It’s almost that time of the year again! It’s getting warmer (it’s always been kind of warm…) flowers are blooming, the birds are crapping on my car again, people are scared of the trees sperming all over the place, yep, sounds like spring.
She will be bunking with Dan, and help take care of Sarah babies. Or she will stand around and ignore them like I’m sure Dan does. We’ll see.
Yes. Cletus. That damn bike has been there for a LONG time. No need to alert the family about it at 2 in the morning. You are worse than my own dog.
“PAPA I DI’N’T WANNA SAY ANYTHING BUT DOLLY ‘N CT RAN AWAY ‘N I TRIED TO STOP ‘EM BUT I REALLY HAD TO PEE INSTEAD SO THEY’RE GONE”
“Hon, wut’ the sink do this time to ya?!”
“No daddy, I just told papa that Dolly and CT ran away ‘n he’s takin’ it really hard. Like, really really hard. This is his third scream in front of the sink so far ._.”
“Is this where I sign up to join ya’ll to become a vagrant run away?”
“Luk boy, we ain’t gangin’ up in a group, go find ur own big sister to run away with!”
And what’s his face was so upset by his rejection that he ran over Dolly and went home.
“Don’t worry ’bout that CT. I stocked up on some of Grammpaw Pat’s tomatoes and that should last us for a lil while. And I know this kid who’s grandmaw’s cousin own’s a restaurant. We talk to ’em and we might be able to work for some scraps…”
“FINE, go, I didn’t want yew out heer wid’ me in the first place! I’ll live on my own like I wanted to, go home and cry to daddy ‘n papa!”
“Cake, as we always have every night dear. Where’d you and your sister go?”
“Oh, we ran away but I got bored. She’s still hangin’ out by the old bus stop I think, tryina’ make a fort outta an old tarp ‘n cement blocks.”
“Thanks for telling me, sweetie. You did the right thing, telling me. I better go pick her up.”
“How’d yall keep findin’ out where we are so fast?!”
“Well, there are these microchips we put in babies by the time they are born-”
“I MEAN, your dad Tater called and we’ve just been looking >_>”
“Jus’ tell CT that I’m pissed off at her fur rattin’ me out ‘n I’m gonna lock her in a cab’net fur this”
“NO PAPA, DOLLY’S GONNA HURT ME FUR THIS”
Ok, will everyone stop screaming at Ken for a minute?
Are we really taking cues from the Derps now or something?
“I JUS’ WANNA BE INVOLVED AHHH”
“AHH DADDY IS SCARING ME WID ALL HIS SCREAMIN’ SO I WILL CONTINUE TO SCREAM AHH”
“Ok yew guys, papa ISN’T that big of a deal. Would yall all stop actin’ so retarded?!”
“DOLLY! Ur papa is TOO a big deal! I should ground yew AGAIN for that”
“I wanna pair of grapefruits! I love grapefruits! They are so much kinder to me than those mean old oranges!”
“Wut?! Does this mean I’m ALSO gonna grow boobs?! I don’t WANNA though! I like bein’ a lil tomboy though! Yew can’t make me hit puberty like that!!”
“Because until ur hair grows back, yew ain’t goin’ inna’ public wid’ no chop job goin’ on! Be proud, this hat’s been passed down fur generations frum ur great ancestors. Well maybe nawt great. Anyway. Yew ain’t allowed near me ‘n ur papa’s razors anymore though, ya hear me?!”
Eventually I got really sick and tired of everyone going “AHH IT’S KEN WHY” so I sent Tater and the girls out for some father-daughter time on the far side of town, as far away from Ken as I could possibly get them.
“Behold girls. The great outdoors. So far away from ur papa, away from anyone, so now we can’t even know what Ken’s doin’, where he is, why he’s upset”
That’s it, I’m moving you out to the clipboard for a five minute time out.
“HELP! SOMEONE HELP! I have a smaller fish stuck in my cloaca! I haven’t been able to poop for days!!”
“I sense hostility between my oldest two. I’d do something ’bout this, but Ken’s better at nago’sheatshuns than I am… sigh, oh my poor Ken…”
“Why does this hat make me think I wanna go fishin’ so much?! ._.”
Apparently homework solves all problems, because that’s all they did homework here. Even Dolly eventually did her homework, and she doesn’t go to school anymore.
“Ok, scannin’ fur ghosts… are there any ghosts in this house right now?”
“See this heer, ma’am? This is the do hicky I’m gonna use to kill ya!”
I really don’t think there’s not a sim out there that doesn’t like banshee banishers. Nobody likes ghosts, not even ghosts.
Hannah: “LOL hi”
“My own kind are morons.”
“Angry cave woman no like mean blue man! Cave woman know why blue man here! Cave woman no go into gun of blue man! Blue man is asshole, blue man will be forever alone if he keeps being sellout to the fleshy ones!”
“Haha, cave woman know just how to press lonely blue man’s buttons :D”
But I really wish they’d stop spawning back on the porch and STAYING on the porch. My sims have to, you know, WALK there.
“Screw yew Dolly D:<”
Dolly did get yelled at again by Bear though. It’s a routine now.
Sugar, CT, and Lady just stood in front of the school all day. Technically they didn’t go to school either.
Actually I was trying to release Baroness McGhostard, because I felt sorry for her, but I forgot what her real name was, so Bear released an “Ami” chick instead.
“I managed to
pick the lock from my house and escape borrowed the keys from my husband and have a day out of the house! It’s so nice here! Look little Garret! Isn’t this a pretty horse? Wanna pet the pretty horsie, Garret? Hello Mr. Horsie, can I please come home with you?”
“I’m trying to refriend him because he’s still pissy since I moved out to live with my boyfriend Kanoa and I took the kitchen appliances with me. They are MY appliances! I’m SORRY he had a relationship with my toaster, but dammit man, get your own!”
Not sure how your typing all that well with a candle on your keyboard, but I’m sure you know what you are doing…
I think he’s finally done fighting his brother for rights on who gets to bang their cousin Shanon, and that’s good enough for me.
“I luv horses.”
“Somethin’ more important is comin’ up Unca’ Bear!”
“Well, I think I had a prudy decent life, don’t ya think?”
If you mean, spending half of your life complaining about the lack of attention and sleep you get despite sleeping all the time and talking to Nascar and Lynard all the time, then yes, you had a great life.
“I swear, if it’s Tal again about him having a wife, I’m going to go castrate him.”
“Be careful Death. Ole’ Cletus’ a humper.”
“I’m gonna miss that ole’ mutt. But at least we’ll finally be able to keep the crotch area on our panties for more than a week…”
This is why you’ve always slept in the shack or the attic, Nascar.
“Tell Unca’ Tal that calling during the dog’s death is really rude and he sucks ok?!”
“Haha, jellyfish are cute.”
“This mutha’fucka ain’t on the list!”
“But I wus on the list! Ur son invited me, Mr. Singleton, I swear it!”
“Yew better run on home boy, before I put the hurt on you!! *already puts the hurt on him*”
But why Booker was stuffing all that hay into the walls of his barn, I will never figure out.
“Great great grandfather Darrell! It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m a big fan of yours personally!”
“How’s that Budwieser workin’ out fur ya?”
“Urtssugrngfnug like cantfungugh *hic*”
“Sounds gud, I think I’ll pour me one then :D”
“Your chip-I MEAN your father Ken called you in missing, I suggest you get in the squad car NOW”
“Yep, I hate my papa alright.”
“That’s nawt fair, papa ;_;”
“That’s nawt FAIR”
“Dolly don’t you have dishes you need to wash”
“Oh lawd, wut did I do last night?! I only have a faint mem’ry of dancin’ nude on a table ‘n lettin’ gross old men take shots outta my bellybutton!”
“No Sugar, sweetie, I’m the one that did all that :(”
Dammit, all the intresting things happen when I’m not looking D:
Guess what time it is.
It’s the last HEIR POLL TIME
And here are the contenders:
This is IT people
Next generation is Generation TEN
Let’s try to make this the sexiest Secksie EVER