Soooo, Generations comes out today, I’m excited! I, however, still don’t have my copy, because I don’t want to go pick it up (YES, I bought the disk, I KNOW and am FULLY AWARE that I’m still in the Stone ages and could have gotten it offline. But I don’t like buying things on the computer. I didn’t even buy points online, I got the card, and STILL had a horrible fit about putting the code in on the website.)
So here’s a chapter that I’ve been forced to play four times (I LOVE MY COMPUTER) and then by the time you hear from me again, I should have my own copy of Generations! YAY!
It’s not because there are 9 people in this house, or the fact that Deborah looks awkward and naked down there, it’s the fact that Dallas, the toddler from the last chapter, is being carried. He grew up, he’s a child now. Tell me why he still needs someone carrying him around like he’s 2 again?! And of all people, he’s got his 80 year old grandmother hauling his heavy ass around. At least get your dad to to carry your needy ass, jeez!
“Luk mawma! I grew up to luk ‘XACTLY like yew in every way! I’m your purfect clone!”
Yep, Dallas is a clone. Not a damn trace of Jay in him anywhere.
What a waste of perfectly good genes.
Some good, lazy, stupid, genes.
So to free up some more room for an heir/spare that doesn’t repeat an entire generation, I moved Dixie, Jay, and Dallas to the house down the street. So much for that double heirship, but I feel I can get better genes out of Deb and Dale if I try again anyway. A little dissappointed, but Dallas sucked.
“At least we ain’t movin’ in a hawse wid’ dem damn ghosts anymore.”
And don’t worry about Darrell getting upset about losing his baby girl. He’s a little preoccupied with his new… toy.
BEHOLD. A 1969 Dodge Charger! The same damn car from the Dukes of Hazzard. When I saw this beauty on modthesims, I KNEW this car HAD to be in my game. What redneck wouldn’t want their own little General Lee?!
Actually, without the 01 on the side and the confederate flag on the roof of the car, it’s just not the same Lee feeling… like how Mountain Lightning is to Mountain Dew… not the same.
So I named the car the Stonewall Jackson. I don’t think Darrell cares.
So glad you like it Darrell.
“I wanna go find a ramp ‘n jump this thing offa’ it RIGHT NOW!”
Who am I kidding, this is Dale we are talking about. He was probably wet dreaming about her AND Deborah at the same time ._.
“Dammit Nascar. I gotta stop comin’ in heer ‘n findin’ yew makin’ out widda’ fridge. We eat outta’ these appliances yew know.”
“I don’t MAKE OUT widda’ fridge, Deb’ruh. Yall know as well as I do that I’m loyal to mah microwave gurlfriend.”
“That’s nawt wut the dishwasher says, Nascar. But since we are on the topic of cheatin’, mama, I got somethin’ I need to talk to yew ’bout…”
“Hey hon. How wus ur playdate wid’ ur papa yesterday?”
“Uh, ’bout that mama. Papa didn’t take me to the park like yew told him to. We didn’t even git to go to McDonalds. Mama, I met one’uh papa’s friends yesterday, ‘n it wus this lady…”
…Mama? Yew ok?”
“WHOA! Mama, calm down! Please don’t git angry, I’ll jus’ luk it up inna’ dictionary later!”
“Well, they kissed a lot ‘n then disappeared fur a few minutes… ‘n do yew remembur that time I walked in on yew ‘n papa ‘wrestlin’ in ur bedroom, ‘n yew sed it was a special ‘mommy-daddy wrestle’? Well, they were doin’ the ‘mommy-daddy wrestle’ too, only wid’ more pig noises.”
“Don’t worry mama, I was too, all ovur the lady’s livin’ room carpet. She didn’t like that either.”
“Nowhere hon… just gonna… wait fur ur papa to come home…”
“Mama, wait! I see yew leavin’ wid’ that angry thought bubble, don’t do wut I think ur gonna do!”
“DALE. I’VE. BEEN. WAITIN’. ON. YEW.”
“I’m SURIOUS, Dale. Git ur ass over heer NOW.”
“Uh, workin’ out at the gym, yew know that!”
“So wut’s this I hear frum Pat that yall DIDN’T go to the park, yall went to SEE SOME LADY OF URS?!”
“Oh don’t give me that CRAP, Dale! That kinna’ thing ISN’T somethin’ a 7 year ole’ boy LIES ’bout! Now yew start tellin’ me wut the fuck yall did yesterday, or I swear, I’ll snap ur neck right heer and now…”
“Pat hon, I think yew need to go to bed right now, ‘n let me talk to papa, ook?”
“Are yall arguin’ bout that Edith lady, mama? ‘Cuz I’m scared now ;(”
“DAMMIT, OK, FINE, IT’S TRUE. I… went to see Edith yesterday.”
Poor Deborah looks so sad here MY HEART IS BROKEN
“I wus nawt papa.”
“See, he’s still delusional, who yew gonna believe, me ‘r the lil’ kid?!”
“I SAW yew wrestlin’ wid the lady, papa!”
“He might have a brain problem, Deb baby! I told yew ya should have gotten him tested!”
“My papa is an asshole.”
“Ok, ok, YES, I did sleep wid’ her! I’m sorry baby! But I swear I was thinkin’ of yew the whole time!”
“YEW… YEW JUS’… I JUS’…ERG…”
“Oh, ur in fur it now papa…”
My heart, she is no longer broken *hides*
“Deb?! Honey?! Yew don’t mean that! I know yew don’t! Yew still love me after all this, I know yew do! Right?! RIGHT?!”
“Debbie baby, now listen to wut ur sayin-”
“Oh papa, ur in trouble n-wait, does this mean I’m a divorce child?!”
“Well YEW SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFUR YEW DECIDED THAT YEW WERE A PLAYA. OUT!”
“After yew didn’t take me to McDonalds, no, we ain’t buddies, papa.”
Before Deborah handed out a can of woopass on Dale, she went to throw up all her shame and anger, which I didn’t take a photo of because I was having too much fun watching Dale cry like a little bitch.
That night, Deborah took over Dixie and Jay’s old bedroom, which I finally got around to furnishing. Comes complete with everything from Deborah’s sketch table to a chainsaw, in case Dale ever tried anything sneaky around while Deborah was in her bed.
“OH, I remembur wen Deb’ruh used to complain ’bout this toilet splashin’ back on her! OH WAH, MY DEB’RUH, WHY?!”
Because you are a slut, that’s why.
“I jus’ want my ole’ Deb baby back! I’m NOTHIN’ wid’out her!”
“Nawt really, I can live wid’out him. I just need to keep up ‘pperances so our son doesn’t grow up a psychopath.”
Well that’s one reason.
“Sigh. Not really Zelda.”
“You sure? How about you talk to my friend here, Mr. Bumpybutt! Say hi, Mr. Bumpybutt!”
“No, I don’t think I want to talk to… Mr. Bumpybutt either.”
“I’m surious, Zelda. I’m gonna pass on talkin’ to ur hand.”
“Would you like to meet Mr. Bumpybutt’s wife then, Mrs. Snoopypoopy?! Why, Mr. Bumpybutt, it’s your wife! ‘Bitchsh, I told you shtay in the kitchen!’ ‘I so sowwie Bumpybutt dear don’t smack me!’ ‘BITCHSH! SMACK!’ ‘AAH!'”
“Why am I friends wid’ yew, Zelda?!”
“So if you broke up with him, why do you still live with his parents? Just take your son and move out, you can come live with me!”
Iliana from the bushes: *heavycoughing*fuck no*coughcough*
“I can’t… it… jus’ doesn’t work like that…”
“But just because your Pipaw Sinbad and Grandpa Jared are buried there doesn’t mean you are tied to that lot forever! I mean, you can go on, and find a man you deserve, and get away from that… ‘hillbilly’ life.”
“I really can’t Zelda. You don’t understand… I can’t just leave… I’m…”
“…OOOH. Well… damn.”
Jeez, you should have picked some better pet names… Anyway, stop crying everytime you go take a wizz, Dale. It’s really embarrassing.
“Oh gawd, I’m tired of this shit…”
“I’m surious, Dixie.”
And that’s how Deborah got to sleep on Dixie’s couch for a little while. I’m sure that’s not good for the baby, but with Dalla’s sleeping in his own bed and Jay and Dixie taking up the others… I mean, how DARE they sleep in their own beds, amirite?!
“But why’d yew request to meet me in front of the police stat’shun, Dale?”
“Because wut ever I did this time, if yew decide that yew really ARE gonna kill me, Deb’ruh, yew won’t in front of the cops, now will ya?!”
“Yeah, I’m still there fur Pat ‘n all, even though he doesn’t want anything to do wid’ me now, ‘n keeps walkin’ outta the room wen I walk in, or that time he ran me ovur wid the motorcycle cuz Nascar gave him the keys, or the time he set my junk on fire-”
“DALE I’m pregnant.”
“…Uuuugh, that’s not wut I wanted to hear…”
“Yeah… I know…”
“OH EM GEE, HI DALE! Didn’t think I’d run into yew here! I’m glad I ran into you! I gawt sum great news fur yew Dale!”
“Dale… WHO IS THIS?”
“Oh Dale! Who’s this, ur sister? I thought Dixie was blonde!”
“Yeah, ‘n the baby? I have NO idea who the father could be, nawt at all! Could be any of these townies! Could be a WOMAN fur all I know! I was jus’ helpin’ her find the bistro, that’s all, Edith dear! That’s all!”
…Just digging the hole deeper, aren’t you, Dale.
“Oh nice… this is all so… nice… so nice…”
Deborah? What are you thinking about? You got that hundred yard stare going on again…
“D-d-deb’ruh we can talk ’bout this later, nawt heer, remembur, the cops are watchin’…”
“I’m smilin’ because I still have no idea wut we’re talkin’ about :D”
“What?! Wuddid’ I do?!”
“OH NO YEW DIN’T”
“SHUT UP DALE”
“Don’t yew be dissin’ Edith, Deb’ruh, leave her OUTTA this!!”
“Why are yew so mean, lady?! Leave my baby outta this!”
“Oh, don’t even THINK yew have a chance, skank…”
Dale: *pretends to sleep*
So that’s it for this chapter. Dale just makes it worse and worse. How bad will it get? Will Pat grow up to be a psychopath after all? Will Generations even work in my game?!
Now, before I go, I would like to share something I found a little… strange…
Not long after Deborah got knocked up, she wished to read a pregnancy book. Heading to the bookstore, I saw something on the sidewalk that I found… interesting.
Um. Skehrer? That’s not Audio.
“That’s ok, the flirty trait you gave to everyone to help with the breeding is making me fall for Poi Boi so much”
And to make it weirder, the makeover I gave Skehrer REALLY matches Poi Boi’s outfit. That was unintentional, and scary.
I’m going to do something else now.
IF these sims are together, what do you think their legacies would be like merged together?
Would it be something like the Pollination-Food Legacy? The Foodination?
Where all the sims are named Tang, and Freeze Dried Ice Cream and Space Meat? YES, I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS STUFF