Marlon: “Alright Miss! Just give me a ten minute period to take my shirt off, and then a half hour to come get you! You’re safe in my hands!”
Marlon: “Their ignorance is really exhausting.”
Yvette: “You are my hero :3”
There’s a “first come, first drown” basis, Guillermo.
Marlon: “Don’t you mean, debt?”
Yvette: “No, I want to to go shopping, there’s a sale at the Sears Department.”
Guillermo: *A loud instrumental of My Heart Will Go on*
Marlon: “Alright, now that that’s done, what was I going to do now? Did I need to go to the store before I went home?”
Guillermo: *♪ EVERY NIGHT IN MY DREAMS ♪*
Guillermo: “You came back for me, Jack!”
Marlon: “It’s Marlon, but it’s ok, I’ll ignore that.”
Syrah and Merlot had to go to school for once, since they were failing, and there’s no way they could return home with F’s. It gave me an opportunity to check out some of the townies this town has to offer.
Can you BE any LESS of a mermaid, Triton?!
Triton: “One of these days, I WILL earn my tail and be a pure merman. I just have to murder enough selkies when I enroll into the army and fight in the Great 1000 Year Selkie-Merfolk Territory War.”
Syrah: “Maybe I shouldn’t follow the creepy busted merman singing Willy Wonka.”
Chianti: “I would rather you NOT even fight a shark, dad. Much less let your young daughter help you find one to fight with.”
Wulfric: “Sigh, now there you go, sounding like your mother. Where’s your sense of adventure, Chi?”
Syrah: “NOT YOURS”
And so Syrah didn’t think anything was in the chest and went to find Merlot.
Merlot: “Too late! It saw me! It tried to force a loan onto me! I don’t know what to do, Syrah, help!”
I’m sure that cave isn’t much safer, though.
Kraken: “Hallo, meine freunde! Schönen tag, lolololol!”
Octopus: “One day I’m going to be a great magician, since I’ve already mastered the ability to levitate myself.”
Shark: “I’ll go to every one of your shows to support you, buddy!”
Merlot: “SYRAH, IT’S BACK, IT’S FOUND ME”
Merlot: “KING TRITON PLEASE COME SAVE ME”
Merlot: “NOPE, THIS ISN’T WORTH THE HUNT FOR MERMAIDS.”
Wren: “What do you MEAN you were attacked by a shark, Merlot?! Do you KNOW how much magic is costs me to keep reviving you whenever you do stupid things and get killed?!”
Merlot: “You don’t have to remind me every time that happens, mom…”
Wulfric: “Of course! And besides, there’s one right there! This will be a piece of cake!”
Wulfric: “Alright, remember, dangle the raw chicken on the hook right until the shark gets up next to me, then yank it out of the water, and in the shark’s confusion, I punch it in the face, and we all go back to the science facility, happy as can be!”
Chianti: “I’m not fishing with a chicken, dad.”
Wulfric: “Fine, just stay in the boat until I get back.”
Wulfric: “Sorry, my wife has forbidden me from interacting with vampires.”
Mia: “WHAT, but I’m not-”
Wulfric: “Get your hands off my junk, Mia! Shark! SHARK! I must go punch it!”
Just reach over and smack the black thing swimming past you, you blind bat.
Wulfric: “Where did Chi go with the boat?”
Chianti: “This is so much fun mom! Thanks for the slide!”
Wren: “Anything to keep you happy and busy while your mother sneaks drinks from behind the bar.”
It’s YOUR resort, Raven!
If you’re here, then who’s running the lobby, Darin Dick?!
Wulfric: “THERE YOU ARE, YOU SLIPPERY DEVIL. Prepare for the Wulfric Whooping!”
Shark: “You’re telling me…”
Wulfric: “Never would I think I would be petting a shark. You are so sweet, so docile… why do they call you such brutal killers? All the monsters of the world that kill you for your fins and prejudices are horrid, and must be stopped! Save the Sharks 2014.
Wait, I still have to fight you for the island though. HOLD STILL!”
Shark: “WHOA BRUH, I’M OUTTIE”
Leonard: “Damn man! I’m sorry you keep attracting weirdos like that.”
Leonard: “I don’t know, but you shouldn’t twist yourself around so hard just to look at that idiot. You have enough chiropractor bills as it is.”
Leonard: “I think I know what he’s doing! It’s that damn science facility that pays people in islands to fight sharks. Monsters. Jackson had to fight a person for that reason the other week, now that I think about it.”
Shark: “Wow, what kind of science requires that?”
Leonard: “Look, I’ll send a note to the science facility that says that you managed to beat my pal up after all. In return, don’t come back down here embarrassing yourself like that.”
Wulfric: “Um… thank you I suppose…”
Wulfric: “It’s ok, because I’m safe, brother!”
Marlon: “Have you been taking any drugs the locals gave you, bro?”
Chianti: “I didn’t want to rock around in an old boat while my dad made chum out of himself! I hung out with mom instead. She taught me how to use magic to help turn this resort around! Check it out! I just upgraded this bungalow to the highest it can go! This resort’s going to be booming soon!”
Marlon: “SWEET! Is there anyway you could have added a washing machine to this place too? I bet that would be useful as well.”
Wulfric: “Oh, Chi. I know, sweetie. But believe in your old man, I can do anything because I’m dad, remember?”
Chianti: “You can do anything because mom’s a necromancer, remember?”
Chianti: “Yeah. Ok. I love you too, dad.”
I believe the type of parking someone does can tell a lot about that person. In this case, it’s a whole family.
Omar: “Haha, too bad she doesn’t know how to walk on water like you do, dad!”
Christopher: “That’s true, and teaching you is starting to look a little impossible.”
That really shouldn’t be your first concern to someone drowning, Marlon.
Rosemarie: *Wants to come up with a smartass remark about divorce papers, but is choking on salt water*
Marlon: “It’s alright, I’m on my way, lady.”
Marlon: “I appreciate it, lady. But we are both married to other people.”
Rosemarie: “Alright, now that we are back, come resuscitate me. And feel free to get handsy with me if you want. Right here in front of my husband, oh yeah, this’ll get him good and upset, like he deserves.”
Marlon: “Maybe it’s not too late for me to go to school and get a degree in art history like I wanted.”
Chianti: “This… this is the island? It’s nice and all, but is this it, dad?”
Chianti: “How untouched is a place with a house on it, dad?”
Chianti: “DAD YOU COULD HAVE CAUGHT THAT IN THE TOWN STREAM.”
Wulfric: “Yes, but look at it’s coloring, Chi! It’s slightly more orange than the in-town clownfish. You really should have a better eye for treasure fish like this!”
Chianti: “OBVIOUSLY they made it all the way out here, dad, without FIGHTING A SHARK!”
Next time: More broken mermaid related things! More islands! More Darin Dick! Actually less Darin Dick.