Another day, another chapter.
And today, shit happens that I couldn’t forsee.
Well, I did, but it only took me five minutes to neglect my sims and all hell broke loose.
Leroy, was finally getting around to actually doing his job, and started using the inventor’s workshop. And he was really good at it. Then again, he was a level 8 inventor when he started, and soon he was popping out all kinds of items. He was finally able to support his family, one item at a time.
All was looking good for the Secksie family.
They had two children. Luanne, who was showing a lot of promise with high goals and expectations, and her brother Buck, who nobody cares about really.
He just sits there and plays with that bear. All. Day. Long.
Amy works at the local salon, and she’s really bad at it. Her idea of fashion includes heavy makeup and bright color choices in clothes, and slowly, the salon business was going downhill for her and the salon itself.
“Hey Amy, sup’ girl. Have you seen my lady, Lucy, ’round anywhere?”
“Suriously? You are dating that devil lady? Then again, who didn’t see that coming. Um, I haven’t seen her today, then ‘gain, I haven’t seen anyone all day! Like, what the hell? Where is everyone?”
It was a slow day, and Luanne was at school, and I was just drifting through town pretty much, looking at people, and managed to glance back at the house right quick to check on Buck playing with his bear.
“Whoa, I done gone made ‘nother neutrawn star! Sumbawdy’, anybawdy, get me the hose!”
“Aw man, that was close. Thought that that star was gonna destroy the house or worse, me.”
“My wut?! Are you playin’ a joke on me because I don’t feel a thang-”
“HOLY HELL NAW! It BURNS! OH LAWD, IT BURNS!”
Don’t worry Leroy! I will save you!!
*Taps franically on the fire*
Ok, I can’t do anything! Stop drop and roll! Amy is on her way right now!
“I’m sorry, I had to get out of the taxi right quick because my pants are dirty. I couldn’t just brush my pants off in the car! Liek, that’s so rude.”
This is NOT the time to be absent minded, Amy! Get BACK in the car now! HURRY!
“Naw, I’m pretty close to the house right now, I think I can run the rest of the way!”
Oh, Leroy, you are so screwed! Don’t worry though, I had you call the fire department! They are on their way!
Then do something smart! Stop drop and roll! Jump in the pond! Why can’t you do that?! It’s TWINBROOK for fuck’s sake! Jump in the BROOK!
“Stop being such a newb and put out tha’ FIRE! It burns! It’s gotten through my housecoat and it’s scorching mah ass! Please, SAVE ME!”
I want to, but I have done all I can! Oh, why does this have to happen, just look at him! He’s so pitiful! Don’t take Leroy away from me just yet!
“Hurry Amy! The fire! It’s up in mah colon now!”
“I can’t right now Leroy! Can you wait just a bit longer?! I have to pee really bad right quick!”
“PEE ON ME! FOR GAWD’S SAKE WOMAN! I’M DYIN’!”
“Woo, I’m sorry I’m a little late, I decided to stop by a Sonic’s on the way here. So, where’s this fire I’ve been told to come put out? Do you know, little tin man?”
“In the back.”
“Oh LEROY! My dear sweet hubby bear, LEROY! Why did you have to die like that?! Why couldn’t you just install another fire alarm?! We could have sold the other shower head for it! Oh, this is just HELL on my bladder!”
“You know, the fire could have been prevented if the right procedures were used to prevent it in the first place. Remember kids, only you can prevent sim related fires.”
Oh fuck off, you stupid ass firefighter!
Oh *sob* Firefighters are supposed to be noble lifesavers, that come on the drop of a hat, that put out fires and save the day! Just like they show them as in the Ambitions commercial and earlier today when one of the girls in the dorm set the sprinklers off with her showerhead (don’t ask)
But NO. This sum’ bitch took his sweet time. Shitted around, and cost me Leroy! Thanks a LOT assface. What, want to give us a FINE too because there isn’t a fire now?!
“Well no, I’m just here to say that I’m glad you managed to put the fire out and nothing was seriously damaged. Remember to be safe next time.”
“Mom? What’s going on?”
“We put the fire OUT?! Nothing was SERIOUSLY DAMAGED?! My HUSBAND is DEAD and he needed you to be there and save him when I couldn’t! I hate you and the whole damn firefightin’ team! I hope all your calenders burn and your dalmatshun’ runs away!”
“You let my daddy die?! What kind of firefighter are you!? I hate you! I hope you get fired because of this!”
“Well, I uh, got to go meet the other firefighters over by the beach. Havin’ a beach party and all, and I can’t miss it for the world. Remember, install sprinklers. Have a nice day!”
“Ok miss, where is the departed?”
“Behind you, curled up in a ball cryin’ because he’s really upset about dyin’ and all.”
“Oh death! I can’t believe this is happening! And I can’t go right now! I really have to go pee right quick!”
“Don’t worry dear, I totally did it for you.”
“Thanks babe. It was always you that I truely loved.”
“So, ready to cross to the other side, Leroy Secksie?”
“No! Like I got dun’ sayin’, I have to pee!”
“Well, too bad, we have to go now! That cryin’ brat you have in the house is getting on my nerves, and if you don’t want to be the only one coming with me, I recommend you come with me now.”
And so, Leroy dies and left a really crappy grave. Then again, I’m terrible with wishes because I’m still used to the Want system of The Sims 2, and can’t remember to promise them anything. He died with like, 12k of lifetime points. Yeah, I’m shit at this.
R.I.P. Leroy. It was WAY before your time. You died a Duct Tape Rigger. A fitting job, if I do say so myself. You didn’t even get close to getting ten girlfriends, pretty much because my game wasn’t letting you anyway.
I guess now I don’t have to worry about it.
I’m so sorry! Sorry, sorry sorry! I knew that it was risky to use the inventors workshop, but I did it anyway because I figured if he caught fire, you’d be there to put him out.
But apparently I was wrong. So it’s YOUR fault he died.
“STOP BLAMIN’ ME! Oh lawd, now I’m a dirt poor single mother! I’m DOOMED!”
So much for a good onlook for the family.
But with death, comes life, and today is also Luanne’s and Buck’s birthday. Of course they had to suffer trauma before growing up. That’s just how the game works for me.
“I wish daddy would be back to see this.”
Too bad, we don’t have that much access to reviving the dead in 3. Hopefully, you will grow up just fine though.
She got her mother’s nose. And grew out of that underbite. She also acquired the good trait.
To a mirror and the drawer, STAT.
“Yay mommy! My turn, my turn!”
“Just hurry up. I’m to upset to care right now.”
“Hurry up and grow up Buck! Blowin’ this noisemaker is hurting my jaw! And stop your fucking cryin’, you don’t know sufferin’, you didn’t have to watch daddy burn to death in a fire!”
So much for that good trait.
He grew up taking everything from his deceased father *sob* and gained the grumpy trait. I can see it now, he’s the angry redneck of the family.
“Hey woman! Get me a beer! My paw just died, and I’m pissed off.”
“Damn, now I have to raise a hellion on my own. I think I’M goin’ to need a beer.”
Since the death, Amy had been working harder than ever, and yet, still doesn’t make enough money.
She has a high enough level in her career to make housecalls with her clients, and by housecalls, I mean she can now chase these people around town for hours on end, wait for them to take off to work for the next five hours instead, then follow them home, and THEN, when all is said and done, get told that it isn’t what they wanted and that Amy is being inappropriate and that she will have to leave.
“I hate this haircut and this jacket.”
“Well I hate you.”
“Oh paw! I miss you so much daddy! You actually cared about me and my well being as a child.”
Luanne is miserable all the time because of her father’s death. She can’t sleep, eat, or do homework without bursting into tears. I know how miserable it is to lose your father, but when you are trying to keep them from starving to death, it gets annoying.
I was trying to get Buck to do after school fun time in town and didn’t realize that Amy had cut work early to go home to get in her PJs and cry over Buck’s grave.
I’m so sorry Amy, but wouldn’t it be nice to, you know, actually make money to make your bills for once?
“I’ve followed ‘ure ass around town all day today, and according to you, you want to get a new haircut, two everyday wears, three formals, new shoes, two athletic wears, and three swimwears? Are you serious?!”
“Yeah! Shark wants what Shark needs! Give Shark his wants now!”
“What is this?! This isn’t what Shark asked for!”
“Yes it is! The shoes, haircuts, and the ten new outfits are there and accountable! I spent time on this, Shark, now give me my check!”
“It is not! Shark asked for three swimming outfits, and Shark only got two! Shark unhappy with Amy’s Services!”
“Look you assface! I followed you around since one today! It’s eight! And how many swimshorts does one guy really need?! All they are are just necklaces you are paying for!”
“I hate my life.”
So that’s it for now. Leroy’s death really depressed me. But life must go on. I’m just glad that I got to breed him before his death. Would have sucked of I didn’t.
Next time, Amy continues to be miserable-or not! And the kids grow up and… actually stay miserable. Maybe.
I don’t really do suspense.