Lookin’ for the Perfect Man

Wait a minute, this isn’t my philosophy homework!

Hmmmm….

Anyway, it’s time for generation two for the Southern Prettacy, and our heir, Luanne is growing up into a young adult, surrounded by her family and friends.

What is it with this girl about being bald?!

“Oh mah gawd, my eyes, I’m blind!  Even I couldn’t do her if I was her husband!”

Shut up Sinbad.  You don’t have to worry about being married to her.  The other men in town however…

“Here Luanne!  Have some CROTCH CAKE”

“Um, gee, thanks Abel?”

It’s also Jared’s birthday, and as much as I want to say I was excited at the time for him, I wasn’t.

Then he grew up as a toddler.

Everybody say: DAWWW!  He’s so cute!

He looks EXACTLY like a baby Sinbad.  I want to cuddle it D:

Luanne’s lifetime wish to be the leader of the free world (WHO DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING) and getting a job was the first thing she did.

“I finally have a job in pol’tics!  White hawse, here I come!”

You got a job in politics?  Dressed like that for your interview?

“Hey, you are the one that picked out my outfit.  Besides, this is TWINBROOK we are talking about.  My boss is a retired hooker!”

I see.

But now that that is out of the way, we have to find a hot baby daddy for you to start generation three with.  Finding a decent looking sim didn’t sound like a hard thing to do, at least not at first.

“I LIKE CORNBREAD”

D:  I said this was a prettacy, not an uglacy!  Next person please.

He’s um… no?

Why is everyone in this town fat?  I can see this happening because it’s a southern place, but jeez.  What happened to the health conscious gym fanatics that where prominent in Sunset Valley?

“I’m so skinny because I kill people when I sleep”

.___.

Hmmmm.

“After what you let Amy do to me, the Secksie family can go fuck off for all I care.”

NO ONE IN TWINBROOK IS HOT.

If you want to do an Uglacy, come here.

“HEEEEY!  My baby is STARVING!  Ghost dude!  Get your ass in here and take care of my baby like your lazy ass is supposed to!”

“NO!  I rebel by sleeping on your couch everyday and NEVER GOING AWAY

FOREVER AND EVER”

I’m still on this thing about Sinbad having a baby with Lucy, and after a series of debating with myself, I realized that I still want that baby.

I thought that moving Lucy in would be a good idea, and the baby would probably follow.  I would then move Lucy out to go die over in a house in the middle of the woods or something and raise Lee with Jared and have a happy family.

“Hey Lucy.  Wanna move in?”

“You bet I do!  I’m tired of sleepin’ in a run down barn on the edge of the highway.”

OF COURSE, like I figured, Lee wasn’t available to come with Lucy, and Lucy was moved in by herself.

“I told you mah baby’s dead!  And it’s all that BITCH’S fault!  HAHAHA!  And now that I’m in the house, I’m  carving her in her sleep tonight!”

After a bit of cleaning up, though, I realized I couldn’t just kick Lucy out on her ass.

I’m too nice D:

I guess I felt sad because she has a dead baby, so I decided that she could stay with the Seckies until she died.

But she wasn’t going to stay for free…

“Wut do you MEAN, I have to CLEAN and keep the house up while I’m livin’ here?!  This is shit!  What do I look like, these kids’ gramma?”

You are now!  Haha!  Better than a live in maid!

“Haha, yew a ghost!  Yew can’t use tools right like I can!”

“Yew are a tool.”

“Ha ha, wait, wut?”

“So then there was fire, and aftur my rectum burnt out I thought it was time to go out wit’ tha’ last of my dignity, ya know what I meen?”

“Dam’man, that really sounds terr’ble.  Well, I gotta go, didn’t find an’thing broken, but thanks for the fiddy dollars.”

Damn you Leroy!  Stop distracting the hired help!!

I took this picture because Sinbad is working out for his job, and he’s sweating.

And he’s set to work out without breaking a sweat.

Ok…….. I was just watching him work out shirtless.  Hmmm…..

I need a boyfriend ;_;

“I’m workin’ out too!  Ain’t I sexy too?!”

D8

If you can’t tell, it’s Luanne.

Why are there so many old people here?!  Can’t anyone just die in this town already?!

“This isn’t Florida?”

I’m still keeping an eye out for a man for Luanne while she’s over at the gym losing her pixels everywhere.

There are no good looking men here!

“I’m not a man!”

Yes the hell you are, Chase.

Goodwin!  What happened to you?!  You where the most good looking man in town!  You look…

old D:

So far this is the only guy that is vaguely interesting.

Just trust me when I say that too.  Compare this guy to the other’s I’ve shown you.

“Hello?  Anyone home?  I’m hear cuz you called me for a makeover?”

“No, I’m going to work, see ya later!!  I work with FUD!! YAAAAY”

I hate you.

“How the HELL did I end up watchin’ dis kid?!  I hate chil’ren!!”

Oh yes, it doesn’t help that one of Lucy’s traits is disliking children.  Kinda makes me think of what really happened to her child…

“Oh thanks, ghost man.  Thanks fur watchin’ the brat for me.  If I was stuck with him anymore, I was gonna hurl ’em thru the wall.”

“Um, dad?  Where are you takin’ Jared?”

“I’M TAKIN’ HIM THRU THE WALL FUR LUCY”

Stop killing the babies, Leroy!

“But I’m tired of being the only ghost around here!  I’m lonely.”

“YOU!  Put my son down!  You aren’t allowed to touch MY child!  I’m not about to lose another son to a dimwit like you!!”

“Jeez Sinbad, get tha cork out of yur butt!  I was just rescuin’ yur son from my father, yew think ya’ would be grateful!”

“Don’t touch my son means DON’T TOUCH MY SON!  Now get back to the kitchen and make your step-dad a sandwich 😡 ”

“What the hell is going on in here?”

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE?!

“All I wanted to do was get a sandwich!”

“Oh Leroy.  If it weren’t fur yew, I would be spendin’ my last dyin’ days takin care of my exes’ family against my will.  I hope we spend every wakin’ hour togethur!”

“I didn’t just walk into the house wit’ that goin’ on in the kitchen…”

“Mooooom!  I shocked mahself again!  I know I just ate, but I think I’m starvin’ again!”

After Buck got fried that time, he wished to actually sell the workbench.  I had no idea someone could get that mad at an item like that that they would want to sell it.

Of course he also wished to get his mechanical up too at the same time.  What a moron.

And as you can tell, he did eat something recently.  Little liar too.

“Hey, Goodwin!  I jogged for an hour like you wanted me too, and I’m here to give you that monitor back, and to prove how badass I am and everything.”

“Well, that’s good and all, but do you have to do it in the middle of the night?  It’s four in the morning here!”

“You bet your ass I did!  That’s just how fucking awesome I am!  Now that I’m done bugging the piss out of you, I’m going to go punch the hell out of some ghosts!”

“YAH!  Take that, you dead ass!  Who’s the bitch now, HUH?!  I’m going to rip out your fucking heart and feed it to my stupid step-daughter!!”

“Aw, what a nice young man.”

After beating up ghosts, Sinbad then turns right around and starts mourning a couple of graves. In general, the graves without sims seemingly buried at.  You know, the ones with Remains on them.  Really Sinbad?  What do you think you are achieving by mourning a hollow grave?

“You dumbass, any of these empty graves could really be the grave of my long lost son Lee!  Did you even think about that?!”

Well, anyway, after I watched the Racket ghosts wander around the graveyard and pass out at the sight of themselves, I remembered that there are other Rackets out there, and one in particular came to mind…

Shark Racket, one of the last three remaining Rackets that live in Twinbrook.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that he was PERFECT for Luanne’s husband.  Not bad looking, comes from a rich family, even though he’s a bit stupid and a total ass, like he was with Amy when he asked for an ass load of clothes.  Hell, he was even there when Luanne grew up!  How did I even overlook him?!

Now all I got to do was get him really acquainted with Luanne.

But that will have to wait until next time.  Will Luanne even get Shark?  Will Shark become old before that even happens, considering that he was a young adult when Luanne was born?  Will someone sexier come along?  What the hell happened to Goodwin!?

All in due time.