Did anyone not survive the rapture? No, everyone is still here then? Oh goody then, we will all be sinners together and stay on earth!
“No, everything you see here is a solid $14 up front.”
“Well fuck then… just give me a vanilla cupcake n’ a pie to let rot in my invuh’tory.”
I thought it would be a neat idea to open the new chapter with Dale being ripped off by a little girl for a couple reasons.
First off, this little girl is the two day old child of Skehrer! Congrats Skehrer, you finally bred in my game. Sadly, the aging glitch is still prominent in my game as well, and you gave birth to an 8 year old.
“My mommy is still in the hospital!”
And now, I’ll give you a guess on who her father is…
Nice catch Skehrer, you managed to bag a Creeper! Not bad for EA’s SP.
In case you couldn’t tell, I have gone back to this SP, again. Twallan’s SP worked in Sunset for about two days in-game before it stopped working altogether. I can’t win for trying.
So far in town, besides these two having a baby, Gargantua and her husband moved away, TWICE (thanks guys) but their son Robby moved in with his girlfriend Holly and her parents, much to their distaste of him (Nick hates his ass). My simself moved from my roommate’s house to the Goth’s (I think she has a thing for Cornelia ._.) The Bachelor’s move houses about once a week, Tori Kimura married someone, Gus Hart died in a fire, and Xander Clavell was killed
in a drive by shooting by lightning, leaving Dale to be the only white trash sim still bumming off his parents.
Speaking of Dale, his son still sucks.
“But yew jus’ hadda’ nap, boy! Why’re yew still so fussy?!”
“I didn’t nap, I screamed ‘n complained ’bout nawt gettin’ attention! Why can’t I ever be happy?!”
BECAUSE YOU ARE A TERRIBLE CHILD WITH BROKEN NEED BARS, SO SHUT UP
Deborah, did you really have to bring a plate of waffles with you to the Bunches?
“Wut? I brought a lil lunch wid’ me fur later, I don’t see wut the big deal is.”
“Well maybe it’s nawt terrible becuz’ I stuffed two toilets behind a wall, maybe the hawse is already over cluttured ‘cus yew n’ ur wife won’t stop fuckin’ n’ addin’ all these brats ‘n ur hawse! Yew ever think ’bout that, yew whore?!”
“Oh cheese and nachos, did those words really come out of her mouth?! Golly gee, I’ll never hire this woman again!”
I wouldn’t hire her either.
“Oh ma GAWD, luk Biawnca, it’s Dale! DALE! I thought he was killed in a drive by shootin’!”
No, that was Xander.
“Naw man, we moved ’bout the same time yall did, I just decided that I was gonna go to France ‘n try to become an art student there! Turns out that we don’t even have WA yet, so I came back to Sunset just recently!”
“Sure, that sounds great!”
“Yew bet I will!”
“FUCK! DAMMIT DALE NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN!”
“Mmm, sure smells like it to me.”
“ATTENTION NOW PLEASE”
“I’m gonna fuckin’ KILL my brothur fur swappin’ my baby like this!”
“I looooove ur babieeeeeeee”
“DADDY GIT ME AWAY FRUM THIS GHOST SHE’S MAKIN’ ME STARVE”
Sigh, let go of the infant, Amber.
“Well that’s wut happens wen I don’t get the attention I deserve.”
Oh, kiss my ass, Patriot.
Why do they keep hiring you?!
“I WANT TO BE AN ARTIST WHEN I GROW UP BECAUSE ART IS MY SOUL”
“Ok then, but I wurned’ yew…”
A complete hick makeover for Mortimer Goth.
Well, it is a teen’s room makeover WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
And I really do hope he likes the art. He did nothing but scream about it in the road while Deborah was working.
Deborah’s next client was Cerise, stolen from the Chimerees, somewhat of Deborah’s estranged great aunt I guess.
“So yew want one of them book nook thangs? Wut’re those like uh’gin?”
“You know, like an in-home library. I’m really excited to see what you’ll do for me.”
Kinda looks like my dad’s get-away shed.
“It’s a ‘book nook’. Why isn’t there any light in here?!”
Because that wasn’t on the to do list and I DON’T CARE OMG
“Well how wus I supposed tuh know?! I ain’t ever hadda learn no readin’ ‘n I gotta’long jus’ fine!”
“And I let you in my backyard, why?!”
“No Jared, I’m your great grandson, Patriot. Wutever, play tag wid me so I can furget how ignored I am by all these people.”
“Wut’re yew talkin’ about, I’m bunches of fun!”
“But, yew float so slowly, can’t yew go any faster?!”
“And this is why I hate yew, Grampaw Jared.”
Thing is, Jamie doesn’t even have any children.
Maybe she’s still going through some sort of PTSD with Donny or something.
“Nooo, you don’t know, maybe one day I’ll find love and finally have a teen child to spoil!”
“Eh, no, yew live wid’ two hookers, no man’s gonna take yew surious anymore.”
Well screw you, Jamie, I was being lazy and was late for work so screw your shit opinion about Deborah’s makeover!
“It’s ok son, I gave up tryin’ to please that slut two renovations ago. She can’t live in this “sqawlor” ‘r wutever she n’ Vita keep callin’ it, then she can make over it herself!”
“Oh mama. Yew want me to take care of her fur yew?!”
That’s one way to get back at Jamie. And do take those things away from her, it’s not like she needs them <_<
“But… I actually had plans to do today, babe! I was gonna go to town ‘n spend time wid’ my boys!”
“Yew know as well as I do that yew ain’t got no friends in this town! Now take ur son onna’ papa-son trip today and I swear to god Dale, if he follows me to work after he gets outta school, I’m gonna beat ur ass to death!”
“Papa! I thought ’bout wut we should to today! First, we should go to the park, n’ then we should go n’ git somethin’ to eat n’ swap manly stories ’bout the time we were supposed to go fishin’ together but yew were too stoned to remember so I went wid’ Nascar”
“Um, do I really have’ta take yew somewhe-”
“GO DALE. I’M SERIOUS.”
“Man, I jus’ wanted to spend time wid’ my homey, and I am, dammit, can’t a man do wut he wants fur once?!”
“I thought I was more than ur… homey… Dale. An’ why is this kid here?”
“Yeah it does, boy, there’s even that clown yew’ve said lives in the rest’rant.”
“She don’t luk like no Ronald McDonald to me…”
“Shut up boy, n’ let daddy, uh, spend some time wid’ this nice lady, mmk?!”
“Do yew nawt feel offended ’bout my daddy jus’ comin’ on in heer ‘n kissin’ all ovur that lady like that?!”
“Oh you poor child. I’ve been offended the day my sister said she was even dating that loser…”
“…I don’t know what ur talkin’ about, Bianca!”
“You know FULL well what I’m talkin’ about, Edith! Sleeping with ur SECOND COUSIN. While his own son is in the HOUSE. I thought Papa Lonnie raised you better than that!”
…Lonnie raised you?
“I’m not going to sleep with him, GOSH. I’m just gonna go talk some since into him ’bout why he shouldn’t be neglectin’ his boy like this ‘n all that jazz…”
“Yeah, but I AM a lil concerned about that boy of urs. Yew… promise he ain’t gonna come in heer or anything?”
“Wut, him?! Naw, I told him that he better nawt move from that couch in there or I’ll tan his hide gud. He ain’t goin’ nowhere, baby!”
“Papa, these people don’t have a tv or nothing, and HOLY SHIT YALL NAKED”
“This isn’t wut it looks like boy, me n’ ur daddy were just finishin’ up, weren’t we, Dale?!”
“Oh gaw, I’m so sorry dad, I didn’t know wut yall were doing in here D:”
“My childhood, it is gone.”
“Nothin’s more relaxin’ like a nice warm shower aftur a long day’s work…”
“Well, might explain why I just took a five hour shower…”
“NOTHIN’S GOIN’ ON IN HEER, JUST DOIN’ THE DISHES FUR MY LOVIN’ GURLFRIEND SO SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO WORRY ‘BOUT ‘IM, MY DAY WID THE BOY WAS JUST FINE”
Yeah yeah, you keep sucking up in there, Dale. We’ll see where it gets you.
“The one photo I get this damn chapter, and it’s durin’ a damn kid’s birthday party.”
At least you get one, I don’t think I’ve seen Virginia all chapter.
“Tell me ’bout it, the things I saw in my diaper last night were horrendous!”
“Shut the hell up, Dallas, you have NOTHIN’ to talk ’bout compared to me.”
So, what does Dallas look like all grown up? Will Deborah actually get good at her job? Will she ever find out about Edith coming to town? Or does she already KNOW?!
Find out next time. Eventually. Maybe, I don’t know, my new internet connection sucks DONKEYBALLS