The Last Huzzah

Hello everyone!  Christmas is coming up and with that I present my gift to you all: the end of The Southern Prettacy!  Twenty two months, 132 chapters, thousands of photos, countless glitches and several reinstalls to get to this point… the best looking sims I could do at the end of ten generations from Leroy.

At least I got this finished before the end of the world tomorrow.  And with that, here is our  Secksie family for the last time in this legacy.

Starting off with Skehrer and her wife Sidney, who’s son you got to meet last chapter.  This chapter, they start down the long road of divorce, and by the time the legacy ended, I had no idea where either of them were.  They kinda just up and vanished.  Some say that they were both eaten by the monster in the abandoned mine shaft out of town, some say the fighting between the two got a little rough, some say they got impatient for Seasons, tried swimming in the river and it didn’t end well.

Only in Twinbrook can a woman marry his son.  Rochelle and Garett finally took that step in their lives…

Maybe they won’t breed, considering five minutes into their marriage, they started fighting in public places.

Sacha is having a Lenny baby, but we won’t be around long enough to see it, because we are turning over to the Secksie house now.

“HUFGH COURFH I DOUFH DIFF considering I’m a ghost and can just go through things, what is this”

“Yew ready fur some hardcore rock ‘n roll?!”

“At four in the mawnin’?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Let’s fuck sum shit up.”

Ice cream truck: “Hey guys!  I heard you singing and thought I could chime in!  I’d love to join your group guys!  I can play “Little Teapot” while you rock out to Aerosmith, it will be great!  Guys?  Guys?  Anyone want ice cream?”

Their neighbors must love them.

“I’m so happy to have a friend in you, cowplant.  It’s like you understand me so much better than anyone else in this house.”

“I understand you because I probably know what you taste like.  You seem to take so much after your mother.”

If they could be, these two would be BFFs.

And then the adults went on a free vacation, leaving all the kids alone!  What will the kids do now with the parents at bay?

They did ABSOLUTELY nothing of importance, other than Eagle getting lucky with someone’s trashcan.

“Oh baby…”

Ok, maybe not, moving on

The very first night, they threw a teen party in the front yard…

And the party wasn’t even on for three minutes when someone called the cops D:

“Dammit, I thought the neighborhood loved us…”

I’m sure they loved your collaboration with the singing ice cream truck at four in the morning too.

“Yo guys, I know yall jus’ gawt here, but yall gotta go, quick!  Someone ratted on us!  Run!  Jump in the bushes!  Hide behind the ole’ moonshine still in the woods, I don’t care, just scat!”

“Damn, that’s a bummer, we just got here!”

“Run!!”

“Alright guys, play it cool… fur all he knows, we’re by ourselves, jus’ chillin’ ‘n havin’ our own lil’ karaoke git down-”

“Boooooo, Beau!  You’re ideas to not get us in trouble SUCK”

“Dude, SHUT UP, I know this is gonna work…”

“Whoa, howdy there, officer!  Did ya come on by to hear me sarenade my family wid’ mah smooth barrytone vocals?”

“Oh HB ‘n Eagle!  I think he’s gonna pull it off… he’s gonna convince the cop that we aren’t up to no gud!”

“Oh!  The voice of an angel!  I never thought I would hear such a lovely sound in my lifetime!  You are a true prodigy son!”

“Heh heh, guys… I gawt this in the bag…”

“Sorry guys!  I JUST got here!  To your party!  This is where we are holding the teen party right?!  Any reason there is a cop here at the teen party?  Stripper, right?”

“Beau… I think we should run now.”

“What did I just hear her say about a teen party?!  What kind of shenanigans are you kids up to?!  You are in so much trouble young man, and I’m going to go call your parents right now about this situation!”

“Well, I would have gotten away wid’ it too, if it weren’t fur mah meddlin’ super-great grandmama!”

“And with that, super-great grandmother is out!  Peace, losers!”

“We are gonna go to jail… we’re sooooo gonna go to jail!”

“Hush, HB.  I know I’m nawt goin’ to jail.  But if anyone asks though, I’m nawt in the bathtub drain.”

The adults all came back, and instantly Bear went off on the kids at fault.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU SING ‘DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER LOVE’ TO THE COP, I COULD STILL BE IN TAHITI RIGHT NOW”

“Dammit, Unca’ Bear, if you are going to ground me, don’t express your love of Cher every time you do so.”

“And yew!  Ur the youngest, but yew should know better than to let ur idiot big brother let yew party with older kids like that!”

“Sorry Unca’ Bear!  No need to barge in on me while I’m trying to use the bathroom though, I git it!”

“AND YOU!  Well I know ya couldn’t have been partying wid’em kids, they think ur too much of a dork to hang out with, so ur off the hook.”

“Um… I don’t know how to feel ’bout that…”

Meanwhile, Dolly on parenting:

“UR GROUNDED UNTIL UR 43, AIN’T NO PARTYIN’ GOIN’ ON IN MAH LIL’ HOUSE YA LIL’ HEATHEN”

“But… I wasn’t involved at all, mom!”

The one kid that was asleep and had nothing to do with the party, Dolly jumped on the second she got out of bed.  Way to be an awesome mom, Dolly.

“In case, yew haven’t noticed, MOTHER, I’M the best child in this HOUSE!  I do nothin’ wrong!  How DARE yew even think ’bout accusin’ me of bullshit like this!”

“I’ll beat ur lil’ ass fur bringin’ that language in mah house!”

“BRING IT”

“Daddy, my feet stink.”

“Do some laundry some damn time, Eagle.”

“Mama? Hey, yeah, they are taking good care of me.  I still have a roof over my head, clothes on my… actually, do you think you can bring me a new wardrobe real quick?”

You’d have a new wardrobe already if you did some laundry, guys.  Just saying.

“Not possible!  The teddy bears prevent me from doin’ some loads!  Oh woe is me.”

You are all morons and I don’t even know why I bothered to put up with the washing machine for you guys again.

“*SNIFF SNIFF*  Mmm, this load smells jus’ like Rocky Mount’n oysters.  Ma’er fact, this whole room smells like Rocky Mount’n oysters now!”

“Hee hee… bull nuts.”

Meanwhile, Opal was finally able to make unmeltable ice sculptures, so I started her on making some for the kids of the final generation!

Not so bad so far, dispite the fact that it looks like Fancy’s is lactating something gross, Eagle’s is drooling, and Egret is stuck with this mouth-opened surprised look on her face.  A for effort, I suppose.

“Ah, finally.  You got around to giving me my old jeans and a fresh new Harley shirt.  About time.”

“Yes yes, we all know yew look gud now, man.  Alright though, from the top: If I could turn back time~”

“Dammit, Bear!  I’m so fucking sick of your obsession with Cher!  Play some Hollywood Undead for once, shit!”

I just never took away the karaoke machine, they liked it too much, so I left it in the yard.

There was a field trip to the graveyard, and of course, the two ghost children should be right at home.

“Is there a karaoke machine?”

“Probably.”

“Then I will feel right at home!”  Woot!”

HB somehow managed to make it to the graveyard, but seemed to have told the rest of the school group to screw that, and ended up fishing for the remainder of the trip.

“I love fishin!  Never fished a day in my life!  I have notta’ damn skill!  I ain’t catchin’ a damn thing… well crap.”

I’ll give her an A for effort too.

“Ta da, ur MOTHER is here to join yew in sum gud ole’ mama-baby bondin’!”

“Um… I sho’ hope yew didn’t come all the way up to the graveyard… like that.”

“Hmm, I see some feet up in the sky!  Well I’ll be!”

OH GOD WHAT IS THIS

“You taste nothing like Eagle!  That’s disgusting!  Take yo’ nasty lil’ ho self somewhere else with that stank flavor.”

“Freedom!  Oh thank gawd, I REALLY can’t afford to die without mah pants on!”

You can’t afford to die on the grounds that you are my only non-Dolly clone, Fancy!

SPEAKING OF WITHOUT PANTS

TAYLOR

WHAT THE FLYING RABBIT FUCK

I JUST PUT YOUR NORMAL CLOTHES BACK ON YOU, YOU IDIOT

“Well… I’m a fashion expert!  I just thought that I just needed a new look!”

“Is my papa insane or something, Unca’ Bear?”

“I think we was kicked by a horse as a child, Beau.  It’s best you not really ask though.”

“What the crap is this?!  BOOTY SHORTS?!  WHY BOOTY SHORTS?!”

HOW ABOUT YOU DON’T SCREW AROUND WITH THE OUTFIT I GIVE YOU AND STOP TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FOR NO REASON, DAMMIT TAYLOR

YOU DESERVE THIS

“I’m going to cry!”

“Holy frog fart on a stump, Batman!”

“Mah daddy’s booty shorts are even shorter than mine!”

“Honey, you go to your room.”

“Guys, I hate to have to interrupt you on the Cooking Hour, but I gotta ‘portant announcement.”

“Is it about Fancy stuck in the bathtub?”

“Is it about the massive amounts of money I just rolled in considering I haven’t done a day of work in several weeks for some reason?  They just won’t call me back to do any more jobs anymore…”

I WONDER WHY, TAYLOR

“No, it’s not about Fancy, or my father’s inability to know how to use pants…”

“It’s my birthday, and it’s tomorrow.  Seeing as it’s the end of the legacy, and I made it to adulthood just fine, we are still gonna go through ‘n grow us all up at during one last blowout family party like we planned, right?”

“I dunno ’bout all that, but if he don’t move in front of the screen, I’m gonna deck that boy in his jaw.”

“You go on and do that dear.  I’d like to know a new recipe other than the pancakes that we have a gazillion of in this house.”

Then they went out and partied for some reason instead.

“Ain’t no party like a garbage can party because a garbage can party don’t stop!”

“Well, unless tetanus or rabies gets involved.”

“True.”

“Oh honey, I wish you’d stop all that poutin’, I think you look just fine in them booty shorts.”

“You think everything I do is fine, Dolly.”

“Well it’s true!  Why would ya complain ’bout that anyway, ya loser.  I’m offerin’ yew woohoo.”

“Well… ok.”

The last of the ice sculptures were finally finished courtesy of Opal, this time with Honey Boo’s heart ripped clean out of her chest, and Beau’s statue is possessed with a murderous glare in it’s eyes.

And here they all are, our little generation 10 before the big party bash.

I am going to miss this legacy when it’s all over.

“I think we’ve come a long way over the years, don’t ya think so, Bear?”

“Actually, I’m really curious ’bout wut ever happened to Sam.  He kinda fell off the face of the Earth, didn’t he…”

“This is the perfect place to have our last hurrah for my kids…”

“Yeah dad, but does Cher have to be playin’?”

“Bear donated the audio set, I couldn’t help what we were stuck with, guys.”

“Heh… we still have that glitched up statue, don’t we?”

“We sure as hell do, Honey Boo.”

“Anyway, you are missing school for this party, Honey!  Don’t you DARE SCREW THIS PARTY UP FOR ME!”

“What the crap daddy, yew don’t gotta be such a massive ass about that at the last second!”

Taylor yelled at the other kids too, go figure, but then Fancy proceeded to go everywhere like this.

“Yellin’ at me on our birthday shindig, who does he think he is?!”

Yes Fancy.  Let’s end the legacy on an angry note, shall we…

“Humph!  I’m angry too.  I don’t like gettin’ told off at all!”

“Dammit HB, don’t copy me when I do something.  Ur such a damn copy cat.”

“Imitat’shun is the best form of flattury, Fancy.”

“Shut up, Beau.”

“Alright guys, this is it!  Let’s try to go out with a big bang, shall we?!”

“Yew gawt it!”

“I’ll try!”

And most of the living family is here to watch the sending off!  What a great family.

Even if two of them took their fucking time to find the door to the building.

“HAW HAW!  Mah sister’s stuck in the foundation!  She’s gonna miss all the cake!”

“Well we wouldn’t if yew’d get ur ass over here, find a crowbar, and get me outta this mess!”

Nascar, I’m excited!  You’ve been with the family longer than anyone else so far, what do you think so far?!

“Stop biding time and just cake them already!  Am I immortal or something?!  I’ve been here too long, I HATE THIS”

We love you too, Nascar.

Here is our Fancy-

Beau: “But I’m the oldest-”

And she is officially, in my opinion, the best I could do.  I think she’s cute!  Hurray for the success of the legacy!  Where’s my confetti?

Her final status is that she is a good, brave but unlucky girl, she hates the outdoors and she’s a snob.  She wants to be a gold digger as her lifetime wish.

“Which is absolutely great!  Where’s Clark, he’s loaded ‘n old, right?”

Honey Boo went second-

Beau: “But I’m still the oldest!”

She’s also good, but a klepto, she’s an easily impressed angler, and lastly, she’s a born saleswoman, hopefully more like her great great grandmother Deborah and not her great grandmother Bella.

“I also want to live in the lap of luxury, and whatta’ ya know!  It’s instantly fufilled!  Why’d ya wanna be a gold diggin’ ho Fancy when we gawt all the money we could ever want!”

Not counting the worth of the house and the Museum property, the Secksies have over 400k in the bank.  Not bad considering half of them didn’t have jobs half of the time.

And finally-

Beau: “About time!”

We have Beau, who’s, ALSO now a born salesman (jeez), who’s a workaholic (personally sounds like a great combination though), who’s also frugal (pretty good match as well, and he’s a clumsy athlete (beaten off the path I suppose but that’s ok).  He, of course, wants to be a Rock GOD Star as you all already know.

And of course, I can’t leave out my little precious Egret and Eagle in the celebrations.  They of course aren’t officially legacy children, but they are officially in my heart.  Even Eagle, sure.

“My little girl is all grown up!  And now my age!  That’s… no, that’s not really all that cool, she’s gonna to start datin’ soon!  I don’t want to think ’bout havin’ to chase off men my OWN AGE from my daughter!  OH GOD”

“Dad, stop freakin’ out over there, ur gonna wet urself again.”

And our little Egret is Over emotional, unlucky, clumsy, she’s a couch potato and a dog person.  Her LTW is to be a zoologist as well.

“My birthday time, Yaaaay!”

Eagle is unflirty like daddy, never nude, heavy sleeper, easily impressed, good sense of humor, and that will make him a great Star News Anchor for his LTW.

“Ok, I’m really getting tired of all these birthdays.  It’s time for cake.”

“Yew said it, grandma.”

“Yeah.  Seriously.  Eagle, get the hell out of the way.”

“Yeah purple kid!  We want cake.”

“Aw, now I’m sad, guys.”

Here are these two as fleshies as well.  I should have done it as they aged but I forgot to do so at the time.  I love them both all the same.

And there you have it everyone!  Our final little Leroy decendants, the best I got at the end of this long line.

“What’s next for us, guys?”

“I have no clue Beau.  I suppose we sit back and wait for our next adventure, I suppose.”

“Well I donno ’bout yew guys, but I’m gonna go git Clark, a marriage ring, a bathtub ‘n a toaster next.  That’s my next adventure.”

“Oh lawd, Fancy.”

“ALL ABOARD THE S.S. FINAL WORDS!  NEXT DESTINATION: TO OUR NEXT JOURNEY AND BEYOND!  And hurry the hell up, I got a date with my son at 8 and I don’t want to miss that!”

Thanks… for that Rochelle.  I’m just going to pretend that last part didn’t ever happen, anyway.

Because of the Secksie’s and Co. influence on young 80s Twinbrook, time was different for our little townies and they grew up different than how we know them today.

Sinbad, after seeing his mother run off and abandon him with his little brother for a simself woman, realized that maybe the bad boy image wasn’t all that it was wrapped up to be, and grew up to be a successfull businessman.  He owns 80% of Twinbrook and is a role model to his peers.

“What can I say, bitches love the Christian Grey get-up.”

Ok, maybe I jumped the gun when I said he left the bad-boy image.

Goodwin, who’s father was heartbroken when Sidney left as well, moved out and lives in a swamp house, and it didn’t influence Goodwin too well either.  He now lives in the dump as a hobo, and is constantly yelling at people who come and touch on his little “chair family”.

Without Goodwin to knock her up and leave her a single mother living with her parents, Jenni went out to fulfill her dream of becoming a Brittany Spears impersonator at parties and clubs!

It really didn’t go very well for her actually… she’s currently also a “born saleswoman” like the great Bella Bachelor, and is also the owner of 6 cats that also hate her.

Gwayne however, also vouched for stardom, after her baby daddy knocked up my simself’s daughter and she realized what a loser Skeet was.  Without him holding her back, she found fame and glory, moved to Hollywood, and is now the next Audrey Hepburn.  But she remembered where she came from and runs the Scholarship for Swamp Babies Foundation, where they raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for kids every year.

Lucy never had any Sinbad babies, but she kept her house when her father moved out to chase around simself women, and she became a construction worker on works such as the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, the Parthenon, and two of the three Great Pyramids of Giza.

However, when the city council of Twinbrook declared that she couldn’t build those replicas in her backyard without a permit, she was forced to tear them down and is currently the second largest morbidly obese person in America.  Her current dream is to eat the largest and gain that person’s power and glory.

Shark Racket became Marsha Vanderguile, thanks to her sister Lolly’s new hobby of back ally surgeries that she was able to put in the area behind their small little house.

“Marsha thinks that Lolly should sit like a more proper lady when watching Days of our Lives.”

“Shut the hell up, Marsha.”

And last but not least, our little Amy Bull, who after experiencing the Secksie family first hand, realized that she never wanted to grow up and be anything like that, so she took up the hobby of classical piano and is now a refined pianist known around the world.  She became elegant and aristocratic and moved out of Twinbrook the first opportunity she got.

When that happened, Leroy never got to meet Amy when he moved into Twinbrook eventually, and then, the legacy never happened.

Congradulations, you read a legacy that doesn’t exist!  And yet it does!

You may now exit the ride from the left and right exits, our lobby has other legacies you may go read and enjoy, including my other three projects, the Slobacy, the Pokemon Rainbowcy and the Fallen ISBI, because I’ll still be around, I’ll still be writing, so you have a good Christmas, a great Doomsday, and a fabulous rest of 2012!