It’s just been that kind of weekend for updates, hasn’t it? Just an uneventful week otherwise anyway.
“Oh noes! Then wut did’ya do?!”
“I squeezed on my little Tater doll I made out of a clip of your hair and hid under the blankets until morning. I may or may not have also wet myself.”
So last time Tater was left at the salon, considering hot married chicks and being forced to listen to Ethan’s tales of horror and forced feelings. When all of a sudden:
WAIT, something more important is happening, Dale…
Ok, back to you then, Dale.
Tallahassee: “Who was he again?”
Bella: “I think he was an old hobo Pat took pity on and cared for?”
“Sigh. Fine, I’ll go.”
“MOM! It’s me, ur friggin’ SON! Wut the fuck?!”
“OH, I’m sorry Bear! You just look so much like your father, I can’t tell in this darkness…”
“Wut are yew talkin’ bout, I look nothin’ like papa! How can yew confuse me fur ur red headed husband?!”
Speaking of awkward flirts:
“What can I say, the microwave jus’ can’t do it fur me like it used to! Besides, I’ve been hearin’ bout how much guy trouble you’ve been havin’, Tater.”
“Aw… I’m going to be alone forever, aren’t I…”
Poor Nascar, that looks so pitiful.
“Yeah, maybe that wus a lil harsh on the poor guy, he hasn’t had any luck since his one failing flirt wid’ some chick in Twinbrook…”
No Tater. I know Nascar is lonely but we aren’t breeding with the robot. He’ll find something.
I knew that wouldn’t last long.
Ken Woodard: “Oh your eyes are so beautiful, I could just loose myself forever in them!”
“Whoa dude, I haven’t even taken yew home yet!”
While Tater spends his time looking for his pepper spray, the camera drags me back to the house for something:
I’m sorry, I forgot and now it’s too late. Then again, the horses don’t need to stand around and complain about it all hours of the day after your caking anyway.
Um, no one is playing Oblivion anymore, Bear. It’s all about Skyrim now.
“Oh, um… *rubs face paint off forehead*”
Doesn’t matter, he had the damn logo upside down anyway XD
I know, I stared way too long too.
Is it sad that I took at least five photos like this? ._.
“Carrots are good for your eyes, baby.”
Not in your case they aren’t.
“Oh Pat dear, I think it’s time for a little “rub down” if you know what I’m saying ;)”
“Oh WOW, my wife is coming on to ME, for once! Oh yeah baby, git in that bedroom!”
Nascar: * invisible headdesk*
I finally went back to see how Tater and Ken were getting along, only to find…
“I can’t really… I think ur zipper’s a lil stuck…”
“Ooh yeah, that’s ok, just take your time…”
“Nah, movies cost too much money. This is fine right here, just like this.”
“Wow, yew must be a cheap ass…”
And so ends their first date.
“Wut? Oh, I’m nawt graduatin’, I flunked.”
Tal: “Aw, Bear…”
Tal: “This family hates me :(”
“Oh, so yew did git a girlfrien’ after all, son!”
“Um, no dad, he’s just naturally this pretty ._.”
“-where’d yew say yew were from?”
“Well, I’m from Hidden Springs, but right now I live in a field without so much as a toilet or a fridge. But I love your house, it’s pretty cozy and nice for a dumpy trailer! Better than a empty space with a rabid raccoon fighting you over for trash scraps.”
“I didn’t choose this hawse as furst choice ‘n yew know this Bella.”
“Yes well, you should also know I’m more high class than this and you still chose something with a tarp on the roof. Congrates Pat, you win home keeper of the year.”
“Shufup I’ll do wua’ I wua-”
“See papa, now don’t yew feel silly?”
“Oh God Tater, make your mother stop that! What’s wrong with her?!”
“BELLA, nawt at the dinner table… meet me in the bedroom in three minutes! I need to have a “talk” wid’ yew…”
“Psst, that means we’re gonna go do sex things :D”
“…I can kind of tell from Tater’s muffled sobs…”
“Tee hee… would you like to join us, Ken?”
“UM, I think that getting in a bed with YOU is a REALLY BAD idea…”
“TATER, I’m leaving now, this is too awkward for me!”
(I’m not kidding, Bella stood over Ken and did her gesture four times in a row. God, she’s desperate…)
“Um, did we come back at a bad time or something?”
“Well I’m not an alien, and I didn’t like being called as such.”
“Well if it makes yew feel better, we ain’t racist ‘r anythin’. She’s just stupid.”
“*GASP* Pizza coupons!”
“Um… just meet me in the back in two seconds…”
“La dee da, I have no idea where Tater is at or what I’m supposed to do now *does WHATEVER he fucking wants*”
Tater in a distance: “Dammit Ken, I’ve been waiting naked in the hay for 30 minutes, git ur scrawny ass out here before the burrs git too far in mah butt!”
And so they never got around to doing it yet.
“Skyrim! It’s so AWESOME, Cletus!”
“… I don’t know, the graphics aren’t as gud as they were hyped up to be…”
“Naw, it’s just this damn ole’ ass tv… damn non-HD cheap ass crap…”
“I like that Luthur’ boy better than you! He used to bring me chewin’ tur’baccer to win mah favor, you don’t bring me a damn thing!”
“Well I think you are just plain old trash, sir! >:O”
“Oh dear, I don’t like the sound of that out there…”
“Haha, he’s green.”
“CAN I JUST GO BACK TO MY HOUSE NOW?”
“Dear, yew lived in a field, yew don’t have a hawse to go back to.”
“But YEW are my house, Tater!”
“OH KEN! Ain’t yew jus’ the sweetest thang!”
Horse Bella: “LOL I have no idea how I got up on the porch! I are a horse!”
“Well, considering it took us five hours to figure out how to get off the porch with the horse stuck through the roof, I guess it’s ok so far.”
“Well I’m about to make it better for ya…”
(DAMN PHOTOBOMBING CAT)
“Oh… YES! Yes I will, Tater!”
“And I can’t believe you said yes after my mama came on to ya ‘n my dad carried on the way he did!”
“Bah, your parents aren’t so bad, I can live with them if it means I get to live with you! Oh Tater, this is the best night ever!”
“It was goin’ fine! I don’t know wut happened or how I ended up back here!”
Nascar: * invisible headdesk*