Guess what I got a few days ago! Go on, guess!
And don’t look at the title, that’s cheating. You all looked at the title first, didn’t you? You are all cheaters.
Well, as usual when it comes to new EPs and me, even though this EP has been out for a while, I chose to test it with my little tester sims instead of blindly throwing the Secksies into the new stuff and accidentally killing Dolly with a falling stage light or something.
Like last time, I will use Lee’s kids, Youtube and Facebook, who, after their fathers went on a sixth honeymoon, were forced to move in with their estranged uncle Azazel in Starlight Shores after Lee and VJ
just decided to not leave Tahiti never returned home.
Broke, homeless, and pitiful, the boys arrived at their uncle’s house, a teeny trailer on the outskirts of town.
“What are you talking about, stupid!? It looks exactly the same from when we left it last Christmas.”
“GOOD. Because my last roommate is getting on my last damn nerve! You! Get the hell out of my house Kyle, you fart molesting monkey weenie! You’ve used up all my hair gel for the last time!”
“Yep, same ole’ crazy Uncle Azy.”
“Mmhmm, Uncle Azy. Well I suppose me and you, Facebook, are going to have to take turns sharing the couch at night, right?”
“Bitch please. After I move Monty into my couch I dare you to even try to touch it.”
Actually, he performs the same tricks the local hobos perform down the street, only difference is that Azazel is cleaner and pays taxes for his cardboard house.
“But I swear I watered these! I mean, plants can drink thrown out booze, right?”
“Yeah… maybe we should go over there and support him, don’t you think, Facebook?”
“And let other people know that we are related to him, no way!”
“You suck, Uncle Azy.”
“Yeah, it’s really just 14 Pickup. I had a magic rabbit, but it choked to death on the other 38 cards.”
“Haha! You’re really TERRIBLE at this, Uncle Azy!”
“Come on now, Facebook. Don’t hurt his feelings, he’s really trying you know.”
“Good for you, Uncle Azy!”
Burglar: “BOO! Your uncle is bad and you should feel bad!”
“WOO! Kick his ass, brother!”
“Boys, BOYS! Don’t do this here, I’m trying to put on a show right now!”
“Now THAT’S a show right there!”
“STOP IT! You are ruining my street performance! I hate you all!”
“Well, with the amount of money Uncle isn’t making and Facebook’s incoming assault charges, it looks like me and him are going to have to get jobs now.”
So I sent the boys to go find computers to get jobs.
“This is the best damn thing I’ve ever done.”
You make me sad.
“Uncle Azy, I can see you right there. You aren’t tricking me, I’m not that stupid.”
“Oh DAMN, Uncle Azy! I DID poop myself! How?! What magic is this?! :O”
Meanwhile, Youtube started his own career, as a singer on the street corner. And surprisingly, he’s good. A damn good singer. So good in fact, that I wasn’t expecting it. And since I wasn’t expecting it, it kinda scared me at first. I watched most of his performance from the lot across the street ._.
“Both of you boys can sleep in the yard tonight.”
I wasn’t expecting hot tubs to come in Showtime. Damn. A few more things and features and I don’t think I’ll need Late Night.
“No dumbass, I registered to become a street mime. I was finally pulled of the golf course long enough to get a job. Me and Monty can pull our weight around here too, you know.”
No, you just went to a shitty place to play for tips, Facebook.
“I thought mimes aren’t supposed to talk.”
“I’m a special breed of mime. I was born with vocal cords and an unlimited amount of coolness. Tip me! :D”
“I am NOT lame! I’m awesome! Get your scrawny little butt back here and give me a damn dollar!”
“You will not, you really do suck as a magician, Azazel?”
“And how the hell would you know that?!”
“I’m the proprietor here, I’ve seen every single one of your dinky little shows in this park since you’ve started, Azazel.”
“So what, you live here or something?”
I don’t think he likes them either.
“Well you came to the wrong pond boy, because this is MY turf, punk!”
“Aw, this horse likes me :3”
And I like that horse too. That is a NICE wild horse. So I MC’ed him into the family and named him Firenze.
“Why thank you, Azazel! But you and I both know it’s just because I’m letting you perform a gig in my park…”
Medusa chick: “Hmmm… I could use a hairbrush :I”
Firenze’s photobombing butt is photobombing.
“Oh dear lord, no… a mime. Fine, sure. Go for it, show me what you can do.”
“NO FIRENZE! Don’t eat my hair! I’m trying to do an audition here!”
“Hee hee. That’s actually funny! A mime getting eaten by a horse.”
And that’s how Facebook got his gig.
“We are fam-i-ly!”
“I hate this prick as much as he hates me!”
In Late Night, with all the other bartenders.
“How he does it only heaven knows~”
“All the other men turn gay where ever he goes-”
“YOUTUBE GET YOUR HAND OFF MY BUTT”
It’s ok Azazel. Facebook can’t sing and Youtube’s magical voice still scares me.
“Shut the hell up, Kyle! This is my first real gig and I am NOT going to flunk out tonight! I’m going to be awesome, I’m going to be famous, and I’m going to have you thrown out on your ass by the time I move out to live in my four story mansion!”
I don’t know, I think he should really listen to his assistant…
“Hello ladies and gentlemen! Who’s ready for a world of mystery and wonder! I, Azy the Crazy, magician extraordinaire, and my perverted assistant, Kyle, will show you a new world of magic, wonder, and powers beyond your wildest dreams…”
“I’m afraid so, Uncle Azy…
“WOOO! Go Uncle Azy! Knock us dead! Or knock yourself dead! You know, more likely to happen.”
“BOOOOOO. My poop doesn’t have this much corn in it!”
You know you are having a bad show with a horse thinks you suck.
Please don’t headbutt Azazel’s only other audience member, Firenze.
That horse sure loves some damn hair.
Well, that’s all I’m doing for this first part. Next time, the boys hopefully get better and more promotions or something, and more Showtime stuff!
Now go outside or something.