Red Heels

“Oh, I’m standin’ in stink again…”

I know Dale, and I’m sorry you are so miserable, but how do you think I feel?

Since last chapter, the toddlers have driven me insane.  Over and over again too, I’m really starting to regret every trying for a baby with Virginia and Darrell again.

“Waaah, they threw me outside”

“Nooooo!  Now Boom-Boom hear baby cry, Boom-Boom can’t be frozen in piece!”

Yeah, um, I’m really sick of these babies.  I have gon ethough their toddler days NINE TIMES. NINE.  NO ONE should have to go through three toddlers NINE FUCKING TIMES

FUCK THIS I’M CHEATING

And of course they’re chubby because of all the bottles they had shoved down their throats to keep them happy >:I

So here are Danica and Tammy Jo, or Dammy as I like to call them Damn Brats is too long and I’ve photoshopped them together just to point out how alike they look.  Only I know who’s the real Danica and Tammy BWAHAHA

But of you can tell, well, you are just paying attention too closely, and that creeps me out.  Weirdo.

Danica was excitable and friendly from her baby years, but I couldn’t stand teaching them skills nine times in a row, so she grew up absent-minded.  T.J. was brave and friendly, but grew up with unlucky.

And here’s Richard Petty, because I can’t fit all three in a photo, but he looks like his sisters too so whatever.  He was excitable and eccentric, but he grew up a loser, WHICH IS PERFECT FOR HIM

Jeez, they are so creepy together.

But I like twins (R.P. doesn’t count, he’s a loser, remember?) that dress the same because they are so spiffy like that AMIRITE

“I can’t believe yew ain’t my kid.  An’ I can’t believe I’m stuck raisin’ ur lil’ ass.  Brat.”

“I can’t help it, I swear ;_;”

Please keep your little family drama out of the Secksie front yard, Lonnie.

“Check it out, I’m Jesus”

Yeah, a lot of roads out near the edges of Twinbrook, like near the Bayless house, are starting to flood.

COULD THIS SIGNIFY THE END

“Hey Darr’ll!  Check this out right quick!”

“Wut is it, babe?”

“I’m Lady Gaga!”

“…Git outta the bathroom, Vurginyuh.”

“Oooh, I’m so sleepy, but I can’t go to bed fur ‘nother hour ‘cuz that’s how long it’ll take me to change clothes…”

Are you KIDDING me?!

“Hey luk, I ain’t payin no bills if they ain’t got no purpose out heer!  ‘Specially no bills made out to Tree.”

Look, don’t throw no attitude with me, Virginia, and just pay the damn things and get them out of our way.

“Hmm…”

“I do believe I’m stuck out heer…”

UGH *resets*

“WAAAH!  I don’t wanna eat that, it tastes like dead flies and mold!”

Whiney crybaby.

“So anyway, I jus’ finished bein’ a big time fishergurl, n’ decided that I needed a career change.  Yall got any openins’ fur me to try out fur?  I just spent the last couple years dressin’ toddlers, I think that’s gud ’nuff qualuh’fuhcation, don’t you think?”

“Hmm… the last guy that paid fur me in a bouquet of roses was real nice…”

“Did yew even hear a word I said?”

“Huh, wut?  Oh… yeah, ur hired I guess…”

“Nice of yew to be my first client, Frances!”

“Anything fur yew, cuz’.  I just need something’ to distract people from this lazy eye, ya’ know?”

“I know, and I have just the thing fur that… red heels!”

“…Really?”

“Wow, yew dressed me up to luk like yew!  That’s purdy neat!”

“Yeah, I do believe my lil’ trick was awesome!”

“Wut? Oh wow, yew really did give me some red heels…”

“Really guys?  Yall gonna jump outta the back of a movin’ bus like that?!  That’s nawt safe at all!”

“Now, yew ain’t gonna put me in no red heels like yew did mah sistur, are ya?”

“Wut, nooo, I have an entirely different outfit fur yew, Nicolas…”

“… I thought you said it was different!”

“It is!  I added a hat!”

“Damn, now I’m wearin’ red heels too?!”

“Tee hee!  This is my BOYFWEND!”

“Oh someone please get this little freak away from me…”

Oh shush, Robbie.  Just be happy it isn’t both of them.

“Pedo face on.”

“Yeah, I suddenly don’t feel like it was a good idea to put on my bathing suit out here by myself…”

“OH MY GAWD!  RED HEELS?!  This looks TERRIBLE with the outfit!”

“Hey.  Don’t diss my outfit choice!”

Going to dress the whole town up in this pattern, Virginia?

Ah, peace and quiet.  The only time I like the triplets, is when all of them are asleep.

And I just now noticed that the boys swapped beds on me without me noticing.  Morons.

“What’s the mattur wid’ya Dammy?!  I’m tryina’ wake up heer ‘n ur in my way!”

Behold, I can’t layout a single room without fucking hassles like this.  Sigh.

“Welp, got school in ten minutes, better take an hour to get dress, I guess.”

I REALLY am starting to hate this with a passion.

“Oh wow, finally another new teen my age!  I’m so glad I stalked yew/I invited myself over, hello!”

“Oh, hi there!  My name’s Jay, I’m Paulina and Hanks only son.  I died three times as a child!”

“… Interesting…”

“So… there’s nawt a lotta guys in town, ‘n yew know… *mumble mumble*”

“Wut yew say?  I couldn’t hear yew because ur hat’s coverin’ ur face.”

Not like you are even looking at her face anyway.

“Yeah, true…”

“I said, if yew’d be interested on goin’ on a date with me sometime…”

“That sounds nice I guess.”

*Smack*

“Wut?”

Wow, totally unprepared for that one, weren’t you, Jay?

“Y-yew… moved wen I leaned in to kiss yew!  I cawght ur cheek!  D-did yew nawt wanna kiss me ‘r somethin?”

“No, it’s nawt that, I just wasn’t expectin’ yew to move in as quickly as yew did!  Besides, I haven’t even seen ur face yet, yew really think I’m gonna let yew just kiss me like that?”

“Yew jus’ don’t want anything to do wid me, that’s all…”

“Aww, don’t be sad, maybe next time or something, wen I ain’t afraid that the bill of ur hat’ll sever my head’r somethin…”

“Yay.  Birthday.”

“I feel your thrill, Virginia.

“Lemme put on my party hat.”

… Interesting…

“Ah, nothin’ like a nice hot muffin fur breakfast…”

*accidental snorting*

“…OUCH!”

After the second degree burns were treated, Dale went on to have his birthday.

“I skipped school to crash a party here?!  What a crappy house!”

“M-mama?!  Wut the crap happened to ur hair?!”

Don’t ask, just spin, Dale.

“Yay, my big brother’s growin’ up and I GET TO EAT CAKE YAY”

GO TO SCHOOL DAMMY, THE BUS LEFT HALF AN HOUR AGO, DAMN!

Oh great, he looks like he’s going to be a clone of Darrell.

“Hey, at least I grew up lucky, right?”

I knew it was only a matter of time before I incorporated a white trash theme onto a sim.  Might as well have been Dale.

“Wut it is, mu-fuckas”

“OHMYGAWD, yew so fuckin’ FINE man”

“Annnnd, I’m really uncomfurtabul’ now…”

“Oh… hell… I see my mama gawt ahold of yall too…”

“Yeah, me and dad went in for haircuts, and this chick strips us and stuffs us in gaudy green outfits and charged us $65 for them!  We are NEVER going back there again!”

“And yet, yall’re still wearing the outfits…”

*Next door*

“Well hello there lil’ Dixie gurl, ur mama told me all ’bout yew while she was holding me down naked while having a hooker stuff this flowery vest on me”

“Oh jeez, heer too?!”

“Damn, I smell like a man, all the bitches wanna piece of me now”

“OH GAWD MY HIP”

“That’s ur own damn fault, woman, yew should have worked out more and kept yourself in better shape, then you wouldn’t be dyin’ like this on a treadmill…”

“Someone… call an… ambulance…”

“Hmmm… yes… I sense… I SENSE… me… gettin’ down ur bra…”

“… And with that, I’m goin’ home.”

“Officer?  Wut’re yew doin’ heer?”

“Out collectin’ deliquints like yew and… hey, you’re kinda cute!  Not all that often I get a cute lil’ gurl on my shift like this…”

“Yeah, ur’ just creeping me out…”

“Wut is WRONG wid yew, Dixie?!  Ur supposed to be the good one!  Why would yew go n’ break curfew like this?!”

“Hey, at least I didn’t get arrested!”

“No, it could have been worse!  Yew could have been kidnapped, or worse, ended up dead!”

“Jeez daddy, git off my back!”

“NO!  That’s IT, Dixie!  No more goin’ over to friend’s houses aftur school!  Ur grounded missy, so from now on I want yew straight ovur heer after school!  Yew got that, young lady?!”

“NO!  THAT’S NAWT FAIR!  Yew can’t do this to me, I’m almost 18!  I can do wutever the hell I want now!”

“DIXIE ADAIR SECK-”

“YEW CAN’T DO THIS TO ME, YEW AIN’T EVEN MY REAL DADDY!”

“D-Dixie!  How can yew say somethin’ like tha-”

“Well, yew ain’t!  So stop pretendin’ like yew are!”

“…Come on Dix!  That really hurts mah feelin’s , yew know!”

“SCREW ur feelin’s, I DON’T have to put up with this!  You ain’t my real daddy, so stop pretendin’ like yew are, Darr’ll.”

“There.  I said it.  And I ain’t sorry.”

“…Dixie…”

“No.  I’m going to bed.”

Aw, poor Darrell.  I guess all that stress finally came out of Dixie.

So let’s end this chapter on a happy birthday.  Maybe.

“Why don’t we have any birthday guests?”

Because I didn’t care, now hurry up and blow out the candles so I can save before a-

*CRASH*

OH FUCK THIS SHIT

THERE, YOU ALL GREW UP, NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.

About missmiserie

I make sims legacies and update them once every other blood moon :)
This entry was posted in Generation 5. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Red Heels

  1. Aw, tree bills are the worst ;A;
    The twins are creepy ಠ_ಠ Honestly I’m glad they’re teens now. As children, they looked like they ate the little girls from the shining… cause you know they’re fat ಠ_ಠ Don’t judge me, not everyone can be a comic genius like you =P
    Ah another good chapter!

  2. skehrer says:

    OMG, your game is so chaotic! I love the way you bring it to your story though, you make it very entertaining! I think you should get a reward for living through toddler NINE TIMES!!! Thank God they are teens now, let the hormones rage!!!!

  3. Gargantua says:

    Whoah. The triplets all inherited their father’s “Big Bones”. And they do look like clones!

    Poor Dixie. Darrell has been taking care of her since she was born. He doesn’t deserve such abuse, but teenage hormones can often turn tongues sharp. Has she even met her real father? I can’t remember…

  4. It’s kind of disappointing how exactly alike the triplets are- doesn’t even make them worth it >:O Yikes though, playing through triplet toddlers 9 times? I would have cried. …and then also said “fuck this” and grew them up. Hey, I don’t technically see it as cheating…you DID play through those years…not your fault your game crashed…NINE TIMES. =P

    And ughhhh my sims do the “I’m gonna take an hour to get dressed!” crap too, although it’s usually just when I first start up the game. Once the outfit has “loaded” it’s fine. I find that pausing the game for a moment helps, because it lets the game load the outfit without actually using sim time. Then I just start it up again and they immediately change. Maybe that’ll help? *hopeful!*

    Twallan also has a mod called “The Saver” which will automatically save your game after a certain amount of time that you set, which might help as well? I haven’t used it myself (…because I’m afraid of it saving after something horrible happens…lol), but I know people who do and love it. Then again, if it acts like SP…the crashing will get worse D=

    If none of those suggestions work well…the glitches do certainly make your chapters interesting! lol…. *feels bad for laughing at your pain* Still, this is, without doubt, one of my favorite legacies XD

    • OH MAH GAWD, my comment is HUGE…sorry about that, lol. Hadn’t realized I wrote a novel *face palm*

    • missmiserie says:

      I have been dissappointed since they were toddlers =_=

      I do that too, I also figured that if I have the camera jacked up in their face as close to the sim as possible without them dissappearing, it also goes a little quicker.

      That’s the thing though! My game can’t save more than three saves a play I think because if I save too much, then Error Code 13 starts showing up. If I have the saver on my game that saves for me ever so often, who’s to say that it still won’t show up an error by the third or so save?

      • uggles says:

        Wow the triplets are creepily similar! You should totally keep that dorky bowl cut on T.J.! Lol! He’s like a chubby, white Dwayne Dibbley.

        If it makes you feel any better, the bugs have started acting up in my game too.. at least no crashes, but annoying enough I’ve had to move to a new instance of town. Bleh. Curse you EA! Curse youuuuu! *shakes fist*

      • missmiserie says:

        lol crap, I already took it off |D

        I’m starting to consider moving to a new town. Just take Twallan’s SP out to stop crashes and move to a new town with more sims in it. I just love Twinbrook though D:

      • skehrer says:

        You could move to a new version of Twinbrook. Repopulate it with people of your choice.

      • missmiserie says:

        Yes, and hopefully a new Twinbrook wouldn’t snap on me.

  5. You could move to another Twinbrook =D

  6. uggles says:

    Yea, you could do that, if you wanted to make a copy of the home family/lot and copies of any spares you want to move.. but being 6 gen’s in and starting over in a fresh copy of Twinbrook might be a little weird since you’d have new versions of Sinbad/Amy/Lucy etc running around. I only did it with the Derps ’cause they didn’t get too far along (1 gen) – I figger I’ll just blame Max’s ghetto-ass duct-tape time machine. 🙂

    • missmiserie says:

      I’d just take the old residents out and replace them with new ones like more sims from the internets, or make new ones, or just take the ones from Sunset and place them all in there.

  7. nuclearwaffles says:

    Guhhh… yeah, I hate it when trees send me bills. When that happens, though, I just wait for the lawnmowing guys to come and knock over my fuckin’ trees, and then… O.o Yeah. They seriously do that. They knock my trees over. They did that, and for like, months, I only had this one little stupid tree, and then suddenly, one day, I had six trees in this cluster and now they keep trying to eat my sidewalk, and I swear, between those and the purple sword-grass… it’s like… almost as scary as socks… O.o sorry. Tangent.

    The twins are creepy… I can’t tell which one’s Danica or Tammy… O.o And Richard Petty is a mushroom head… But I love Dixie. She is officially the shit, because I said so… and poor Jay, dying three times as a child. That’s what happens when Pauline and Hank are your parents, though. Like, one time, I made my sim make Pauline break up with Hank for him, and they got married, and my sim and Pauline had a baby, and Pauline killed the fucker in a cake fire. And then Pauline dropped my sim like he was hot (which he WAS, but that’s not the point) and ran back to Hank and killed more babies. Okay, only one more baby, but that was still two babies she killed.

    I love the many clones of Virginia, and their red heels. But I’m guessing the rest of the redneck population considers them all hookers now. 😀

    • missmiserie says:

      I’m starting to not like the trees at all, the money is almost not worth it :\

      Pauline was pretty tame in my game, she never comes out of the house, she never talks to anyone, I don’t think I’ve seen her but four times.

      Classy, Virginia hookers 😀

  8. Tree says:

    Is it sad that once I saw Dale in his teen-white-trash makeover, I immediately thought of J-Roc from Trailer Park Boys?

    y’knowwhat’m’sayin?

  9. inujade says:

    Virginia’s idea of fashion is the best idea. I, for one, hope she manages to style the entire town.

    Red heels look good on everyone anyway.

    If I was Darrell I would have slapped Dixie right there. Or better yet, I would have said, “Well you can disown me if you want to, but as far as your REAL father’s concerned you’re a useless piece of sexcrement. Your call.”

    The triplets are GLORIOUS! I revel in their uniformity and chubby cheeks! Triple heirs anyone? (I kid, I kid).

    I wish my game was as nuts as yours, it makes for awesome reading.

    • missmiserie says:

      I am trying so hard to stuff everyone into red heels and green flowers. At three sims a day on average that visit the salon, it could take a while <_<

      Yeah, but Darrell is a softie 😦 he couldn't do that to the kids.

      Triple heirs? You ARE trying to kill me aren't you?! :O But, if either part of Dammy get the heirship, I was thinking about letting them both do it. But only if they get it. I could care less.

  10. Madcapp says:

    Aww poor Darrel. 😦 Stupid teenagers are such assholes!

    • Madcapp says:

      I always forget something I wanted to add.

      “Hey Darr’ll! Check this out right quick!”

      “Wut is it, babe?”

      “I’m Lady Gaga!”

      I was about to take a drink of pop when I read this… and luckily I had not done so yet so I only spit out the lip of the can instead of any liquid all over my screen. LMAO

  11. Laurelstream says:

    Sad thing is I immediately noticed four differences. Their hair is different shades of blond (one has darker highlights), blue earrings on one red on the other, different shaped eyebrows, and the one on the left has a slightly father down/skinnier nostril strip. I pay to much attention to the world.

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