Broken

Soooo, Generations comes out today, I’m excited!  I, however, still don’t have my copy, because I don’t want to go pick it up (YES, I bought the disk, I KNOW and am FULLY AWARE that I’m still in the Stone ages and could have gotten it offline.  But I don’t like buying things on the computer.  I didn’t even buy points online, I got the card, and STILL had a horrible fit about putting the code in on the website.)

So here’s a chapter that I’ve been forced to play four times (I LOVE MY COMPUTER) and then by the time you hear from me again, I should have my own copy of Generations! YAY!

Before I go to the Secksies, I would like to show you their portrait from the loading screen.  Take a good look at what’s wrong.

It’s not because there are 9 people in this house, or the fact that Deborah looks awkward and naked down there, it’s the fact that Dallas, the toddler from the last chapter, is being carried.  He grew up, he’s a child now.  Tell me why he still needs someone carrying him around like he’s 2 again?!  And of all people, he’s got his 80 year old grandmother hauling his heavy ass around.  At least get your dad to to carry your needy ass, jeez!

Anyway, back to his birthday.

“Luk mawma!  I grew up to luk ‘XACTLY like yew in every way!  I’m your purfect clone!”

“Gawddammit.”

Yep, Dallas is a clone.  Not a damn trace of Jay in him anywhere.

What a waste of perfectly good genes.

“I feel like nawt doin’ a damn thing again today!  Time fur sum futbawl watchin’ in tv again!”

Some good, lazy, stupid, genes.

So to free up some more room for an heir/spare that doesn’t repeat an entire generation, I moved Dixie, Jay, and Dallas to the house down the street.  So much for that double heirship, but I feel I can get better genes out of Deb and Dale if I try again anyway.  A little dissappointed, but Dallas sucked.

“At least we ain’t movin’ in a hawse wid’ dem damn ghosts anymore.”

And don’t worry about Darrell getting upset about losing his baby girl.  He’s a little preoccupied with his new… toy.

BEHOLD.  A 1969 Dodge Charger!  The same damn car from the Dukes of Hazzard.  When I saw this beauty on modthesims, I KNEW this car HAD to be in my game.  What redneck wouldn’t want their own little General Lee?!

Actually, without the 01 on the side and the confederate flag on the roof of the car, it’s just not the same Lee feeling… like how Mountain Lightning is to Mountain Dew… not the same.

So I named the car the Stonewall Jackson.  I don’t think Darrell cares.

“OH SHIT MAN MAH OWN CHARGER! I’m so HAPPY, I DONE GONE PISSED MAHSELF!”

So glad you like it Darrell.

“I wanna go find a ramp ‘n jump this thing offa’ it RIGHT NOW!”

Meanwhile, since Dale slept with Edith in the last chapter, in front of his own son, he had nightmares about it all night that night.

Who am I kidding, this is Dale we are talking about.  He was probably wet dreaming about her AND Deborah at the same time ._.

Speaking of Deborah.

“Dammit Nascar.  I gotta stop comin’ in heer ‘n findin’ yew makin’ out widda’ fridge.  We eat outta’ these appliances yew know.”

“I don’t MAKE OUT widda’ fridge, Deb’ruh.  Yall know as well as I do that I’m loyal to mah microwave gurlfriend.”

“That’s nawt wut the dishwasher says, Nascar.  But since we are on the topic of cheatin’, mama, I got somethin’ I need to talk to yew ’bout…”

“Hey hon.  How wus ur playdate wid’ ur papa yesterday?”

“Uh, ’bout that mama.  Papa didn’t take me to the park like yew told him to.  We didn’t even git to go to McDonalds.  Mama, I met one’uh papa’s friends yesterday, ‘n it wus this lady…”

“An’ I thought papa wus only supposed to kiss on yew ‘n stuff but he sed it was ok, becuz affairs are gangsta’ r somethin’, ‘n I just wanna know, wut does ‘affair’ mean?  Huh?

…Mama?  Yew ok?”

“Mama?  Yew kinna’ got dat’ hundred yard stare goin’ on…  yew ok, mama?”

“I’m… gonnaKILL HIM!!”

“WHOA!  Mama, calm down!  Please don’t git angry, I’ll jus’ luk it up inna’ dictionary later!”

“It’s nawt that, hon… just tell me though… wut exactly did yew see at this lady’s hawse?”

“Well, they kissed a lot ‘n then disappeared fur a few minutes… ‘n do yew remembur that time I walked in on yew ‘n papa ‘wrestlin’ in ur bedroom, ‘n yew sed it was a special ‘mommy-daddy wrestle’?  Well, they were doin’ the ‘mommy-daddy wrestle’ too, only wid’ more pig noises.”

“…I think I’m gonna be sick…”

“Don’t worry mama, I was too, all ovur the lady’s livin’ room carpet.  She didn’t like that either.”

“Mama?  Where yew goin’?”

“Nowhere hon… just gonna… wait fur ur papa to come home…”

“Mama, wait!  I see yew leavin’ wid’ that angry thought bubble, don’t do wut I think ur gonna do!”

“Ah, it’s a gud day to be thug, I tell yew wut”

“DALE.  I’VE.  BEEN.  WAITIN’. ON. YEW.”

“Welp, angry gurlfriend, HELLO WALL”

“I’m SURIOUS, Dale.  Git ur ass over heer NOW.”

Where have yew been all day?!

“Uh, workin’ out at the gym, yew know that!”

“So wut’s this I hear frum Pat that yall DIDN’T go to the park, yall went to SEE SOME LADY OF URS?!”

“Oh come on now, Deb baby!  Yew really gonna believe somethin’ a seven year ole’ prolly made up?  He still believes in Santa, ‘n the Tooth Fairy, ‘n that Charles Darwin wus a real person!”

“Oh don’t give me that CRAP, Dale!  That kinna’ thing ISN’T somethin’ a 7 year ole’ boy LIES ’bout!  Now yew start tellin’ me wut the fuck yall did yesterday, or I swear, I’ll snap ur neck right heer and now…”

“Oh come on guys, don’t fight!  Nawt while Hell’s Kitchen is on!  I wanna hear the British guy talk!”

“Pat hon, I think yew need to go to bed right now, ‘n let me talk to papa, ook?”

“Are yall arguin’ bout that Edith lady, mama?  ‘Cuz I’m scared now ;(”

“WUT DID PAT JUS’ SAY?!  EDITH?!”

“DAMMIT, OK, FINE, IT’S TRUE.  I… went to see Edith yesterday.”

“So… it’s true?  Yew really… c-cheated on me?!”

Poor Deborah looks so sad here MY HEART IS BROKEN

“Yeeaaah… but I didn’t sleep wid’ her, the boy’s lyin’ ’bout that.”

“I wus nawt papa.”

“See, he’s still delusional, who yew gonna believe, me ‘r the lil’ kid?!”

“I SAW yew wrestlin’ wid the lady, papa!”

“He might have a brain problem, Deb baby!  I told yew ya should have gotten him tested!”

“My papa is an asshole.”

“WHAT?!  NAWT ONLY ARE YEW CHEATIN’ ON ME, YEW ARE TRYING TO PIN BLAME ON UR 7 YEAR OLE’ SON?!  WUT THE FUCK’S WRONG WID YEW?!”

“Ok, ok, YES, I did sleep wid’ her!  I’m sorry baby!  But I swear I was thinkin’ of yew the whole time!”

“D-Deb’ruh?  Honey?  Deb baby?  …Debbie Bear?”

“YEW… YEW JUS’… I JUS’…ERG…”

“Oh, ur in fur it now papa…”

YEW SUMBITCH I’LL KILL YEW RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!”

My heart, she is no longer broken *hides*

“Deb?!  Honey?!  Yew don’t mean that!  I know yew don’t!  Yew still love me after all this, I know yew do!  Right?!  RIGHT?!”

“YEW GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY SIGHT DALE!!”

“Debbie baby, now listen to wut ur sayin-”

“I KNOW GUD WELL WUT I’M SAYIN’, DALE!  I’M BREAKIN’ UP WID YEW!  GIT THE FUCK AWAY FRUM ME RIGHT NOW!”

“Oh papa, ur in trouble n-wait, does this mean I’m a divorce child?!”

“DEB!  Yew can’t do this to me baby!  Ur my lil’ shawty!  A playa’ ain’t nothin’ wid’out his lil shawty!”

“Well YEW SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFUR YEW DECIDED THAT YEW WERE A PLAYA.  OUT!”

“I WANT YEW TO NEVER STEP FOOT IN THIS HAWSE AGAIN.  Me and Pat are stayin’ in THIS hawse, ‘n  yew BETTER nawt step past ur lil’ trailer in the yard EVER AGAIN!”

“DEB-”

GIT OUT!

“Pat, dude!  How could yew rat me out like this, bud?!  I thought we were buddies!”

“After yew didn’t take me to McDonalds, no, we ain’t buddies, papa.”

Before Deborah handed out a can of woopass on Dale, she went to throw up all her shame and anger, which I didn’t take a photo of because I was having too much fun watching Dale cry like a little bitch.

That night, Deborah took over Dixie and Jay’s old bedroom, which I finally got around to furnishing.  Comes complete with everything from Deborah’s sketch table to a chainsaw, in case Dale ever tried anything sneaky around while Deborah was in her bed.

I doubt he will though.  He’s too much of a pussy when it comes to Deborah.

“OH, I remembur wen Deb’ruh used to complain ’bout this toilet splashin’ back on her!  OH WAH, MY DEB’RUH, WHY?!”

Because you are a slut, that’s why.

Not five minutes after they broke up, did he roll this wish.

“I jus’ want my ole’ Deb baby back!  I’m NOTHIN’ wid’out her!”

Strangely enough, the feeling is mutual.

“Nawt really, I can live wid’out him.  I just need to keep up ‘pperances so our son doesn’t grow up a psychopath.”

Well that’s one reason.

“Hi Deborah!  You look a little grumpy today.  Want to talk about it?”

“Sigh.  Not really Zelda.”

“You sure?  How about you talk to my friend here, Mr. Bumpybutt!  Say hi, Mr. Bumpybutt!”

“No, I don’t think I want to talk to… Mr. Bumpybutt either.”

“Aw, come on, I talk to Mr. Bumpybutt about all my problems!  Isn’t that right, Mr. Bumpybutt!  ‘Why yesh ma’am Mish Zelda I ish a gweat heawper!’  See, Mr. Bumpybutt is nice!”

“I’m surious, Zelda.  I’m gonna pass on talkin’ to ur hand.”

“Would you like to meet Mr. Bumpybutt’s wife then, Mrs. Snoopypoopy?!  Why, Mr. Bumpybutt, it’s your wife!  ‘Bitchsh, I told you shtay in the kitchen!’  ‘I so sowwie Bumpybutt dear don’t smack me!’ ‘BITCHSH! SMACK!’ ‘AAH!'”

“Why am I friends wid’ yew, Zelda?!”

*ten minutes later*

“So if you broke up with him, why do you still live with his parents?  Just take your son and move out, you can come live with me!”

Iliana from the bushes: *heavycoughing*fuck no*coughcough*

“I can’t… it… jus’ doesn’t work like that…”

“But just because your Pipaw Sinbad and Grandpa Jared are buried there doesn’t mean you are tied to that lot forever!  I mean, you can go on, and find a man you deserve, and get away from that… ‘hillbilly’ life.”

“I really can’t Zelda.  You don’t understand…  I can’t just leave…  I’m…”

“…You’re what?”

“…I’m pregnant.”

“…OOOH.  Well… damn.”

“Ooooh… my hillbilly boo… my shawshank shawty… my pickup truck princess…”

Jeez, you should have picked some better pet names… Anyway, stop crying everytime you go take a wizz, Dale.  It’s really embarrassing.

“Oh Dixie.  Ur my best friend in the world, yew know the shit I go through wid’ ur brother…  Thing is, I’m pregnant again.”

“Oh gawd, I’m tired of this shit…”

“I’m surious, Dixie.”

“It’s just… me ‘n ur brother gawt in a big fight ‘n I’m nawt talkin’ to him anymore… ‘n I jus’ can’t go home right now ‘cuz of me bein’ all pregnant ‘n all… can I crash wid’ yall fur a few days?”

And that’s how Deborah got to sleep on Dixie’s couch for a little while.  I’m sure that’s not good for the baby, but with Dalla’s sleeping in his own bed and Jay and Dixie taking up the others… I mean, how DARE they sleep in their own beds, amirite?!

Of course, the next day, Deborah called Dale to meet her to talk about the news because, well, can’t be in the dark forever, now can he?

“But why’d yew request to meet me in front of the police stat’shun, Dale?”

“Because wut ever I did this time, if yew decide that yew really ARE gonna kill me, Deb’ruh, yew won’t in front of the cops, now will ya?!”

“Well played.”

“Dale, I called yew out heer ‘cuz, well, I know ur a cheatin’ asshole ‘n all, but yew still gotta be a father ‘n all, ya know?”

“Yeah, I’m still there fur Pat ‘n all, even though he doesn’t want anything to do wid’ me now, ‘n keeps walkin’ outta the room wen I walk in, or that time he ran me ovur wid the motorcycle cuz Nascar gave him the keys, or the time he set my junk on fire-”

“DALE I’m pregnant.”

“…Dale?”

“…Uuuugh, that’s not wut I wanted to hear…”

“Well if that’s ur attitude towards this I’ll be expectin’ ur child support in the mail.”

“Oh gawd… this is… really awkward…”

“Yeah… I know…”

Yeah well, it’s about to get REALLY awkward in about ten seconds.

“OH EM GEE, HI DALE!  Didn’t think I’d run into yew here!  I’m glad I ran into you!  I gawt sum great news fur yew Dale!”

“Guess wut Dale!  Ur gonna be a daddy!  Ain’t cha excited!?”

“Dale… WHO IS THIS?”

“Oh Dale!  Who’s this, ur sister?  I thought Dixie was blonde!”

“Oh HER?  Oh um, uh, I have no idea who this woman is!  I swear!  Never laid eyes on her in my life!”

“…DALE…”

“Yeah, ‘n the baby?  I have NO idea who the father could be, nawt at all!  Could be any of these townies!  Could be a WOMAN fur all I know!  I was jus’ helpin’ her find the bistro, that’s all, Edith dear!  That’s all!”

…Just digging the hole deeper, aren’t you, Dale.

“Oh my Dale, now nice of yew.  But yew do know the bistro’s over there, n’ nawt here, right?”

“Oh nice… this is all so… nice… so nice…”

Deborah?  What are you thinking about?  You got that hundred yard stare going on again…

DALE. YEW DUMB BASTARD…

“D-d-deb’ruh we can talk ’bout this later, nawt heer, remembur, the cops are watchin’…”

“NO.  I don’t WANT to HEAR THIS SHIT.  ANYMORE.  GIT OUT of my SIGHT and take your WHORE wid’ yew.”

“I’m smilin’ because I still have no idea wut we’re talkin’ about :D”

“OH!  And as for YEW, YEW LIL’ SLUT”

“What?!  Wuddid’ I do?!”

“OH NO YEW DIN’T”

“SHUT UP DALE”

“Yew see that baby right there?!  Ur lil’ happy baby bump?  All that is IS AN AFFAIR BABY, YEW HEAR ME, YEW LIL SLUT?!”

“Don’t yew be dissin’ Edith, Deb’ruh, leave her OUTTA this!!”

“Yeah, that lil’ fetus of urs is a SON OF A BITCH right thur!  Because that’s all YEW are, a SIDE BITCH!”

“Why are yew so mean, lady?!  Leave my baby outta this!”

“Yew jus’ wait… in three days, wen we are no longer pregnant… yew… me… HEER… ‘n I’m gonna KILL YEW.”

“OH GAWD! HELP! SOMEONE HELP!  This bitch be CRAZY!  DALE!  Do something ’bout ur sister!  DALE?!  …DALE?!”

Don’t bother, he passed out.  I guess he thought fainting was his only way out of this alive…

“Bitch, that’s MY child support lyin’ there…”

“Oh, don’t even THINK yew have a chance, skank…”

Dale: *pretends to sleep*

So that’s it for this chapter.  Dale just makes it worse and worse.  How bad will it get?  Will Pat grow up to be a psychopath after all?  Will Generations even work in my game?!

Now, before I go, I would like to share something I found a little… strange…

Not long after Deborah got knocked up, she wished to read a pregnancy book.  Heading to the bookstore, I saw something on the sidewalk that I found… interesting.

Um.  Skehrer?  That’s not Audio.

“That’s ok, the flirty trait you gave to everyone to help with the breeding is making me fall for Poi Boi so much”

UM

awkward

And to make it weirder, the makeover I gave Skehrer REALLY matches Poi Boi’s outfit.  That was unintentional, and scary.

I’m going to do something else now.

Wait, I have one more thing to say about these two

IF these sims are together, what do you think their legacies would be like merged together?

Would it be something like the Pollination-Food Legacy?  The Foodination?

Where all the sims are named Tang, and Freeze Dried Ice Cream and Space Meat?  YES, I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS STUFF

*is shot*

About missmiserie

I make sims legacies and update them once every other blood moon :)
This entry was posted in Generation 6. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Broken

  1. skehrer says:

    I still buy the CDs too. They are cheaper becaue you can usually find them on sale somewhere. But did you know all you have to do is redeem your product code in the EADM to have a digital copy? True story.
    Great update! Dale is such a dawg! I love it!
    Umm… My sim self it turning out to be a bit of a tramp. Maybe she is paying Audio back for something he never did in your game? I may have to name someone Space Meat now!

    • missmiserie says:

      See, I didn’t know that. I should redeem those codes because I have a long history of loosing discs. Now that I think of it, I have NO idea where my Ambitions case is…

      I have no idea what your simself is doing, I went to check out her relationships this afternoon and she’s romantically interested in Audio and Poi Boi, Audio is interested in your simself and Holly Alto, and Pilot is into one of the Bunch boys… it’s so sad… oh, and your sim daughter hates you but is friends with Poi Boi. Explain that XD

      OH, and your simself and your daughter are the only other sims Poi Boi knows. *shrug*

      • skehrer says:

        That tramp Holly Alto is trying to take my man! She needs to keep her skank fingers off my baby’s daddy! My simself on the other hand I guess likes to sample the local meat. I guess I can’t really blame her daughter for hating her sim mothers are awful to their babies! They leave them anywhere.

    • Madcapp says:

      Oh man I’m so happy to hear that. I lost my World Adventures disc when we moved from Virginia to freaking Oregon. All my stuff is back in the old house still but I have no way to go across the country and hunt it down. >,< At least when they ship me my disc case I can get the digital copy. I really need to reinstall to try and get rid of my glitchy CC.

      • skehrer says:

        If you registered your game at the sims website, you may be able to look up your code. I’m not at my computer to know for sure so don’t quote me. I’ll see if I can check on this thing after I comment. Anyway, you don’t need your disk in your computer when you register.

      • Skehrer says:

        No sorry, I’m full of crap. I just checked, it is not on The Sims 3 site, it’s in EDAM/Origin. You could have them tell you or email you the code.

  2. poi_boi says:

    Ok its time for me to go add Miss Miserie to the Pollination Legacy and have some fun >: D

  3. Gargantua says:

    Ahhh…drama in the trailer park. Gotta love it. But I have to admit that I really hope Dale gets what is coming to him and that Deborah is the one who gets to dish it out. It is going to be interesting to see if all this gives poor Pat nightmares once you get Generations installed.

    And I will confess to being a disk purchaser as well. I just don’t trust all the digital downloads. And if my computer ever goes kaput, I want to be able to reinstall.

    • missmiserie says:

      Pat hasn’t said a whole lot since the incident happened. He’s gotten really quiet, unlike his toddler counterpart.

      Same here, but I’m sure if you DID have the digital downloads, you could reinstall if anything went wrong, I think the data would be saved on your account or something. That being said, I would THEN worry about hacking and horrible stuff like that.

  4. Tree says:

    I can’t buy Generations because I don’t have a job… 😥 But I also purchase the discs, because I don’t know… I just like discs more. old skool, yo.

    This chapter made me think of an episode of Trailer Park Boys where Ricky gets out of jail and goes to visit J-Roc because he wants to start selling weed again, and J-Roc has his two baby mamas washing his gangsta mobile. That’s what Dale should do, ALLLLL problems would be fixed.

    OK STORYTIME! I started my own legacy (no blog though even though I have a LOT of pictures because I’m too lazy to make a blog ahaha derp) AND SINBAD MARRIED MY FOUNDER. And I was like, “Oh, Sinbad is evil, time to make him have an affair!” so I tried to make him have an affair with Amy Bull, which was fine until he was like YEAH LET’S BANG NOW and she was like “lolno” and because I have Late Night, Sinbad was a celebrity which means HIS WIFE FOUND OUT AND HE DIDN’T EVEN REALLY DO ANYTHING. I am so mad. I made him beat the SHIT out of Amy, because she sucks and wouldn’t sleep with him. I had an elaborate plan and she ruined it.

    And also their oldest child got the weird mutation gene so she has green hair. And not nice, pretty green, it’s like… Nasty baby poop green.

    The end.

    • missmiserie says:

      I was like that too with LN, couldn’t get it because I didn’t have a job. Now I got a job to pay all the money back that I spent on Generations so I can afford rent XD

      Oh Sinbad. Beating up Amy isn’t going to get you laid 😀

      Ugly green hair? What color was the mother’s hair, because I don’t think Sinbad would have that in his genes ._o

      • Tree says:

        The mother had red hair… Like Weasley family red. I was like wtf your child should be a redhead IN SOME SENSE. I was reading on the Sims wiki (don’t judge me) about the genetics in the Sims 3, and apparently there’s a 10% mutation rate, which is what causes those random, wonky hair colors like… baby poop green. Cute. It only affects hair and eye color, too.

        Unfortunately, the launcher broke when I went to install the new patch, so I had to uninstall EVERYTHING because I didn’t think to just go searching for a fix, so I lost the save. :/ My game is fixed now but I still have to start all over, so I’m kind of pissed. 😡

      • missmiserie says:

        The launcher broke when I went to install the patch too! OH GOD, I didn’t have to uninstall and reinstall anything, THANK GOD, but now I’m scared to update anything D:

  5. I also buy CD’s so you’re not alone. I just got the download for this one cause I’m impatient. It’s pretty fun =D
    Yay for plot development! Not so yay for affairs! But totally yay for affair babies!

  6. klaxonly says:

    I am never leaving your legacy open on my tabs ever again. My Dad came in to do that horrible thing parents do where they just leer over your shoulder. So I switched tabs from boolprop and ended up with Deborah yelling at Edith for being a slut and her foetus being a son of a bitch and whatnot. Dx

    • missmiserie says:

      Oh god, I hope I didn’t get you in too much trouble D8

      That sucks!

      • klaxonly says:

        LOL, all good. He was just like “O_O” and I flicked out before he could read too much.

        I’m such a risk-taker with SP, I drink my morning coffee when I check it, brutha.

      • missmiserie says:

        Don’t feel bad. If my dad knew I was writing half of what I was writing in the manner it is written, he’d make me take it off the internet -_-

  7. Madcapp says:

    I like discs as well even though they clutter my place up. And I was keeping such good track of them… before we moved across the country. 😦 But at least if I can get them to send me my game cases with the codes inside I can get digital copies. I was thinking I’d have to save up and buy the disc of the game I lost over again which meant no Generation or Pets prolly for me. I’m scared to get Generations anyway as glitchy as my game is. I can’t update with the launcher, had to manually install the patch and then another one for the base game since just patching up to what my expansion should have been caused it to stop loading.
    /sigh *hates EA*

    Anyway, Dale fainting was hilarious. Loved that.

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