Whoever is in charge of the town’s layout planning and housing system isn’t really all that bright. I sent Tater and Ken out on a little outing to themselves, a sort of unofficial date, to a place they were having a SimFest, and found they plopped a night club down in the center of a quiet suburban neighborhood.
Good job, City Hall. I’m sure the neighbors love this.
“You know… I think it would be a better show if we actually HAD someone on stage doing something…”
“Tater, no, calm yo’ dumb ass down. It ain’t that intresting.”
He had gotten the job suddenly, and then started going up, level two, level three, all the way up to about six I think.
“I’m about to get up on stage and SHINE!”
“At least you can’t say I didn’t put any effort into it. Eh…”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Ken. I may be a Yes-Man now, but I still say no to those stupid revealing tights!”
“You didn’t even let my husband on stage tonight! You really think I enjoyed the show because of that?!”
“Lady, it isn’t my problem that he suddenly wants to be the most flexible representative in Congress.”
“SHIIIIIIIIT TATER, WE ARE GOING TO DIIIIIIEEE”
“What’ya talkin’ about, Ken, I’m just parkin’ the car”
“Not now, Ken, it’s ice cream time. Pick out an ice cream, I’ll pay fur it.”
“Well, I do like free frozen treats…”
“I have never held a child longer than 2 minutes. When is this over again?”
“Why, I’m a pretty decent mix of my parents!”
I know, you just rub me the wrong way, kid.
“I don’t think you were even THIS upset when I died, Bear…”
“Sorry Ken, he’s really antsy for this baby apparently. So much so that he left his pregnant wife stuck in a pile of garbage. Sigh.”
They were enemies as children and now they are lovers. AWWW!
“This child disappoints me.”
“What are you talking about, Bear?”
“She’s just not as patriotic as our little Eagle.”
“What are you saying, I think Egret is plenty patriotic for you!”
“Why, it’s got a mullet. The bird is perfect.”
“What, can’t a man go to the bathroom with some privacy here?”
“It’s not the bathroom.”
“I can’t tell.”
“HUUGHHN, it’s only a matter of time now!”
I think the kitchen has become the family’s cesspool or something.
“Thank you… strange birthday wishing wall with pig picture…”
“Dammit, Bear, it’s me, Opal, I’m stuck in the wall you idiot.”
*Piss piss piss* “Maybe I should do somethin’ bout that tree growin’ in the wall foundat’shun…”
I know, right Mr. TV Man?! Also, who left the trash in the floor?
“Ur smell has gawt me stuck in the mud, horse!”
“Wut? Ur mah kid? I jus’ thought yew were sum intricate gnome’r somethin’. Mah bad.”
“Yep! A random sculpture of a chair, just for you!”
“… You are much taller than you sounded over the phone, lady.”
“Technically, no. They are made out of ectoplasm, a side effect of, you know, being dead.”
“I was wondering why they were so soft that I went through them…”
Ahem… moving along then.
“Mama, door make funny noise 😦 ”
“GAH, who da hell’s ringin’ the doorbell at ELEVEN AT NIGHT?!”
“I just haven’t seen you guys in forever!”
There’s a reason for that…
“I like to see my family from time to time!”
We don’t consider you family really, Tal…
“Please, humor a poor old man, I’m tired… my wife left me for our son… and it takes me a long time to stand on your porch jimmying the lock to get in, I just need a short nap.”
YOU WEREN’T INVITED IN, TAL.
After his short nap, he got up around 3am, and went home. But as much as he was a nuisance, this is the last time I saw Tal in person. He died eventually. He left his ex wife and son with nothing.
“That joke was already done dear.”
“Doesn’t get me any booty any less, Dolly.”
“Nooo 😦 ”
“That’s not the first time that’s happened though, right?”
“I’m glad I’m sittin’ on the toilet. Because I jus’ shit myself D:”
“You know, I really expected him to actually lay on the fire and put it out with his body. I guess I’m wrong though…”
“Uh… yeah, this is all your fault, lady.”
Maybe this will teach them to stop being so late to fires. Maybe not.
And better yet, they are all in the correct cribs! That… never happens.
And the fire?
“Don’t really care at the moment.”
“…Do you smell something burning?”
“No, really, Bear? What’s that burning smell?”
“I’m not interacting…”
That’s your fault, Eagle. You keep saying you can’t sit at the table, but that’s what you get for trying to take the spot Egret’s already at.
“I think we would be an unstoppable force if we banded together, friends. We already hold the hearts of anyone who thinks we are cute, so here’s my proposition. We go into crime together. With our brains and looks, we will be a force to be reckoned with!”
“Fancy, maybe we should let Egret do the burning. You scare me too much.”
“I’m sowwie, grammpa! Ok, ok, no fire! We will do something lighter, like bootleg DVDs!”
“No crime ever!”
“Sorry! Please! Holy crap people, STOP STEPPING ON ME!”
“NO, Eagle, you aren’t taking my spot at the table!”
“But… the other side of the table is too far away…”
“Stop being such a loser, Eagle.”
” 😦 ”