D: I didn’t really have a title for this chapter. I’m getting slack on titles anyway.
“Glad to meet yew lil’ gurl. Mah name’s Tallahassee.”
“Git them outta mah room!”
Mt. Dew has all the worst luck in the world when it comes to the ghosts. Poor child. I’d say when she gets older that she’s going to snap and go on a murderous rampage, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t want to create more ghosts.
Tallahassee: *reveals demonic black hole for a neck that imaginary friends are infamous for*
“Pat, I don’t understan’ ur mama! I try to be all sweet wid her, ‘n she doesn’t want anythin’ to do wid’ the ring! Wut did I do wrong?!”
“Well, fur starters, it might have something to do wid yew cheatin’ on her ‘n havin’ ‘nother baby wid’ ‘nother woman. I donno, might jus’ be me thinkin’ that out loud.”
“So lemme guess, I should be more like yew ‘n ur wife huh? Faithful to no end?”
“Um, YEAH, duh.”
“Well, I’m gonna git ur mama yet! Gonna put on my perv face ‘n try ‘gain!”
“I sense that I shouldn’ta come into the kitchen right now.”
“Son? Wut’re yew doin’, ur lettin’ her get away! Hey, now, watch where yew put that hand, boy!”
“I ain’t touchin’ ur junk, papa, but yew ain’t touchin my mama!”
“Do yew want me to beat yew, cuz’ I’ll still tear yo ass up!”
And Deborah made a clean escape and went to eat with her grandchildren. Dale still can’t catch a break.
“Ok guys, I’m gettin’ REAL sick of this kid in this hawse! Someone better do somethin’ bout him before I do!”
“Oh sissy, yew won’t do anything to me, yew wuv everything ’bout me, even my deathly ghost baby stink!”
“Pfft, wutever, yew stupid brat.”
*Four hours later, I’m not kidding*
“OMG! My brother is a GHOST!”
Soon after she fainted, all the adults left her on the floor to go on a vacation, leaving her alone with Tater and all the ghosts.
Tired of Mt. Dew’s pitiful reactions to everything in the house, I sent her out with her brother to make friends. She was so anxious to get away from all the ghosts that she ran out in her PJs.
“Haha, that girl be trippin!”
“Be nice now, Styx. It’s not everyday that my son Mack gets to meet other children. With him being so alone after I lost his brother a long time ago.”
“An’ when I opened my lil’ brother’s diaper…”
I’m quite sure when you ment ‘ghost story’ that you weren’t going to speak from experience, Tater.
“Well it’s a true story and that makes it all the more frightenin’!”
“You got a good point, remind me to never ever come to your house.”
“…STOP looking up my skirt, boy.”
Mt. Dew wanted to find a rock, so I sent her and her brother into the woods, and before I realized it, Tater let his sister run into the woods by herself because he was too busy rolling wants for the simself girls.
So little, tiny, coward Mt. Dew is now in the woods. Alone.
“I’D RATHER BE YELLIN’ AT BEAR RIGHT NOW”
“I found a rock, let’s go home now!”
Holy crap, I didn’t know this was behind the army base.
“Well yeah. Mama says it’s a gov’ment conspiracy, cuz they coverin’ up the aliens bein’ heer. But mama says that the aliens will return one day soon, and bring back the “sweet sweet probes” wutever those are.”
I’m sure she did say that.
“Hey Luanne, ain’t that ur husband’s affair baby wid the Bella gurl?”
“Shuddup mama. ‘R I’ll punch yew in the jaw!”
“Now that dem ghosts are reset, are yew gonna cook supper ‘r somethin’ now?”
“Wut, no! The adults in the house are gone! I’m gonna PARTY!”
“Yew can’t host no party! Yew can’t even hold ur own phone right!”
“… Damn, ur right… can ya go into the kitchen, git the landline phone and call an ambuhlance? This hurts.”
Tater got 17 stitches and invited the only known teen in town, Luther. Trust me, I looked all over town for other teens. He’s the only one.
“I can’t believe someone liked me enough to invite me to their house! I feel like I have friends!”
Bloaty: “Dang, and I thought I was the lonesome one.”
Actually, two people were at the party, but this kid was already here “babysitting” Bear, and by babysitting, I mean he sat in the dining room all day while the other two were gone, making mixed drinks and getting as hammered as possible.
“Well, ish *hic* not like if somethins happens to *hic* the kid, he’s gonna die ‘r som*hic*thing.”
He might have a point.
“Mmm, Dat ass.”
BTW, this is the party. Welcome to Tater’s shindig.
“WOOO! Best party ever!!!!1!”
“OMG shut up Luther, no one at school likes you.”
“You shut up Edwardo, you’re nothing but a bully!”
“And you’re nothing but a loser.”
“I said SHUT UP” *POW*
Violence with a smile 😀
“Um, shouldn’t you, uh, use the door correctly or something?”
“Hey, UR the one that decided to face the bushes. And cuz’ this is ur fault… can ya call the paramedics out heer one more time fur me?”
“Heheh, nerd. He’s never gonna go know wut hit him!”
“BUT HARK! TEH DRAGON BE SLAINITH AND THE PEOPLE OF CASTLE SIMTON BE GRACIOUS!”
Unseen Mt. Dew: “YO LUTHER DUDE! SHUT UP OVUR THERE I’M TALKIN’ TO MACK ON THE PHONE! Jeez.”
Bloaty: “…I feel like I’ve been standing in the same spot for hours, stared at by a dead albino deer.”
“What the hell dude?! I know it was you that did that! Why would you embarass me at your party like this?! (namely the only other person there wouldn’t have given a shit, but still)”
“Cuz’ ur a nerd, ‘n nerd’s ‘r funneh!”
“Well, you’re a fuckface, because you’re a fuckface!”
“Whoa whoa whoa! Wut’s wid all the mean spiritness all’a sudden?!”
“Well what, you friendly?! I guess I’m not the nerd you thought I was!”
“An’ heer I was thinkin’ the opposite way ’round! Hope yew get used to nawt bein’ invited to mah parties anymore!”
“OMG YOU TWO GET A ROOM”
“SHUT UP EDWARDO YEW WEREN’T EVEN INVITED TO STAY”
Dale? What are you and the other adults doing controllable now and what are you doing home all of a sudden?!
“We couldn’t resist the urge to fuck wid’ Tater’s party. ‘Sides, we gave yew a frickin’ nota’facation, yew really need to pay more ‘ttention to those!”
I can’t help if all my notifications get all mixed up in ‘I SAW BEAR’S GHOST’ memory messages DX<
Hurry Tater, maybe if you get rid of them quick enough, they’ll run by Dale and he won’t see them!
“Don’t worry, I already yelled at Luth’r, ‘n he went home cryin to… well nawt his mama ‘r papa cuz they both de’d.”
“LEAVE IT LUTH’R I AIN’T CALLIN’ THE PARAMEDICS OUT HEER THREE TIMES TONIGHT”
“WUT IS WRONG WID’ YEW, LETTIN’ UR BIG BROTHER THROW A PARTY WITHOUT ME, YEW SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF URSELF!”
“OH MAH GAWD WHUR’S MAH BELT, YOU GIT IN TIME OUT YOUNG LADY”
Actually she’s getting in trouble for making a D in school, but I found it strange that that was Dale’s first concern as soon as he came home ._.
“‘N I bet yew messed wid the fireplace at some point too, didn’t yew?!”
“I hate yew Gramma.”
Oh yeah, Bear grew up during the party by the way.
“I can’t believe yew furgot my-”
Yeah yeah, birthday, watch me care.
“I APPROVE OF MY SON!”
“Bear, who is this crazy bitch?”
“I don’t really know, Tallahassee ._.”
The next afternoon, everything went back to normal, including Mt. Dew’s almost daily visit to the corner.
“Well I’d make a bettur grade in my school if I didn’t have’ta be reset everytime I need to do homework, but nooo, Gramma Deb’ruh can’t understand that.”
“Ok, mah hour is up, I’m gonna go do homework now-”
“A D IN SCHOOL, MT. DEW?! HOW COULD YOU GET A D IN SCHOOL?!”
“Um, because YALL KEEP YELLIN’ AT ME ‘BOUT IT ‘N WON’T LET ME DO MY HOMEWORK?!”
“A D IS NOT ACCEPTABLE, YOU GET BACK IN THAT CORNER AND YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR GRADE.”
“Yall jus’ want me to be miserable all the time!”
Ok, this constant scolding shit has got to go.
“HAHA, dis slut thinks she can sit at the same table as me, wut a dumb bitch.”
“HEY if you think I’m a slut, look at this article I found in the paper!”
Deborah: “I don’t understand how yew think this is slutty, Bella, those two are FAITHFUL to each other!”
“Ew, my best friend from all time is a ghost! :(”
Bear offshot crying: “WHY YALL GOTTA BE MEAN TO ME ALL THE TIME”
Nascar, what are you doing eating people food? What happened to the 578 pieces of scrap that you had stored up?
“Oh, that’s all gone. It all went away since the last save, like the first dodge charger. I donated it to less fortunate simbots. Dispite the fact that I’m the only simbot. But still, it’s donated.”
“Why’s mah brother ‘n sister sleepin’ outside of the school while prom’s goin’ on? Don’t they know that this is embarassin’ me?!”
Well, if Mt. Dew goes home, all she’s going to do is stand in a corner for three hours. At least let her have the energy to do so. Bear, ok, he doesn’t really have an excuse.
“Wut can I say, when I git angry, I git horny.”
Nooo, more like you get horny, and Luther is your only option.
Edwardo from the spiked punch bowl table: “But *hic* wua bout meee :(”
“But I’mma great dancer! Hince the second fight. Haters ‘r jus’ gonna hate.”
I think Tater is just too wound up on hormones.
“Those yall’s kids, Bella? Strange, I can’t recognize the blue one as my nephew…”
“Can’t hear you, reading a broken book, lalalalalalala.”
“Hey Deb’ruh. I’m glad yew finally got sum time to meet me heer.”
“Wut’s this ’bout Dale? Cuz, if ur askin’ me to marry yew ‘gain…”
“Dale… I’ve already told yew, ur jus’ settin’ ur own self up fur some surious heartbreak.”
“Deb’ruh, ur bein’ rediculous! I know ur 88 ‘n prolly think yew could die any day now! But I know yew won’t! I love yew too much fur yew to go now wid’out yew knowin’ how much I really care! Please!”
“Oh, the dreaded friendly-forehead kiss. Jus’ kick me in the nuts ‘n git ovur wid’.”
While Dale and Deborah were busy failing to get it on, the repo man paid a visit. I know I paid the bills, but I think I know why the repo man comes sometimes anyway. I think if I pay the bills, and then turn the game off before the mailman comes the next day, it doesn’t count. Because this is pretty frequent. Any other ideas though?
LAY A HAND ON THE CHARGER AND I’LL MUTILATE YOU
“I won’t touch your precious car. Besides, I’ve dislocated my arm getting this gun out.”
“No, I just came over to laugh at this slut! Ha ha, what a dumb hoe.”
She lied, she took their toilet too.
“All I wanted to do was take a shower :(”
“‘Kay, it sucks ‘n all bout the motorcycle, but we kinna’ gotta error code 12 problem comin’ on ‘gain.”
D: So much for your prom boyfriend, Tater.
Don’t look at me like that. You’ll get to go to prom again next chapter.