, up at one time.

Thank you WordPress.  You do this on purpose.

I know there were easier options I could have done, but I’m hardheaded, stubborn, and so I probably deserved that.  Moving on anyway.

Prepare yourself, because this chapter has an ass-ton of notification shots.  It’s going to be that kinda chapter.

“Golly bum, I sure do luv me sum great grammbabiers.  They jus’ pawp’ on outta my grandson’s baby mama like no tomorruh.  Lookit’ dere, ‘nother one jus’ popped outta the wood work!  I wonder where in our lineage that blawnde’ hair came from…”

“Oh, I’m nawt wunna’ yall… I’m jus’ here to do homework… that’s all…”

While we were visiting the Bayless’ house, Max Racket was also here.  And apparently because of that, the game wanted to tell me Max’s life story for the week…

Sugar dumped her bad boy bf apparently and is now back to doing old codgers.  This time it’s Max, who I didn’t even remember or not if he left his original wife.

If he hasn’t, it isn’t stopping him from having babies with other women, namely Clark’s once again ex wife.  I mean, I don’t blame her, especially since all her ex does is chase little girls around at the park now.  Creeper.

Anyhow, this notification popped up right after Sugar announced she was with Max, so he thinks he’s some big player.

THEN RIGHT AFTER, Kat announced that she in turn was sleeping with Marshall…

WHO THEN in turn announced that he was still sleeping with Cherish, whom he had JUST divorced that morning.

I swear, it’s like a human centipede of humping.

And then, back at the head of this centi-orgy, Max added another woman to his collection, this time it’s Elissa, while they were talking in the Bayless kitchen about how Elissa’s baby daddy just died.

“I’m so heartbroken!  I have one of his babies and he died before he could change his will to say all his possessions were to go to me and our son!  Now Gwayne owns everything, and I didn’t even get the good china!”

“It’s ok, there there, Elissa.  I will be your friend… (friend with benefits, hehe… *”I’m nailing Elissa” notification*)”

This doesn’t count, Max.

“Well.  THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR SLEEPING WITH A HICK IN A SHACK!  DON’T LOOK AT ME, I’M NOT SAVING YOU FROM THIS DUMP, MY MANOR IS MY MANOR!”

“Oh sob, Pappy would never flip and freak out on me like this!  He’d just take a couple of beers to the porch and sit outside until I was done crying!  Not yell at me like that!”

Can you tell how much of a ladies man Max is?

In midst of all that confusion, HB somehow made off with Sinbad’s… uh, bunny statue.

I suppose it’s just as well.  He really doesn’t need it.

“Aww, yew gonna carve an ole’ ice scuplture of lil’ ole me?  Ain’t that sweet.”

“Yep, just stand still right quick and I will capture your very essence…”

“Ta da!  I am done!  I would like to call this one The Bitch with the Massive Chip on her Shoulder.”

“I really jus’ wanna kick you outta the household, Opal.”

“I’m sorreh, Sugah.  Yew can’t jus’ wash the dishes in the tub today.”

“Oh, why nawt?”

“It’s filthy as hell.  The kids went swamp-stompin’ and I haven’t had time to clean it out yet.”

“Oh ok then.”

Route failure at it’s finest.

Good thing ghosts don’t really have that problem.

“Saw faster, my love!  I… can no longer feel my legs… I think this is the end for me, Opal.  Goodbye my love…”

“Dammit, Bear.  Get out of my ice block and go make dinner already.”

“Yes dear.”

And now, for Egret’s birthday.

She is now quiet pretty too 🙂

HB ON THE OTHER HAND

“I HAVE SEEN SOME SHIT”

Go AWAY, HB.

“Oh NO!  I’m leakin’!  This is terrible!  It must be because I hit puberty!”

“Naw, you’re jus’ wettin’ urself.  Secksie tradition.  It jus’ proves ur a Secksie through ‘n through.  Now go take a bath.”

“Well, butter my butt ‘n call me a buscuit!”

“Wut.”

“Ain’t yew jus’ blossumin’ into a purdy young lady, Fancy!  Makes me feel better that my ex wife left fur every other man in town!”

“I’m sure there’s a reason for that, Clark.”

“Wutt’re we doin’ here today guys?  A ghost story?  I wanna get in on this!”

“Um, Eagle.  No.  NO, Eagle!  DAMMIT”

“EAGLE GET UR ASS OFF OUTTA MY FACE”

He just wants to fit in, Egret.

“-N’ that wus my ghost story, ’bout how mah beloved papa is no longer wid us… *sniff*”

“Yo HB, ur story was shit!  Yew couldn’t tell a gud ghost story if it jumped up ‘n bit you on the… NO CLARK, I DO NAWT WANNA PLAY HAND GAMES WITH YOU BEHIND A PARK BENCH”

“But… I play the best rounds of patty cake :(”

“But grandpa died… how can yew be so heartless, Fancy…”

“How can yew be such a baby, GAW”

The family love, it’s here :3

“Oh yeah, gonna sit and talk to someone and actually get a friend for once!”

“Sigh… I knew I should have just stayed home and had babies all day.”

I’m surprised she decided to sit there the whole time.  She didn’t talk to Eagle, but she didn’t leave.  How nice.

“I didn’t bring any money wid’ us guys.  And I AIN’T washin dem’ nasty-ass dishes.  I had jus’ got my cuticles did.”

“Sigh, I’ll take care of the bill.  Again.”

Back at home, Ken is hanging out tonight, once again trying to “be” the art.

“Look, I’m NOT going to ‘carve’ you out of the ice like I did for Bear.  You can move on now, buster.”

“Aw…”

“I hope you do a gud job on my statue, honey!  Here is my hero pose!”

*SHATTER*

“DAMMIT”

“Honey, wut’s tha’ matter?”

“I broke your statue all over the place!  I just can’t do anything right!  Sob!”

“Aw, don’t cry dear.  You will do one again next time, and it will be better and bigger than that one!  I think you are a great artist!”

“Sniff, thanks dear.”

So supportive, I love these two.

“Da da da, dadada!  Who’s ready fur sum’ gud ole’ PROOOOOOOOM?!”

“Oh jeez.”

I have to admit, proms are still the highlight of my teen sim experience.

“It’s nawt fair…  I don’t wanna be the only one that doesn’t go to prom…”

Sorry, kid.  That’s what you get for being born late.  Maybe you will get your own prom when you are a teen.  Probably not.

“Do we really gotta wait on them two to come to the prom?  They are makin’ us late!”

“Yeah, Fancy.  Mama ‘n daddy said we can’t leave them behind jus’ to get to prom before the punch is spiked.”

“Yeah, but they float around sooo slowly… why can’t all the other ghosts figure out how to walk around normally like Unca’ Bear?”

“Humph, jus’ cuz’ I can’t go to prom, doesn’t mean I’m nawt going to prom… I’ll jus’ stay out here all night long and watch through the window.”

That’s fine, Honey Boo.  What do you see?

“Oh lawd, a whole bunch of crap.  Hm, now I’m glad I missed out on this mess…”

Prepare yourself, here comes a shitstorm of notifications.  (And they are all bad quality because as soon as prom started, my dog hopped up on the computer and messed up the video size somehow):

The prom started innocently enough…  The usual denied dance from a crush, poor Fancy…

“I know as HELL you ain’t talkin’ to my crush, Fancy!”

“GIT YO STANKIN’ HANDS OFF OF ME BOY!  I’M TELLIN DADDY”

“FUCK YEW GUYS, THAT’S MAH MAN!  YALL’ BETTER BACK THAT SHIT OFF”

What the crap is the theme for this prom, Fight Club?

“Now while they are all fighting amongst themselves, this is my chance!  Come to me OH DAMMIT”

Eagle just fails in his own way.

“Prolly’ cuz all I can see is through a watery filter… kinda sucks being made outta water, you know?”

“OH LAWD, GRAMMAWMAW BELLA WAS RIGHT”

Yep, I’m really starting to think the theme is Fight Club.  A Little Mermaid Fight Club theme or something.

Do I need anymore proof for it?

“UGUUH, THE THEME IS INCREDIBLE FROM THIS HEADLOCK I AM IN”

“I DON’T CARE IF I’M STILL STUCK IN A DOGPILE, YEW AIN’T WEARIN’ ANOTHER TRANSPARENT PURPLE TUX, ASSHOLE”

“-But not peace at this prom, I’ll tell yew wut BITCH GIT OVER HERE, I’M GONNA LAY YOU OUT”

This is starting to become the most entertaining prom I’ve ever been part of.

Chemistry?

Wait

NO GUYS

NOT YOU TWO TOO

SHIT

YOU GUYS ARE COUSINS YOU WERE RAISED TOGETHER

“We were all bathed together too”

GAEAJFDIOAKGHLDKLAS

“BITCH, EAGLE IS MAH MAN, YEW AIN’T GAWT NO DATE”

JEEZ, GUYS.

Alright we get it, Eagle.  The theme is a Disney crab’s signature song.  You don’t have to be in awe of it every time someone punches you in the face.

“Too bad Eagle destroyed the seaworld themed backdrop early on, now we’re stuck wid’ the usual moon ‘n stars themed one :\”

“It’s alright, Beau, I already bodyslammed his ass on the dancefloor fur that mess.”

That they did.

“Alright, the idea is to be dainty and delicate, toss the football with elegance and grace, jus’ like this!”

“Am I doing it right now, Bear?”

“NO, YEW STUPID FUCKER!  I SAID DAINTY, NOT GIRLY!  GIT UR SHIT TOGETHER *pelt*”

“Owie, mommy :(”

At least they are bonding.

Alright, time is now here, for HB’s teen birthday.  A party was kinda had.

“Damn, this is one ugly trashy dump.  Who’d ever wanna come to live in a place like this?”

“Ooh, awkward.”

“‘Bout as awkward as her outfit too, Unca’ Bear.”

“I’m so happy to have made it this far!  I thought yew didn’t like me all that much!  It’s nice to make it to mah… *counts candles on the cake* third year birthday!”

I see the educational system isn’t wasted on you, dear.

Not too bad Dolly, I MEAN Honey Boo.  Anyway, she’s now an angler.

“We should all jus’ gown’head ‘n getta’ pontoon!”

Please, HB.  I’m too broke to even get the new Seasons EP.  You can’t even afford a floatie for the river at the moment, HAR HAR.

And for now, I am wrapping up this chapter.  This is the second to the last one guys, and we’re going to start with some of the last of the simself updates…

Dusty shames me, can’t find a quality man, and is now donating genes into the Bayless pool.  It’s ok Dusty, you weren’t ever my favorite anyway.

UGH, finally.  Now these two can stop being gross and date people outside their nuclear family for once…

OH, it’s going to be one of those “back-to-back-I-can’t-make-up-my-damn-mind” notifications.

“I couldn’t break up with her for long, I just find her so lovely.  And she’s also my ride home.  Also, she has my Xbox.”

You never should have happened, Garett.

Also, Skeet is now competing with Max for biggest manwhore in Twinbrook.  I think Skeet might be winning though, because he actually has no concept of contraception.

“Don’t be silly, let’s Free Willy!”

Moving along.

And what wouldn’t be a good notification update without some more incest?  There’s always room for more.

This time we have cousins in the Secksie lineage.  Make us proud you two.

Oh Ashley.  Not Clark.  Anyone but Clark.

You poor woman.

Well I suppose it was only a matter of time, they do have a kid between the two of them-

“I KNOW WE JUST GOT MARRIED BUT SCREW THIS ‘HO, SERIOUSLY”

“MARRIAGE BRINGS OUT THE WORST IN PEOPLE, AND I CAN SEE WHY”

Guys, you were only married for five seconds…

And last but not least, the simself kids from this generation.  Surprisingly, there weren’t as many as I thought there were, either that or kids are going missing again.  Maybe that’s just a “thing” Twinbrook citizens like to do…

Trevor was Sidney and Skehrer’s lady baby, and he was more or less abandoned with his big bro Sinbad when the women kinda disappeared off the face of the earth after they got married.

“I’m kinda sad, I suppose.”

Elissa’s baby with Pappy kinda dissappointed me.  He’s mama’s boy, not a damn trace of Pappy in Noah at all.

“Well I don’t wanna be able to fly around town on Dumbo ears, thank you very much.”

Good for you.

Hannah’s simself’s two kids with Phoenix Prudence, Lyndsey and Krissy.  Both very nice.

“Phoenix and Pansy who?”

My thought’s exactly.

And the last kid is Hannah’s simself’s, Benito is her only with DeAndre, another kid who’s mother doesn’t live with them, lord knows where she wondered off to.

“Oh Benito, daddy’s stuck in the door again.  Go get the socket wrench.”

“Sigh, dammit.  Now I know why mama left us.”

Well, next chapter

IS LAST CHAPTER

IT’S ALL THE PHOTOS I HAVE LEFT

I MADE IT GUYS

WE ARE ALMOST THERE

I’M MORE EXCITED THAN I SHOULD BE