Guys, I think I might be dying. No I’m not. I tried to though, slipped off the side of a mountain this weekend. Then got a bad nasty cold. My brother has the flu but I seriously doubt that’s what it is.
Wait, who cares?!
Last chapter of Supernatural playthrough
Which is a little long
AND THEN SECKSIES
Days and days and hours passed, and while we really truely didn’t mind staying here, the summer just felt endless. The little plot I took over from the previous occupants was blossoming into a full grown secret garden, and for one person, it had started getting a little much for me. I soon found myself spending all my time taking care of my plants while waiting on my sister to figure out how to turn me into a fairy.
“Bonehilda? Why are you out here tonight?”
At the time, Wren was asleep upstairs, or had turned herself into a toad for the night, and across town, Eider was… I don’t know what he’s doing here. Apparently, he was on his way home from a werewolf hunt, but he might just have a spine injury here.
Then again, he gets his flexibility from Uncle Facebook, I’m sure.
Strangely enough, since Eider became a werewolf, he’s been more tolerant of Bonehilda than anyone expected. I don’t know if it’s because of the werewolfism, since I only see him around her in that form, or if he’s grown up and gotten over it, but sometimes they actually hang out and get crunk together.
“I will forewarn you, Bonehilda… sometimes when you sleep, your leg bones look strangely appetizing I’m serious. If you don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night with my teeth wrapped around your ankle, I recommend you locking your box up good and tight from now on.”
Anyway, back to the night of the full moon. I was telling all my little tomato buddies about how cool it was going to be to fart fairy dust every four minutes, when lo and behold, a fairy popped out of the earth in front of me!
Well, I thought it was a fairy at first…
Eddie: “A zombie?”
“You’re wings! They are so delicate and beautiful! They smell like decay… but that must mean you must be some sort of fairy of the earth?! GASP! You must be here to bless my garden! Are you going to bestow your good will on my flowers, Mr. Fairy?!”
“That… I don’t think that’s bestowing a blessing… why would you eat that, I spent so much time on that plant! You are a terrible being!”
This bitch better get lost before I break out the power hose.”
*Wolfbane induced intoxicated confusion*
“What, playing catch with the clumsy and whiney Eider boy again?”
“Shut up, Herman.”
“Even though he killed my plant, doesn’t mean you can go and splatter him all over the yard Eddie. Jeez. Besides, I don’t want to clean up fairy-zombie gore.”
*Drinks honey that has been in Raven’s back pocket since chapter one*
“No but you have been eating my plants. Speaking of which. You owe me for my wolfbane. That and you should go get your stomach pumped or something. *grumble* Damn drug zombies.”
“It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care… it’s five ‘o clock somewhere~”
We, and my garden, survived the night, and we went back to the normal: The drunken bone maid and vampire death pouting about being ignored by her.
“Please Ms. Fairy, I long to become one of you! If I best friend you right now, you think you could use your fairy magic to make me one of your people?”
“I really don’t think so. I mean, I don’t see why I can’t, but I think I’ll pass.”
Apparently, fairies are the only being that can’t turn other people into their same life state, unlike vampires, werewolves, etc. To my knowledge anyway. And fairies can just be dicks, I soon realized this real fast.
“I dare say, Sir Eider, it is surely a grand night for a midnight brunch, do you agree?”
“I do, Sir Dwayne, this moon is simply grandeur! If I only had a top hat and monacle, why this outing would surely be the bee’s knees!”
“I have a top hat… but I forgot it when I left the house today…”
“And that’s why you are sitting by yourself at the moment, Pappy.”
“Looking for love in all the wrong places~”
What is it with everyone singing lately?
“Awww, is ickie wittle zombie hun’gee?! Aw, that’s so cute~”
“Aww, rawr! Ha ha, you are too damn funny, zombie!”
“Oh shit! OH SHIT! ZOMBIE! ZOMBIE CAN EAT MY BRAINS NOW! SOMEONE HELP, BACK ME UP! OH GOD NO AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Apparently the screaming and crying is what saved Eider’s life that night, and everyone on the block got up the next day with unexplained migraines and sensitivity to sound…
“Greetings! I have come hoping that you were in stock of a few items I need for a potion. Of course the last time I checked you don’t sell fish, and I was either going to have to learn how to use a fishing rod or spend a lot of time converting things until I got the right item… but you wouldn’t happen to have red toadstools, sunstone, and a fairy damsel, would you?”
“Are you trying to make a fairy potion? If you’d like I actually have one of those in stock now, you know.”
“Herman, don’t you think your way of fixing this problem is a little… barbaric?”
“What? They’re dead, I’m hungry, what seems to be the problem here?”
“I just vouch for a more humane option, you know…”
“Yay, now I can do my thing!”
“You are oddly too happy about this, Eddie.”
“Thanks, but I’m so tired of eating plant stuffs… Seriously, I need brains.”
Bonehilda: “Hmm, what’s this, cake in the backyard?!”
Needless to say, poor Herman had to spit Bonehilda out. She had no meat on her, and had a high alcohol content. I have no idea how much she had to drink to try to eat cake from Herman that night anyway.
“I’m positive! Unless I was ripped off by that cashier again. There’s a 30% chance it might just be rat poison. I’ll go get Death to stand by just in case.”
“I think it looks awesome, especially now that you bleached your wings to a lighter color!”
“I agree with Eddie, that Screen-Of-Death blue was a little much on my non-existent corneas.”
“Hmmm, ok fine. But don’t blow it all at one time. You do not want to know how I make this stuff.”
“Hey look Wren! Thought bubbles!”
“Well darn. Pesky little photo ruiners!”
“I mean, why would I even be thinking of artwork at a time like this?! I’m not even artistic!”
“Hahaha, that was quite hilarious!”
“Wait, I was just playing a cute little prank! You’re magic can really hurt me!”
*Says nothing because frozen solid*
“Aw, well aren’t you just a sweet little thing as a fairy Raven?! That’s so cute!”
“Oh wait, you are there? Then who’s this little… BONEHILDA! Get the bug swatter again, the pixies are back in the house again!”
“I agree, let’s go!”
“Wait, rock defeats paper right? I’m confused.”
“Bah, me too.”
“No one mind me back here guys, just making martinis and not trying to pretend I’m Cornelia Goth in any way… stalking her and wanting to be her… have some of that sweet sweet Gunther sauce… mmm…”
Because that’s the way you make friends, Wren.
Once Barnabas took me with him to a friend’s house, where my only other fairy acquaintance apparently lived. It was nice to talk to someone who was like me.
“I get that a lot.”
“Raven, stop… oh your head’s on fire now. I think that’s good enough.”
“Yeah, I told the little crap to wash dishes an hour ago, eh, it hasn’t even moved from where I dropped it last night. Go figure.”
“Uh, WEIRD? Really Barnabas, I think it’s about time you left anyhow…”
Go figure even in this game Barnabas is still a baby freak.
“I think you are supposed to leave that lady’s baby here…”
“Oh… you sure?”
YES we are SURE, Barnabas.
Over the course of the last few weeks, there was just so many sparkles and colors in the house, that it just drove us insane.
It drove me insane, anyway.
“Haha, I am the best prankster in the world!”
Wren: “Really? You only achieve getting covered in vomit and fire each time, you know.”
“Thanks for reminding me, Wren.”
“Because Quote the Raven, Refridgerator.”
“Why does Mr. Collins let you live here again?”
As I figured, after becoming a fairy, I gained skills that made me connect so much more with my plants. I could make them bloom and weed themselves! It was fabulous! Which was great, because gardening them manually was getting a little much, even for me.
That being said, I didn’t just use all my powers for flowers…
“Haley? Is that you? I’d love to talk about why you are angry at me for having to dump your baby out on your front lawn when I left the other night but I kinda got a bigger problem trying to find out why my toilet that is coincidentally covered in fairy dust is broken…”
“Yeah I really got to go now, Haley. Bonehilda just murdered me with the door. Laters.”
“Damn. And I took one of my famous morning poops in it just a bit ago. And here I thought that was the problem the whole time.”
“Oh Bonehilda, you have something hanging out of your nose… Bonehilda?”
“Not right now, I must go and plan my revenge!!”
Is… is that a Dyson?
Well, can’t argue with that, now can I? It was a good movie.
“A what?! No, please! I don’t want to be a toad! Warts look terrible on my non-skin!”
“No silly, I’m trying to help you out with your unlucky love life! Behold, I have cast a charm on you that will cause the next person you talk to to fall in love with you! Go for it man, there’s no stopping you now!”
“I’ll stop him if he doesn’t stop leaving those nasty plasma juice boxes all over my clean martini bar >:\”
Wren: *skips off in a trail of fairy dust*
Because of Wren’s charm, Death had to watch who he had to talk to within the 24 hours before the spell broke since he couldn’t even talk to the bone maid. Too bad that didn’t work out…
“Death, I just want you to know that the rent is up man, and I really don’t have the cash to take over your part this month, so you really need to fork up this week, or get a better job, because this might be bad on our credit record, ok?!”
Yeah, I know, go figure.
“No, this isn’t how I wanted it to go down! No, Bonehilda, WAIT! Come back! This isn’t what you think that was!”
“I tested it on Raven.”
“Should we avoid her for 24 hours then?”
“Damn, Eider. You’re hot, I’m hot, we should get together sometime, hm?”
“DAMMIT, WREN, I FORGOT! HELP! HELP ME!”
Ugh, that was a horrible few days right there. I needed 4 months of psychiatric help and Eider needed 7 months of therapy after that.
The day right before we were supposed to return home to Starlight Shores, I was in my little fairy house near my garden, Wren was breaking everything in the house trying to upgrade it for Barnabas out of “good will” and Eider was taking a break from marking his territory on all the trees in the neighborhood, when we heard a strange noise coming from the backyard, followed by a scream, and moo, and then a burp.
“Nope, I’m going to keep this one down even if it makes me nauseous as hell. I know the bones are probably not good for my digestive tract, but I haven’t actually successfully gotten one all summer!”
“Let me guess. Is it that bone chick?”
Sigh, sure as hell was.
“Dammit Bonehilda, why’d you actually have to go and… actually I don’t really care *doesn’t get a sad death moodlet at all*”
“Hee hee. Eddie, go ahead and cut another node in the tree, but circle this one. I actually managed to kill one of my victims :D”
“Bonehilda? Really? This… this is actually really good for me! This time you can’t escape me! I finally have you where I want you, you can now GO ON A DATE WITH ME! 😀 YES! First, we will go on a romantic hay ride, crash the hay cart, reap the souls involved, and then I know a great malt shop in downtown Hades…”
” 😀 😀 😀 Later bitches!”
“Ok, goodbye death. It was a good summer with you, I guess.”
“Wow, so much horror in the past five minutes that even the hardied werewolf Eider couldn’t take it.”
“I know, he passed out so hard, I don’t even think he noticed the briars he passed out in. He’ll never tangle that out of his underwear successfully when he wakes up either.”
Sadly, we didn’t get Bonehilda’s tombstone. Neither did the cemetery. I guess that was Death’s way of saying we couldn’t take her back from him this time. However, the underworld seemed unsettled by the whole situation. ‘Dismissing Bonehilda’ was still ‘possible’ but it never could actually happen. And the jingle that played whenever a ghost would appear on the lot would play every few hours for no apparent reason, along with a random zombie appearing on lot on an average of one every 3 hours no matter what time of the day it was. It was a weird final day in Moonlight Falls, for sure.
But our trip soon came to an end afterwards, and Barnabas braved the morning sun to see us off.
“Well, later Raven. I enjoyed you hanging out, playing in the garden, and breaking all the toilets in my house. And Eider, it was cool man. I’m glad we got to spend time with each other when we did.”
“You sure can! I would love for you guys to spend another summer here!”
Of course we never went back. We are lazy teenagers, what do you expect?
“Well, we are about to go, and I haven’t seen a hide or hair of Wren. Do you know what’s taking her so long to get ready, Barnabas?”
“I don’t know, Raven. I think she’s either still getting her stuff together or she might still be in the backyard. I saw her earlier messing around there a little while ago. You can go check there if you want to.”
“Just a few more minutes. The whole reason I wanted to be a witch… I’m about to do something I’ve wanted to do for ages now.”
“I took this urn YEARS ago, Raven! I HAD to! I have been haunted by it for years…”
“Bringing Aunt Jesse back from the dead isn’t going to bring Azazel back, you know this right?”
“You don’t know that, Raven!”
“I think I peed myself.”
“Seriously, Wren. Aunt Jesse is a zombie now. You really think Azazel is going to come home now because of this?”
“I don’t know. I wanted it to. I really miss him so much, Raven. He was my favorite person in the world…”
“I know, but do you think Azazel wanted his wife like this? She’s rotting, Wren.”
“Maybe. Who knows. Azazel was crazy as a loon anyway.”
“*sniff* I guess not.”
“This isn’t Jesse. Jesse is about to tear what’s left of my garden up. She’s eating plants now. If she was the real living Jesse, then maybe. Uncle Azy will come home maybe then. But please Wren. Stop beating yourself like this trying to get our Uncle to come back and let’s go home. It’s the only thing we can do, dear.”
So that’s where we left our Aunt, eating my dying garden and returned home to Starlight. Had I known sooner that Wren was that torn up about her missing uncle that that was the reason she turned to witchcraft, maybe I could have been there for her? I don’t know.
But I do know one thing.
BEING A FAIRY IS FUCKING AWESOME!
Of course, after that was done, I made the peashooter attack Jesse just to see if that would cure her of zombism, just like the other zombies.
HAH, guess what, it does XD
“Ooh, where am I? I felt like I’ve been asleep for a hundred years! I had the strangest dreams that I was trapped in a jar and buried in the ground for so long…”
“Well welcome back, Mrs. Rotter :D”
And so was that.
This brings us to the end of this EP playthrough, about time. A few words of afterthought, great EP, I’ll admit, I was a little anxious to play through it because I thought that there would be so much stuff in this EP that I would get overwhelmed. In a way, that’s true, there is so much more stuff in this add-on than let’s say, Generations or Ambitions. Probably another EP with stuff in it that I only began to scratch the surface of. So many things to do! And yet, there are just three or so new patterns available in this one. I found that funny.
Anyway, moving on, now that that is said and done, next chapter we will go back to starting generation 10. I WAS going to do a Holloween special again this year like I did last year, but Supernatural seems to be plenty Holloween themed for the month, and I don’t want to take that much time away from the Seckies. Also, I haven’t had time this year to work on one or even plan on out.
Sorry dear. Maybe next Holloween or something?
Ugh, sorry D: seriously, I was looking forward to a special for the best holiday of the year since July, but it just got away from me.
BUT I will share with you a little holloween surprise, ok? For the record, don’t go expecting any fairies and magic from this EP in the Secksie legacy.
BECAUSE THAT LEGACY IS OFFICIALLY DONE! 😀
Has been for a couple of months now actually, how awesome is that?! It’s just a matter of posting the last small batch of chapters out now. So starting from next Thursday for every Thursday until it ends, there will be a new chapter out. Now it’s on a schedule, how cool is that?
HAPPY HOLLOWEEN EVERYONE