Love Failures

“Hey all you sexy mamasitas and suger daddies out there in the world tonight!  Valentines day up in hizzah, yall!”

“Enjoying my favorite holiday?!  I know I am!  ‘Bout to go to the singles bar and start a love fest up in this piece!  Gonna be the greatest damn sexy party the world has ever seen!”

“Dusty, please stop, you are embarrassing yourself and the memory of your dead mother and father.”

“Aw, go away dog.  Don’t you have your own balls you should be chewing on right about now or something?  I’m getting ready to go out and find me a date for the holiday, and you are getting in my way!”

“I’m getting in your way?  As a matter of fact, you are in mine, as I’m about to get ready to go on my own romantic date with my girlfriend, as is Carl and W.D. getting ready for theirs!”

“WHAT?!  The dogs have DATES and I don’t?!  That’s NOT FAIR AT ALL!”

HAHA.  Dusty really is a loser if she can’t even compare to the dogs.

Meanwhile, back in Secksie land, the crashes were temporarily fixed, after I reset the whole town.  Twice.  At the start of this chapter, and at the end of this chapter, when the crashes started flaring back up like a bad case of herpes or something.

“Hi, Sheld’n!  I’m back to ask you out to the prom for the 6th or 7th time and… wait, where’s the option to ask out to the prom?”

“Um… I’unno.”

“Strange.  I guess I already asked you out and saved it successfully or something.  Oh well. I guess I’ll see you prom night then!”

“Ok!”

I don’t know Dolly, something’s just not right about this…

Back at the house, I was only gone for a few minutes, and someone has gotten one of the babies out of their safety net… and they are already miserable.

Tater: “I HAVE TERRIBLE IDEARS”

Bear: “Good thing it’s her birthday then, right?”

Really, I was only gone a couple of minutes, WHY are both babies exhausted so quickly?!

“We are purdy wild n’ rawdy ’round here yew know.”

Well as far as I can tell there’s no problem picking up the kids anymore…

“Why do I always get ignored when growing up the children?  Is it me they don’t like watching during the grow up sequences?!”

“DADDY I’M TIRED OF WAITING STOP TAKING YOUR TIME”

“Hold on CT, I’m ranting here…*stares*”

Yet somehow Carrie Tay still manages to age up first.

“That’s cause Sugah’ ain’t as cool as me.  She ain’t got the hussa ‘n flow to keep up wid me *faceplants cake*”

Oh yes.  CT is insane.

Sugar is just gender confused.

“I like my hair this way!  Thur’s gotta be sum’ testawst’rone in this generation sumwhere.”

“‘N so yew stick them in MY room?!  I already gotta share this ‘n my bathroom wid’ one of my sisturs’, WHY all three?!”

Because you got the biggest room in the house?  I’d stick them in the shed with the robot, but the farther away I have them from the killer cow plant, the better.

“Ok, Tal.  You called me to come over and hang out, so here I am.  Wassup?”

“I just wanted to show you… see that baby over there?!  That’s mine!  I made it!  With a woman!  I’m so awesome :D”

“And see dat?  Dat’s where I sweep at night!  It smells like old doggie pee pee!”

“I’m just… gonna go home now.”

“Hello bitches!  Goodbye bitches!”

“OOH, Lynyrd!  Look!  Another horse!  We should go hang out with him!”

“And look at me, not giving a fuck *pretends to sleep*”

“SCREW YOU LYNYRD, you wouldn’t know a fun looking idea if it bit you on the ass!  I’M following Goo Goo, you can stay here and be a butthole all you want!”

“Wait for me Goo Goo!  I wanna hangout!!”

I don’t think you can hang out with him if you break all your legs, Bella.

“Playin’ wid dirty, slushy, mud-snow!  Nothin’ like it!  La-de la-da, nawt freezin’ my butt off at all!”

Yep, she’s crazy.  No kid wants to play in icy mud in their summer clothes!

“I’m beggin’ to differ, I find this snowmud pie makin’ funner than feedin’ papa’s ‘cough medicine’ to Cletus!”

“Ain’t it though!”

If you think so.

“Tal?!  I JUST got back from leaving ur place five minutes ago!  Wat’cha want now?!”

“DUDE!  Guess what!  GUESS WHAT!  After you left… I knocked up my wife again!! 😀 HAHAHA *click*”

“…”

“Come on in here, Goo Goo!  This is my favorite area at this place, it’s so-MOVE IT KID.”

“Well, I do like dim lit areas…”

“They get me in such a mood…”

“What, NO GOO GOO.  I said NO!”

“Aw, but BABYYYYYYYYY *nuzzles buttocks*”

“I SAID NO GOO GOO, I’M MARRIED”

“Dad (I’m guessing you are my dad) should we do something about the horses about to get it on and blocking us in a tight little corner in the barn?!”

“Naw son, why’d yew go ‘n think a thing like that?”

“RED ALERT GUYS!  RED ALERT!  This horse is REALLY about to, uh, DO THINGS!  I KNOW HE IS!  I can feel it on the back of my head ;_______;”

Oh hey look, something more important!  It’s Kip!  KIPPY KIP KIP, my favorite old people’s baby, how you holding out buddy?!

“*farts*”

Ok, maybe I can see why you are left alone in a dark barn now…

And look… Jay?!  Weren’t you were supposed to die about four months ago?!

“Wus I?  … I can’t really keep up wid’ anythin’ anymore myself.”

I can tell.

“I JUST HAD SEEEEX, AND IT FELT SO GOOD-”

“Oh hell, that was the most awkward moment of my life.  I’m going home now…”

“Hey!  HEY OLD MAN!  Guess what!  I just got LAID!”

“You did not, you ended up mounting a pair of barrels while my children screamed bloody trauma!”

“You are just JEALOUS”

“Hey, there you are Bella!  I was wondering what was taking you so long getting back home!”

“Bah, what do you care?”

“Just figured you’d have so much fun hanging out with Goo Goo that you’d forget about me-”

“I DIDN’T HAVE ANY FUN IF THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK,  YOU DIRTY MINDED FREAK”

“Um… ok?”

“Sigh, nevermind…”

“But I was worried about you Bella, didn’t think you’d come back home to me and I was about to have to go kick some Goo Goo ass!”

“You’d really do that for me?”

“Of course I would!  You’re my girl, Bella!”

“Aw, Lynyrd… you can be sweet sometimes…”

“Yay, mommy and daddy aren’t fighting anymore!!”

Why do you horse gnomes INSIST on blocking up the whole porch?!

“We enjoy the rare attention you give us :(”

“That’s weird, since when did yew have a full forest on ur chest, Tater?!”

“Sigh, I jus’ gawt older, all adult now, ‘n dad’s genes hit me like a sack a hammers… it itches like a mu’fuckur too…”

“I wish I gawt papa’s hairy genes, I’d grow hair all down to here!  Then maybe I could get a girlfriend for once, they find lots of hair sexy, right?!”

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear yew jus’ talk bout wantin’ to grow a ball-beard ‘n continue to stare at the cheap panelin’…”

Finally, the day of prom… or when prom is supposed to start anyway…

“Tee hee, Sheld’n’s gonna come by ‘n pick me up fur prom!  He sed’ we’re gonna do it in style, so we’re gonna drive up to the prom on his four wheeler!  It’s gonna be the best damn prom party ever!”

“Hm, he’s a lil’ late… prom starts in twenny’ minutes, Sheld’n…”

“Oh, I know wut’s he doin’!  He’s cleanin’ the four wheeler so I don’t have to sit on all that mud ‘n git my dress all dirty!  Aw, he’s so thoughtful…”

“Ok, this ain’t funny… prom’s started already ‘n he ain’t here yet… I’mma count to ten ‘n if he ain’t here…”

“I’m kickin’ ‘im in the fuggin’ nuts.”

“Oh dear God, baby girl!  I was afraid you were out here still going on about your prom wishes…”

“No daddy, don’t tell me papa’s gone ‘n convinced yew I can’t go either!”

“No… but you won’t be able to go anyway!”

Why not?!

“Look sweetheart, I don’t like being the mean parent and I was all for you going to your first prom, I tried to convince your papa on several occasions.  But he was real headstrong about you not going… hon, your papa called that school and canceled your ticket.  You won’t be able to go at all now.”

“WUT?!”

“Papa, daddy sed yew went ‘n cancelled my ticket… please tell me it ain’t true ‘n yew ain’t that mean…”

“No, your daddy’s right, I did cancel that ticket.  I told yew yew ain’t goin’ to no damn prom ‘n that wus final.”

“PAPA!  How COULD yew!  One of the FEW happy moments in my life ‘n yew are that set on RUININ’ IT FUR ME?!  Why are yew such a big ASSHOLE?!”

“Dammit Dolly, calm down, it’s nawt the end of the world!”

“YES IT IS!!”

“WELL I REALLY LIKE HOW YEW WENT BEHIND MY BACK AND GAWT THAT FUCKIN’ TICKET ANYWAY!  AFTER I SAID NO!  YEW DISOBEYIN’ LIL BRAT, I COULD GROUND YEW FUR THE REST OF YOUR TEENAGE YEARS FOR THAT!”

“YEW WOULDN’T DARE.”

“LIKE HELL I WON’T! YEW AIN’T GONNA DISOBEY ME UNDER MY ROOF!”

“Well DADDY won’t let yew ground me, ‘n if nawt I’ll jus’ get Nascar to let me off the hook!  I’m gonna do wut I want!”

“Oh yew ain’t ’bout to pull that Queen Bitch bullshit on me, Dolly, I INVENTED the Queen Bitch *angrily pokes lip out and puts hands on hips*”

“Ew, papa is too damn old to think he can pull off the ‘Queen Bitch’.  Stop it papa, I’ll be good fur fuck’s sake…”

I think when I had to reset the whole town to fix the crashes, it reset the prom event as well.  So there really was no prom after all.  Heartbreaking, but I got to play for a bit crash free…

But this is where the crashes came back so AITGHBJELAFJGINJKLAKS

Notification time.

These are the notifications that survived all the crashes.  That makes them official.

Thor and Megan had another baby, who’s name is really Daniel now after a game reload…

And Jay is proving to be pretty damn unkillable this go round now that I’ve noticed he’s still alive.  He’s gone and knocked up simself Cait.  What she sees in an old centenarian widower is beyond me.  MUCH LESS having his babies.

I find this special because it doesn’t say WHICH Dan is the father of Ethan’s kid.  It’s just a thumbnail of a stork…

Either way, Dan or Dan ruined his marriage with Shanna

Shanna: “The baby looks like BOTH of them!!”

Ethan: “But I’m not that big of a whore :(”

And finally, Sharon is back to dating cousins, this time with Grady’s brother, because once you go Secksie… ok, I got nothing.

I shall end this chapter with a Valentines day send off:

Hee hee, pointless gifs.

About missmiserie

I make sims legacies and update them once every other blood moon :)
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29 Responses to Love Failures

  1. Rochelle says:

    I’M PREGNANT AGAIN?!?!!?!!?!?!?!?!

    Gosh, Talahassee! I want to get him fixed! I’m starting to think he DOES have me locked in his basement! I thought she would be smarter than that!

    Okay…no I didn’t.

    I like CT! She’s green, and she seems like she’ll be cute!

    Aw. I really hope Bear can find love. He’s too good looking not to have little blue babies!

    Hahahaha, Bella and Goo Goo! That had me laughing for a good amount of time!

    • missmiserie says:

      I like to think that at least she’s breeding. Most simselves like to stand on their porches and stare at each other til they get old and die, but no, your simself was ASSERTIVE… maybe too assertive…

  2. Monkey Buns says:

    I love that GIF. Poor Dolly and her failed prom date and you got in some nice dirty jokes in there 😉

    Really sucks that you have had so many failures/crashes. My game is starting to lag real bad so I restarted the comp and I’ll have to try now.

    How many sims do you have in your household? I have like 12 or 11 that might be why mine is lagging. I just hope the lagging doesn’t lead to crashing.

    Does it take you like 5 minutes to load a game save? Mine does >_< Pain in the ass I tell you!

    • missmiserie says:

      Let’s see, three pets and eight people so about eleven sims in the house. That and the town is packed… I might go around and kill old people again, that seemed to fix some of my problems the last time I started murdering them XD

      Five minutes? You’re lucky, I consider it already a good day if the game is up and running before the 20 minute mark D: but it’s always been like that, that’s the norm with my game really.

      • Mrs green buns says:

        Lol that makes me feel better. Its good to have a hubby that works with tech stuff. He built my computer it use to be his, he likes to game.

        I couldn’t play the sims on my computer because it would always crash like 10 min in. I had a dell xps. But it’s really old from when I was a teen.

      • missmiserie says:

        I have had this computer for about 5 or so years (?) not really sure. Not the best computer to start a long legacy on, but I wasn’t thinking that at the time -_-

    • sachaxbeswick says:

      If my game save loading time was 5 minutes, I would be jumping for joy….mine takes about 25 mins, no joke, but the game is fine once it loaded x 😦

      • missmiserie says:

        At this moment, I spend that time reading Harry Potter while waiting for the thing to load. I get through a chapter on average per loading screen. During the time between now and two chapters ago, I’m almost finished with the Deathly Hallows *game fail*

      • Haha, I know what you mean…. I own an iPad and it is quite amusing to play angry birds while waiting xxx
        You know after you create a family? And the little thing comes up before the family portrait saying processing? This takes just as long, a lot of the time longer. Usually 30 minutes, which is why I make do with the pre mades. One time, when I was creating JUST A HORSE, I got together some friends, went to the movies, watched a film and when I came back, it was still not done. Grrr. Sometimes making Pauline wan and hank goddard have loads of kids a still cheat on each other gets a little old 😦 I might download some of your sims when I get home from my grans (ugh) and play with them…. I’m on hiatus with my prettacy, since no-one is reading and I can’t be bothered, so i’ll wait until people are reading x hahaha you’re probably to lazy to read all of this, I would be, I’m just boreddddd x

        Sacha x

  3. Lynnwood says:

    I was so excited when I saw an update. XD The Secksies never fail to make me laugh. Poor Dolly not getting her prom, 😦 And it sux that your game keeps crashing all the time. I was having some pretty bad crashes myself but a friend of mine told me a fix. Something about DEP. I am very computer illiterate, so I don’t even really know what that means ( is fail ) but the good news is it’s seemed to work and I haven’t had any problems since. In case you haven’t done this, or don’t know how (and assuming you run on a PC not a MAC), I’ll C&P the instructions she gave me. Hope it helps, and good luck!

    1) Open Control Panel
    2) Double click on System
    3) Click on Advanced System Settings (up in the green area on the left side)
    4) Click on the Settings button under the Performance section
    5) Click on the Data Execution Prevention tab
    6) Click on “Turn on DEP for all programs and services except those I select” and then click Add.
    7) Navigate to your C: drive, and find all of the .exe files from ALL eps/sps…there are two in the base game folder. When you find the .exe files, just select them and click Open. Then go back to Add and do the next file. I’m sure you probably know this, but just to make it even more clear, the .exe files are in: Program Files (x86) > Electronic Arts > The Sims 3 > Game > Bin…same for all of the eps/sps. Just remember there are two for the base game, and then the rest of the eps/sps only have one. The ep/sp ones will be titled something like TS3EP01/02/03/etc. And the SP ones will be titled something like TS3SP01/02/03/etc. And I *believe* the base game ones are titled TS3 and TS3W or something like that.
    8 ) After you have them all added, click ok and restart your computer. Then when your computer reloads, you should hopefully be able to play without crashing!

    • missmiserie says:

      I think I have done this before, and if not, something that sounds a lot similar from the last time I had a bad breakout of the crashes. I can’t remember why I reset it back to the default though, but I’ll try this, or I’ll try this again! Thanks for that idea!

  4. madlyeely says:

    WTF is Jay smoking that has kept him alive so long?! How old is he exactly? O_O

    • missmiserie says:

      I estimate he’s got to be around 150ish, even though the limit is 125-126ish… his age probably reset somehow at some point or another, so I bet if I go check it right now it would be at the beginning of his elder state… not the first time that’s happened before.

  5. Anoniemouse says:

    XD
    Bear can breed with some of my sims.
    I can’t wait for the next chapter!

    And about your crashes. I think (for some reason) that you have Twallan’s story progression mod, and if I’m correct you have a bunch of the add-ons too. I was having similar problems, so I got rid of some of them and already my game is working much better. If you haven’t tried that already then maybe that’ll help, and if you have then at least I tried. 😛 And if you don’t have Twallan’s mod then disregard everything I just said and I’ll go curl in a corner and cry. 😀

    • missmiserie says:

      I am starting to look at Twallan’s mod as a culprit, not the first time it’s messed up my game (post generations, if you can remember, it would kill whole towns for god knows what reason…)

      I’m going to go with over population as a reason right now, ritualistically kill off some old people in need of dying off already, and if that doesn’t work, start removing my fancy mods… ;_;

  6. sachaxbeswick says:

    Has my sim self still not worked ? 😦 either way, awesome chapter.

    I think there needs to be some new whores around here x

    • missmiserie says:

      Your simself still isn’t working D: so I have a question. What EPs and SPs do you have? Sometimes my game won’t take things with the Late Night EP (and yet sometimes it does) and I don’t know what other SPs there are that could be keeping your sim from working.

      • I have world adventures, ambitions, pets, high end loft stuff, generations, i cant think right now, but all expansiosn except late night and showtime if thats out yet and no stuff packs except high end loft stuff x

  7. Malin says:

    Poor Dolly. At first I thought her date would pick her up on that bike on the road, but then I noticed it wasn’t moving. 😦

  8. SimBlip says:

    S sorry she missed her prom and that last pic…. aw heartbreaking.
    Amazing you have Elinthas in a Redneck Family! How anyone of those divine creatures would be bound with Seckies…*shakes head*… but heyho let’s see what happens. At least I don’t feel like the Seckies are a boring bunch of racists anymore! 🙂

  9. Gargantua says:

    LOL! Ball beard. Hehe. Poor Dolly! Being stood up and then being yelled at by your Dad does not a happy prom night make. But I suppose I can understand why Tal wants to rub Bear’s nose in his successful procreation. You would that the unibrow would make him untouchable, and Bear is considerable more sexy than Tal, yet it is Tal that is producing offspring. Something ain’t right in Secksie town… 🙂

  10. Yuukihime says:

    You might want to try using master controller to delete the racoon’s and deer’s in your town. My town started crashing after I installed pets and Twallan’s SP together. It turns out SP ages up the Racoons and Deers and their elder outfit is broken causing the game to crash. If you delete them, they’ll re spawn as adults which corrects the problem. Dunno if this has already been suggested though so.. ^^;

    • missmiserie says:

      Why is the elder outfit broken?! You’d think EA would have that problem fixed before Pets’ releaseOH WAIT.
      That’s a good idea. I guess I’m going deer and raccoon hunting. GET IT :D?! Because its a REDNECK LEGACY, it’s what they DO! HARDY HAR HAR *is shot*

      • Yuukihime says:

        I have no idea, lol. I think Twallen’s SP ages up deers and raccoons when they are not meant to be aged up but I had a problem with crashing on pets and I found out that Story Progression had been aging up those two and it like..breaks the game and causes it to crash. I think it’s more of the fact that deer’s and Raccoons age up when they’re not meant to, but the crashes stopped after I force deleted a Raccoon and both deers. The only problem is, they’ll keep aging up so you have to go in about once ever two to three sim weeks and manually delete them so the game doesn’t break. Haha XD Not sure if that’s your problem but, who knows?

      • missmiserie says:

        Well they are dead now anyway, I guess I’ll just have to keep an eye on them.

  11. Madcapp says:

    Bear should not have to put up with Tal and his eccentricities LoL

    The horses had me laughing, even though it did get really disturbing. What were they all doing in the barn anyway?!

    I do hope you can find a way to fix the crashing. How depressing. 😦

  12. StyxLady says:

    Bahaha, Bear is so adorably awkward. I’m lovin’ overprotective Tater, too. Poor Dolly. Gah, you posted this sooo long ago. I fail at keeping up.

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